LIBRARY OF CONGRESS. 



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Shelf ..hXjSA&X 

UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. 



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mr the 

[The Novenarian Magnate.] 

DRUNKARD'S PLAY WITH CHILDREN. 



IN SIX CHAPTERS, ENDING WrTH A LECTURE ON 

TEMPERANCE INTOXICATED: 



REPORTED BY 



ZFtiErv- kc. J*. b:e3o:k::e3:fl 







BORACHIO'S BO-PEEP 



OR, 



THE DRUNKARD'S PLAY WITH CHILDREN 



A Glance at Things Behind the Curtains of Society, Pro 
and Con, on the Great Question of 

TEMPERANCE, 

WITH ILLUSTRATIONS. 



The Dialogism is Conducted by Ondit, Confrere, Replicant, 



A.lSri> OTHKRS. 




REPORTKI7 BY 
/ 

REV. JE3~. «T„ BECKER. 



'F WASHING 










Entered according to the Act of Congress, in the year 1882, by 
Ret. H. J. Becker, 4tt 
In the office of the Librarian of Congress, at Washington. 
[All Eights Reserved.] 



TO THE 

SUCCESSFUL GOSPEL TEMPERANCE EVANGELIST, 

MARTIN LUTHER HALLENBECK, 

WHOSE METHOD OF SAVING THE DRUNKARD IS HEREIN 

MOST EARNESTLY DEFENDED, THESE PAGES 

ARE RESPECTFULLY INSCRIBED 

BY THEIR AUTHOR. 



Preface 



"Laugh where we must, 
Be candid where we can; 
But vindicate the ways of God to man." — Pope. 

If "blindness, in part," had only " happened" to the 
Independent Order of Good Templars as it relates to the 
incorporation of their "religious idea," which is a borrowed 
affair, and which seeks either to ignore the " idea" or to 
minimize its value, they might be able to say that they are 
what they are in order to "provoke us to jealousy." But 
since the originator was conversant with religion in at 
least the whole of its theological dogmas, we have to lay 
the charge of its near approach to Osiris, the great diety 
of the Egyptians, to the efforts of interposition. Of him it 
is written in mythology, that he was "the manifester of 
good, the opener of truth, and as being full of goodness 
and truth." [Murray's Mythology, p. 348.] Contrast the 
religion of Osiris with the "religious idea" found in the 
I. 0. G. T. confession of faith, and ritual of the explanations 
of their degree work, and you will recognize the similarity 
existing between them. They are both Unitarians, and 
have moral virtue imparted unto them by the gods. Here 
we give an extract from the pen of S. B. Chase, P. R. W. G. 
T. of the R. W. G. Lodge of North America. [See Chase's 
Exposition of Good Templars, revised edition, 1881, p. 16. j 
The writer says: "At our fountains will be taken the rich 
draughts of wisdom, and within the pale of our Order will 
henceforth be found the sentiment that is to sway and 
control for good the social, moral, and political institutions 
of our country." These few pages are given with a view to 
modify the force of their arguments in its favor, and also 
those in favor of the several similar orders that exist in 
our midst. We are not ready to concede the right of 
heathen worship to any man or faction of men, whatever 
their pretentions to piety may be. And especially is this 
true, when such worship substitutes the true worship of 
God, who "is a Spirit, and they that worship Him MUST 



vi Preface. 

worship Him in spirit and in truth." [St. John, 4, 24.] 
The dialogism puts their shaky creeds and absurd and 
ludicrous performances, and their attempts to justify and 
sanctify their humanitarian institutions into the " crucible," 
and after a full and to them very humiliating test, gives an 
exhibition of the "slag" in the "cinder box." The reader 
will bear in mind that the characters in the dialogism are 
really in earnest. They are all taken from living entities 
with whom the writer is personally acquainted. The 
illustrations are presented to let in "light" for those who 
may be unable to see pen pictures. 

Should the Egyptians feel inclined to demand of me a 
sacrifice to appease the wrath of their offended deity, let 
them offer the "muzzled ox" and the "dumb ass" they 
"unequally yoked together to plow." In the name of 'Him 
whose Immaculate Son, the Redeemer of the World, is 
herein held up to the poor victims of Satan's malicious 
devices, these pages are sent to the world with the sympathy 
and prayer of the writer, that both the blind teachers and 
leaders of the blind who have together fallen into the ditch 
may be rescued and saved. 

The author is pleased to acknowledge the receipt of the 
following lines from his friend and Brother, Rev. John 
McBride, of Dunnigan, CaL, under date of June 19th, 
1882. He, after hearing the reading of the first sixty-four 
pages, wrote: 

"Dear Brother Becker: I certainly think that your book 
is very much needed, and should be impartially read by all 
classes. There is no doubt that many are working in good 
faith, not realizing that their hands are tied and their work 
of little or no avail. I hope it will find its way into many a 
home, and do the good intended by its author." 

THE AUTHOR. 

Sacramento, June 30th, 1882. 

N. B. — The extra Magnate inclosed at page 80 is intended to 
be held in hand while reading the explanation. 



STOP! STOP! 



EEADER, have you read the Preface? If you have not, 
tarn to it at once. After reading it, you may pass on 
to the contents of 

CHAPTER I. 

REPLICANT INTERVIEWED BY ONDIT. 

Mr. Ondit, a French citizen, has become interested in the 
cause of temperance, and has been solicited to join the Inde- 
pendent Order of Good Templars by a Mr. Confrere, a 
member of the order. Mr. Ondit, whom, for short, we will 
call On., has for many years been a temperance man, and 
supported temperance principles and temperance men. Mr. 
Confrere, whom, for short, we will call Con., has been con- 
nected with the Good Templars for above nine years, and 
has filled the several chairs of official distinction peculiar to 
the order. On. is not favorable to the manner in which the 
issue is being involved with other issues so as to make both 
it and them repulsive to the good sense of the temperance 
community. 

Upon a certain occasion, when these two gentlemen were 
discussing the propriety of joining the lodge, Con. charged 
On. with being under the influence of Mr. Replicant, a gentle- 
man who lived in a neighboring town, and who was noted for 
his opposition to secret societies. On. denied ever having 
had any conversation with Replicant, whom, for short, we 
will call Rep., but afterwards concluded to pay him a visit 
and draw hirn out on what Con. called his " hobby." On. is 



2 Borachio's Bo-Peep; or, 

desirous of learning from the lips of Hep. the reasons why 
he opposes secresy in so mild a form as he is told it exists in 
the I. 0. G. T. 

It is eight o'clock, Tuesday evening. Mr. Ondit is seated 
in the parlor of Mr. Replicant, when the following conver- 
sation takes place : 

On. — I learn that you are opposed to the temperance cause 
as it is being agitated in the community at this time, and 
have called in to ascertain the facts in the case. 

Rep. — Your informant is in error; I am a stanch temper- 
ance man. You may, perhaps, have misunderstood the party 
that informed you. They may have said that I opposed 
intemperance. 

On. — They said you were opposed to the Independent 
Order of Good Templars. 

Rep. — That gives it quite an opposite shade of meaning; 
a man may be opposed to the use of a kerosene lamp with- 
out opposing light. 

On. — Were you ever a Good Templar? 

Rep. — I have never belonged to the order. 

On. — How can you object to the order without good 
grounds for so doing? If you have never belonged to any 
lodge, you cannot consistently oppose it, because you do not 
know its internal workings. 

Rep. — I presume you mean the " unwritten work" of the 
order. The Good Templars themselves say that there are no 
secrets in their lodges. It is nevertheless true that I am 
opposed to doing work for God "under a bushel, or in a 
corner;" but that is only one argument from a long list of 
objections I have to offer against them. It were better for 
them and for the world if they would conceal much of what 
they reveal, and reveal all that they conceal. Truth, Virtue, 
and Fidelity need no cloistered grotto to hide them, nor 
guarded garret to screen them from those whom to attract 
should be their main ambition. 

On. — I never knew that they hid anything from the people 
but what would not have been prudent to reveal at the time. 

Rep. — Were you ever connected with their order ? 



Play with Children. 3 

On. — ISTo, sir; but I have had numerous conversations with 
some of their most prominent men and women. 

Rep. — I was led to infer from the question you propounded 
a moment ago that you were connected with the order in 
some way. 

On. — I cannot conceive how such an inference ever crossed 
your mind. I do not belong to any lodge whatever. I have 
been thinking of joining the Good Templars, for the purpose 
of doing more in the cause of temperauce, but have delayed 
sending in my name. 

Rep. — I inferred that you were a Good Templar from what 
you said I did not know of its internal workings. May I ask 
why you have delayed sending in your name ? 

On. — To be frank with you, Mr. Replicant, I have delayed 
until I could see you and get your views upon the whole mat- 
ter. I have heard so many things about your views on the 
temperance question, and concerning your position on the 
lodge — or rather on secret societies — that I at first thought 
to approach you indirectly and draw you out; but have since 
concluded to apprise you of the real object of my mission 
to you. I am in a place of strange surroundings. No one 
can be more anxious to take a stand upon the right side of 
this matter than I. Wherever I am known I am pronounced 
as a sound temperance man; but in attending the lectures 
last week in the city I heard the speaker say that those who 
were not identified with the organic movement were of no 
real worth to the temperance cause. 

Rep. — Who was the speaker you heard say that? 

On. — It was Mr. L , a Grand Lodge lecturer of the 

I. 0. G. T. I was there the night he had a committee pass 
through the audience to secure names for the lodges of this 
place. I saw you there, and noticed you shake your head 
when they handed you the paper for your signature. Some 
of the committee thought it a strange refusal. They said 
that you had stood in the front ranks of the temperance 
revivals during the Winter, and that they had always taken 
you to be an uncompromising temperance advocate, and felt 
mortified at your refusal that night. 



4 Borachio's Bo-Peep; or, 

Rep. — Did you attend Major Whittle's gospel revival meet- 
ings, last Fall, in this city ? 

On. — I did, and enjoyed them very much. 

Rep. — The night he closed his meetings he had slips of 
paper distributed throughout the audience room, and 
requested all who desired to join any of the respective 
churches of the city to write upon the slips the name of 
the church of their choice, with their signatures, and hand 
it to the collectors appointed to collect them. ^Tow, let me 

ask you if you would consider it right for Rev. Dr. D 

to say that those who did not join his church were of no 
real worth to the cause of Christianity? The converts of 
that revival chose their places of worship with the people 
and the churches whose views were in consonance with their 
own views and feelings. 

On. — In answer to your question I have only to say that I 
thought the speaker too positive, and his assertions a fair 
example of his indiscretion. 

Rep. — I am an advocate of temperance principles, and 
have always, since I first espoused the cause, been true to 
its banner corps. I am identified with the organic move- 
ment, but not with the Good Templars. Their manner of 
suppressing intemperance is to me so vague that to connect 
myself with them would be to admit that an infinitesimal 
grain of temperance, mixed with cargoes of sinful indulg- 
ences, is a more powerful agency to suppress vice than vir- 
tue itself. Above thirteen years ago I subscribed to the 
following section on moral reform : 

"The distilling, vending, and use of intoxicating drinks as a bev- 
erage shall be and is hereby forbidden throughout our church, as is 
also the renting and leasing of property to be used for the manufac- 
turing or selling of such beverages; also the signing of petitions for 
license, or the entering as bondsmen for persons engaged in the traffic 
of intoxicating drinks." [Here follows penalty in case of violation.] 

On. — Have you the Good Templars' pledge in your house? 

Rep. — I have. Here it is: 

"No member shall make, buy, sell, or use as a beverage any spirit- 
uous or malt liquors, wine, or cider; but every member shall discoun- 
tenance the manufacture and sale thereof in all proper ways." 



The Drunkard's Play with Children. 5 

On. — That pledge ia not as binding as the one you sub- 
scribed to. 

Rep. — It is quite good if let alone; but the Grand Lodge 
has passed so many decisions on it that have taken the bands 
from it. and left it so weak that rum traffickers count the 
Good Templars among their constituents, except that they 
will not drink. 

On. — Well, what more do you ask of them than to sign 
the pledge? 

Rep. — I ask them not to countenance the manufacture and 
sale of intoxicating liquors at all. I say down with it. It 
is an unrighteous commerce, and should not be propped up 
at all. 

On. — Why! do not the Good Templars discountenance it? 

Rep. — They have many, very many worthy members who 
are true to temperance, but they either do not see that the 
Grand Lodge has tied their hands, or they are powerless to 
act in correcting the decisions that have almost thwarted the 
object and aim of their pledge. 

On. — I am surprised to hear that. I thought from what 
their Grand Lodge lecturer said that night that they were 
doing a wonderful work. 

Rep. — They are doing some substantial work to alleviate 
a few, but sadly fail to elevate. Alleviation without eleva- 
tion is but a part of the work assigned a reformer. Mr. 

L , the man whom you speak of, is a wanderer from the 

fold of God. He admitted that he was not a Christian; 
that his good old Methodist mother had prayed for him from 
his childhood, and had hoped to see the day when he would 
be converted and become a member of the Church. To 
which he added, "My time has not yet come." The woman 
who was with him here is without doubt an indefatigable 
worker; but alas! what fairy queen pride! What haughti- 
ness of spirit! What lack of the "Spirit which was also in 
Christ!" What 

"Vaulting ambition which overleaps itself!" 
One of the old prophets said of Jesus, "Unto Him shall the 



6 Borachio's Bo-Peep; or, 

gathering of the people be." But these Grand Lodge lec- 
turers deify the lodge, aud make it the only center of attrac- 
tion. 

On. — I see that you have some ground for not joining them. 

Rep. — I attended their meetings, and took part in them, 
until I found that instead of leading drunkards to Christ 
and His Church, they canvassed for the lodge. I felt grieved 
that an uncon verted man should he allowed to stand in the 
sacred desk of the Methodist Episcopal Church and shoot 
out such virulent arrows at the people of God. Elvery Meth- 
odist present knew that their Church is doing more for the 
intemperate in this State than all the Good Templar lodges 
put together. The Methodist Church stands in the front 
ranks on temperance reform. I was also exceedingly grieved 
that the "altar of prayer," the place where her ministers 
are ordained, and her Bishops consecrated — where the em- 
blems of our Dying and Risen Lord are administered, and 
where penitents seek the absolution of their sins — should be 
thus desecrated, and perverted to the utter rejection of the 
"only way in which we can be saved." Think of it soberly 
for one moment, Mr. Ondit. How eagerly the angels must 
watch over the exercises of that sacred place. It is there 
the truth is proclaimed and defended. It is there the invi- 
tations of mercy are heralded. It is there the wayward are 
pointed to the "Atoning Sacrifice." But see. How changed 
the scene! Those claiming to be moral reformers are them- 
selves in need of the renovating process in their own hearts. 
Do you know that the Holy Spirit was waiting to carry the 
truth home to the hearts of the unsaved, and to apply the 
blood of the atonement to every penitent believer's heart? 
How He was rejected in that meeting; and how Jesus, the 
adorable Saviour, was not so much as named, except in 
prayer by a Christian minister. Had Jesus been there as 
He was at Jerusalem in the days of His Incarnation, He 
would have invited the unfortunate propensity bound victims 
of appetite and of lust to come and kneel at His feet and 
appropriate the healing balm of His great salvation. 

On. — I do not profess to be a Christian, but I can plainly 



The Drunkard's Play with Children. « 

see from your remarks that there is more sacredness attached 
to the altar of prayer, as you term it, than I ever knew to be 
before. I thought your objection to the Good Templars to 
be of a different character altogether from what I have 
learned from this interview. 

Rep. — You have not yet heard me give my argument. I 
have only referred to several points incidentally. 

On. — I was always under the impression that you objected 
to them on some trivial grounds; and I felt that you had a 
perfect right to differ with them if you so desired. 

Rep. — When trivial matters of such character become major 
issues, they form just grounds for the most radical opposition. 

On. — Well, Mr. Replicant, I am very much obliged to you 
for giving me some things to think of with regard to this 
temperance reform. I do not wish to detain you longer. 

Rep. — Do not be in such haste, Mr. Ondit; I should be 
pleased, since you have come in to learn why I take the posi- 
tion I do, to tell you more fully what has led me to such pos- 
itive conclusions relative to the lodge and lodge reformers. 

On. — You have satisfied me that my former impressions 
were not based upon a correct understanding of your position. 

Rep. — That does not complete the argument I am often 
charged with being opposed to temperance, and temperance 
reforms. I am often pronounced either a " perjured wretch," 
or an "insane fool," simply because I object to the semi-civ- 
ilization, and still less religion, of many of these lodges and 
lodge reformers. I occupy the ground of a conservator of 
the sacred utensils of the altar, and of the divinely vouch- 
safed rights of its votaries. It is of imperative importance 
that I not only set myself right before the community, but 
also that I draw the curtains aside, and let my critical lodge 
lovers get some light from without, and invite my friends 
without to gaze in upon their altars and their priests, and 
upon their absurd and ludicrous performances for the "good 
of the orders." 

On. — I have heard a great deal said against your position, 
and know that you are being very severely censured by some, 
while others are of the opinion that you have a right to your 



8 Borachio's Bo-Peep; or, 

views, and only offer criticisms upon your attitude toward 
them. 

Rep. — Criticisms may only affect the manner in which I 
make my protest; but censure affects my principles and 
attacks my manhood. 

On. — I notice that your feelings have been somewhat 
aroused, and that you claim the right of explanation. 

Rep. — I have no feelings except those of true manhood. 
I expect no explanation from them. They have none to 
make. The "good of their order"' incorporates the utter 
disregard of my principles and feelings. There are some 
exceptions — noble exceptions. I have friends who are con- 
nected with some of these lodges who are excellent types of 
character, and who not only respect me in my views, but 
sanction my position. 

On. — Is it not strange that they do not leave the lodge and 
join you in your defense? 

Rep. — They are with me in sentiment and in feelings; and, 
but for them, I should despair of being able to correct the 
balance sheets of the lodges, or measure the strength and 
force of my protest. 

On. — Why do they not come out in open and out spoken 
denunciation? 

Rep. — Very many of them are non-affiliating members. 
Others are inactive; while still others are earnestly engaged 
in correcting the evils of their respective lodges. I have in 
my possession hundreds of names of those who became dis- 
gusted with the abominations of the lodge, and have come 
out of it, and openly renounced it. 

On. — So you feel assured that your position is not so 
unpopular as many think it to be? 

Rep. — I do know that the time is fast approaching when 
these unholy centers of attraction that are crippling the ener- 
gies of the churches will become so odious that their charters 
will be taken away from them, and they disbanded by the 
public sentiment, or, if need be, by legislative enactments. 

On. — I am somewhat surprised to hear that their influence 
is against the churches. I always thought they were friendly 
to the churches. 



The Drunkard's Play with Children. 9 

Rep. — The churches have to legislate against some of their 
most common and usual amusements. They get persons 
from the churches to join them, and make them partakers 
of their sins. They have creeds that are as heterodoxical as 
Satan wants them; and forms as devoid of the power of God 
as were the entreaties of Gulliver among the Brobdingnag- 
ites, described in Dean Swift's satirical romance of Gulliver's 
Travels. 

On. — I have never made close inquiry into their constitu- 
tion and regulations, and hence know but little about them. 
I have attended some of the funerals of lodge members in 
the city; and have heard some of their speakers on their 
anniversary occasions speak in the highest terms of their 
" unwritten work;" but, of course, I did not know what it 
was. I was very much disgusted with their funeral services. 
They buried two men last week with whom I was well 
acquainted. One of them was a very fine man — a man of 
acknowledged integrity. The other was just the opposite. 
He was one of the most wicked men I ever knew. I attended 
the funerals of both, and was shocked to hear them read the 
same burial service over the remains of the one they did 
over the other. I noticed that they offered them freedom 
from the cares and disappointments of life and a peaceful 
rest in that celestial sphere from whence no traveller returns. 
I was so disgusted that I did say I would never attend another 
funeral in the hands of the Exempt Firemen. 

Rep. — I should be pleased to give you a brief statement 
of my principal objections to all lodges "having forms of 
godliness but denying the power thereof." 

On. — I have a neighbor by the name of Confrere, who has 
urged me to join several lodges to which he belongs. He 
is very anxious to get me to join the Good Templars. 
Would you object to my bringing him in with me to-mor- 
row evening? He is posted in matters pertaining to the 
lodge. I should like very much to hear you talk with him. 

Rep. — The written work of the lodges are known to all. 
And since he is pledged not to reveal the " unwritten work," 
there would be nothing gained in coming in contact with 
him. 



10 Borachio's Bo-Peep; or, 

On.~— Well, I think that it is due the lodge to make a 
defense of their principles and practices, and that Mr. Con- 
frere should be allowed to hear your statements, and state 
his side, if he chooses to do so. 

Rep. — I have no objections to his coming; in with you, but 
know that his jewel is "a silent tongue," and that like 

"Willie Wier; what he does not like 
He will not hear." 

On. — Will it be convenient to you to talk with him to-mor- 
row evening? 

Rep. — I have no other engagement then. 

On. — Then you may look for us to-morrow evening. Good 
night. 



CHAPTER II. 

ONDIT, CONFRERE, SIMPLE SIM, AND REPLICANT IN MISCELLAN- 
EOUS DISPUTATIONS. 

[Replicant is seated in his parlor reading the latest news from 
.the survivors of the "Jeannette" when the sound of the door bell 
reminds him of the engagement he made with Ondit the night 
before. He opens the door and invites the company in.~] 

On. — Mr. Replicant, I take pleasure in introducing to you 
my neighbor, Mr. Confrere. Also Mr. Sim. 

Rep. — Be seated, gentlemen ; and let me take your hats. 

On. — I wish to explain how Mr. Sim came in with us. He 
heard us talking, i. e., Mr. Confrere and myself, concerning 
our visit to you this evening, and asked us if we objected to 
his coming with us. I thought best to leave his remaining 
here during the evening to your decision. 

Rep. — I am glad to see him. I have met him upon the 
street several times, and he has always bowed very politely, 
but I have not had the pleasure of forming his acquaintance 
until now. Seeing, however, that we have an engagement 



The Drunkard's Play with Children. 11 

to-night, I think the feelings of jour friend, Mr. Confrere, 
should be consulted with reference to the contemplated dis- 
cussion taking place in his presence. 

Con. — I have come in upon the invitation of Mr. Ondit to 
have a talk with you and get you to correct several state- 
ments you made to him last evening. I am not ashamed of 
my principles, and I am not particular who hears them. 

On. — I think, Mr Sim, you can remain, if you desire. 

Sim. — i am glad tu be hear, i herd u an Konfrere talken 
lait las nite bout lodges, an i knu that if any uv yure lodges 
has ever dun fur u J as much as mine has fur me, u'd stik 
tu em an never let go a-tall. i have belonged to em 11 
veers, and think a heep moar uv em now than ever i did 
afore, if it is tru that u, Mr. Replykant, sed what i herd u 
did, n r kind uv shaller sumwhair, and i kno what i em 
sa ? en, tu. 

Rep. — Yes; I have heard that before, and really think that 
my case needs immediate attention. 

Sim. — We have a docktor in mi lodg who xamines them as 
wants to jine us. He'd sune tell u if u r alrite or not. i am 
realy uv the opinyun that u r not jus rite sum how. 

Rep. — What has led yon to such a conclusion? 

Sim. — W-e-1-1, ever since i herd that u r so doun on the 
lodges, i maid up mi mind that ther wus sumthen holer sum- 
whair. an then, las weak 1 uv our oraters sed in a speech 
that the lodg had sum enemies, but that tha kudent du 
nuthen. He sed that any man whu wuld oppoas us wus 
krazie an wus not rite smart. 

On. — Mr. Replicant, I hope you will not feel hurt by Mr. 
Sim. He is very positive, and always talks that way. 

Rep. — Not at all; not at all, Mr. Ondit; Sim has learned 
his lesson well. He hates his friends and loves his enemies. 

On. — (In a low voice.) He is not considered altogether 
right by his neighbors. They call him Simple Sim, and I 
hope you will not allow him to annoy you in the least. 

Con. — Mr. Replicant, I learn that you have said some very 
hard things against the lodge; and that you do not favor the 
Good Templars. You may be able to argue and plead your 



12 Borachio's Bo-Peep; or, 

case before those who are strangers to our societies, but your 
arguments will not hold good when you face a man who has 
been through them and knows their workings. 

Rep. — I trust, Mr. Confrere, that you will manifest an 
excellent spirit in this interview. I gave my consent to 
your coming in and having a talk with me, but I am some- 
what astonished to hear you insinuate that I took the advan- 
tage of the ignorance of my audience last evening. 

On. — Mr. Confrere, I think yon are a little excited, are you 
not? There was not a hard word said last night. Mr. Rep- 
licant replied to numerous questions I asked him, giving me 
some insight into the so called "good of the orders." 

Con. — Did not you say that he pronounced the lodges 
Christless institutions? 

On. — He* said that some of them were. 

Rep. — Gentlemen, the main question leading to this dis- 
cussion is temperance. I am not a little surprised that a 
spirit of retaliative argumentation should so early make its 
appearance. Let us be men; and if we must differ, let us 
differ like men. We may not be able to estimate the merits 
or the demerits of a cause, by weighing it in the ounce 
notches of the first quarter pound. 

Sim. — u hav got moar sens than i thot u had when i kum 
in. Tha su in times git to spaten in our lodg, and hav tu be 
told that 

Con. — If you take the position that any lodge to which I 
belong is a Christless institution, then you assume what is 
false, and you ought to be willing to correct your assertion. 

Rep. — The object of this interview, as I understand it, is, 
to discuss the temperance question. When Mr. Ondit came 
to see me last evening, he charged me with being opposed to 
temperance: and when I assured him that I was not, he said 
that he understood that I was opposed to the Good Templars. 
To which I replied that a person might be opposed to the 
use of a kerosene lamp without opposing light. Mr. Ondit 
himself admitted that he came to me to get my views upon 
the temperance question, and stated several objections he 
had to its being so mixed with other issues. He also told 



The Drunkard's Play with Children. 13 

me of how the Good Templars commented upon my refusal 
to join their lodge in this city when requested to do so dur- 
ing the temperance meetings held here last week. I gave 
him several reasons why I could not join them. 

Con. — Did you not argue the lodge question before him 
last evening? 

Rep. — I made a few general remarks, and urged him to 
hear me while I gave him my reasons more fully for taking 
and occupying the position I do. It was then he requested 
me to postpone the matter until this evening, so that you 
could be present. I am perfectly willing to be corrected if I 
have made any incorrect statements, or arrived at any imma- 
ture conclusions. I am not a do-nothing of a man, but am 
personally identified with a society that contemplates the 
elevation, the amelioration, and the salvation of its mem- 
bers. We claim the mission of moral reformers should be 
commensurate with moral evil — that Jesus Christ came not 
only to "seek the lost," but also to " sa^e " them. 

Con. — Do not we save many from drunkard's graves? 

Rep. — You do occasionally, through the influence of Chris- 
tian effort, get some one to quit drinking; but then you 
encourage so many concomitant vices among your members, 
that it is an indisputable fact that your want of moral restric- 
tion is more fruitful of vice than of virtue. 

Con. — So you think we are not doing any good at all, do 
you? 

Rep. — You allow "your good to be evil spoken of," and 
your evil to be well spoken of. You put " darkness for light, 
and light for darkness." Jeremiah told the obdurate Jewish 
priests that they had "healed the hurt of the daughter of his 
people slightly, saying peace, peace; when there is no peace." 
The prophet says, " We looked for peace, but no good came; 
and for a time of health, and behold trouble !" My objec- 
tions to the Good Templars are based upon premises worthy 
of more than a glancing thought. Upon all movements of 
moral reform, I take the position that any influence, be it 
the result of an organization, or of an individual, that does 
not enlarge the spirituality of the Church of the Lord Jesus, 



14 Borachio's Bo-Peep; or, 

is an unwholesome influence, which only tends to cumber 
the ground, and monopolize the territory that God gave His 
children for the purpose of sowing the words of truth, and 
reaping the harvest of life. 

Con. — I am not a theologian, and do not claim to be able 
to discuss points of theology; but cannot see that the Good 
Templars are monopolizing territory. They have done a 
good work since their organization in 1851. 

Rep. — Are you ignorant of the fact that very many of 
those who entered it with nattering prospects to accomplish 
a work for God and humanity, have become disgusted and 
withdrawn from it? Some of the leading men of this State 
have abandoned all hope of ever accomplishing the work 
contemplated by them when they joined the lodge. They 
are so mortified over the red tape nonsense and meaningless 
marching around and around, and halting, and marching a 
little more, and then a little more red tape, and then a bow, 
and then a salutation, and so forth, and so on. They went in 
there to do business, not to play bo-peep. They are men of 
sense, and cannot and will not play the play of "Simon says 
thumbs up! Simon says thumbs down ! Thumbs up ! Thumbs 
down!" Some of them went down stairs and took their 
thumbs with them, to aid their fingers to work in more 
fruitful ways, and have not returned since. 

Con. — Did you ever belong to them? 

Rep. — I belong to a society that adopted a temperance and 
prohibition clause in 1821, thirty years before the Independ- 
ent Order of Good Templars had an existence. 

Con. — What is the name of the society? 

Rep. — They are called Die Vereinigten Brilder in Christo. 

Con. — I have heard of them, but never knew that they 
adopted temperance measures so early. You say it was in 
1821? 

Rep.— Yes, sir; May 15th, 1821. 

On. — That must have been among the earliest temperance 
movements known to the churches? 

Rep. — The General Association of Massachusetts Proper, 
in 1811 appointed a committee, of which Rev. Dr. Worcester 



The Drunkard's Play with Children. 15 

was chairman, whose object it was to check the progress of 
intemperance. It did not, however, complete its organiza- 
tion till 1813. 

Con. — Did not other churches enter the movement at that 
time? 

Rep. — The American Temperance Society was organized 
in 1826. It was the first into which the evangelical churches 
entered. Remember, this was five years after our society 
took official action upon the temperance question. 

On. — Mr. Replicant read to me last evening their temper- 
ance clause. It is the strongest one I ever heard. 

Con. — It cannot be stronger than ours. 

On. — Well, it is. It forbids using, as a beverage, all kinds 
of intoxicating liquors. 

Con. — So does our3. 

On. — Wait till I tell you, will you? It forbids distilling 
and vending intoxicating liquors; and will not allow its 
members to rent or lease property to be used for the manu- 
facturing or selling of such beverages. It will not allow its 
members to sign petitions for license, or enter as bondsmen 
for persons engaged in the traffic of intoxicating drinks. 

Con. — Neither will the Good Templars. 

Rep. — Do you wish to be understood that the Good Temp- 
lars discourage the manufacture and sale of intoxicating 
liquors in all proper ways? 

Con. — They do. Their pledge says that " every member 
shall discountenance the manufacture and sale thereof in all 
proper ways." 

Rep. — Can a Good Templar ever grant a license to rum- 
sellers? 

Con. — No, sir; he must discountenance it in every proper 
way. 

Rep. — But suppose he were a revenue officer, would he 
have the right to issue license to rumsellers then? 

Con. — No, sir; no Good Templar would aspire to be 
elected to, or desire to remain in any position that would 
involve him in the sale of liquor. It is wrong to license the 
sale of it ; and hence it follows that no good temperance man 



16 Borachio's Bo-Peep; OR, 

would hold an office in the State that would oblige him to 
violate his pledge. 

Bep. — Was you present at the seventh session of the Grand 
Lodge of California? 

Con. — No, sir; I was not. 

Bep. — The Grand Lodge decided that " a member does 
not violate his obligation when acting in the capacity of a 
county revenue officer, by issuing or granting license to 
rumsellers." 

Con. — Let me see that book. [Bep. hands him the book, 
open at page 29.] I never saw that before. If I had been 
a member of that Grand Lodge I would have fought against 
it to the last. Let me see — the seventh session — why, that 
was before I joined them! Well, I declare, it is strange I 
did not notice that before. Had I been in that lodge I would 
have defeated that measure. 

Sim. — That's what u git fur not tenden to yure bizniz. 

Bep. — Did you attend the twenty-first session of the Grand 
Lodge? 

Con. — Yes; I was a member of it. 

Bep. — How does it come that you did not remonstrate 
against that infamous decision found on page 30? Turn to 
it, please. It reads: " A Constable who, in the discharge of 
his official duties as such, sells intoxicating liquors, does not 
violate his obligation." 

Con. — I was not on that committe. 

Bep. — Was you in the bar of the lodge when the commit- 
tee came in with that report? 

Con. — Let me think a moment. Yes, I was; but then 
there were so many who favored it that I knew that there 
would be no use to oppose it. 

Bep. — So yon allowed your conscience to be trampled upon 
by the majority of the members of the GOOD Templars' 
GBAND Lodge of California? Let me read you several de- 
cisions of that grand (?) body. (See fourth session, page 45.) 
"It is not a violation for a carpenter or other artisan to merely 
labor for hire in refitting or repairing an establishment used 
for the sale of intoxicating drinks." (See eighth session, page 



The Drunkard's Play with Children. 17 

42.) "It is not a violation of the obligation for a man to 
gather grapes to be made into wine, who is at work by the 
month for a living." Also, "It is not a violation of our obli- 
gation to sell glasses, etc., knowing the same are to be used 
in a liquor saloon." Let me ask you, Mr. Confrere, what do 
you mean by that "etc.?" 

Sim. — Kant u take a hint without be'en kikt? 

Rep. — Session twenty-second, page 30, reads : " A member 
does not violate his obligation who sells a town lot knowing 
that it will be used for the purpose of selling liquor." On 
page 29 it says: "It is not a violation of a Good Templar's 
obligation to print labels for beer barrels." 

On. — Mr. Replicant, I am now fully convinced that you 
are not only justified in not joining the Good Templars, but 
if these things be true you ought to take the stand and let 
the world know that the order is a misnomer — a farce, that 
is unworthy the name it bears, or of the support it receives. 

Rep. — I will now give the sum of these decisions, and 
show you, Mr. Confrere, what is left of that pledge. The 
G. W. C. T. sells Pat McGullen "a town lot, knowing that it 
will be used for the purpose of selling liquor." The W. V. T. 
is a carpenter, and moves a building on it, " refitting an estab- 
lishment used for the sale of intoxicating drinks." The W. 
M. "issues a license to the rumseller." The W. T. "gathers 
grapes to be made into wine." The W. F. S., in " discharge 
of his official duties as such, sells intoxicating liquors." 
The P. W. C. T. sells glasses, etc., "knowing the same are 
to be used in a liquor saloon." And the R. H. S. and L. H. 
S. "print labels for beer barrels." The Worthy Chaplain 
(see opening prayer) then prays, "Our Father, * * be 
Thou pleased to pardon all our transgressions, and forgive 
us for having loved and served Thee so feebly. * * * We 
would commeud to Thee the suffering everywhere, and espe- 
cially the inebriate and his family; and wilt Thou help us to 
work for the good of those thus unfortunate. Bless, O Lord, 
the organization to which we belong," etc. 

On. — Why, gentlemen, lam more and more astonished to 
hear these things. Mr. Confrere, why did not you tell me of 



18 Borachio's Bo-Peep; or, 

these things? You have so often urged me to join your lodge, 
telling me that it was one of the grandest temperance organ- 
izations in the world. Do you know these things to be true ? 

Con. — Well, they may be so in some cases. 

On. — Has not Mr. Replicant showed you page and section 
in each instance ? 

Con. — Yes; I don't deny that he has. 

On. — Then why did you so urge me to join ? I came nearly 
being persuaded ; but concluded to hear Mr. Replicant's 
views before I joined. I owe him a debt of gratitude I can 
never repay. I have a wife and four children — two boys and 
two girls. They are virtuous and innocent. Had I joined, 
they would have entered with me. They never drank a drop 
of intoxocating liquor in their lives. How mortified I would 
have been to have taken my family into an institution which, 
for the sake of official positions of distinction, will allow its 
members to "grant license to rumsellers ; " and for the 
almighty dollar allow its members to "sell town lots," and 
"refit establishments for the sale of intoxicating drinks;" 
and "gather grapes to make wine;" and "sell glasses to 
liquor saloons;" and "print labels for beer barrels." And 
do you call that a temperance society? Mr. Replicant, you 
are a benefactor, and I shall see to it that the misrepresenta- 
tions I have heard made of your position are corrected. I 
shall demand their correction. 

Con. — Mr. Ondit, to be candid with you, I will just say, 
that I never saw things in the light in which I now see them. 

Rep. — Gentlemen, you would do me a great favor if you 
would allow me to continue my argument against the lodge 
as it relates to moral reforms. I have only just introduced 
the grounds of my objections to these would-be reforming 
institutions. 

Con. — I should like to hear what you have against secret 
societies. 

Rep. — I have already told you, and shall I tell you again, 
that the object of this interview is to hear my objections to 
the Good Templars, as moral reformers. 

Con. — I understood Mr. Ondit to say that you objected to 
the lodges, and I would like to hear your objections to them. 



The Drunkard's Play with Children. 19 

Rep. — Mr. Confrere, it seems to me that you are trying to 
evade the real issue. You are among those who have said 
repeatedly that I was not a true temperance man. You have 
said that no sensible individual would object to the Good 
Templars; and that they were doing more for the temper- 
ance cause than all the churches combined. I want you to 
know that you do the churches a great injustice by such 
statements. You want me to correct some things I have 
said, and I have told you that if you will point out any incor- 
rect statement I have made, or conclusion arrived at, I would 
most gladly correct them. Shall I expect as much from you? 
You have misrepresented me most grossly, and most unjustly, 
and you ought to be willing and ready to retract what you 
have said. 

Con. — What I said of you was based upon the understand- 
ing I had of your position. I do not see anything to take 
back. 

Rep. — Did not you tell certain persons that I was not a 
very stanch temperance man? Did not you say that any 
man who would refuse to join the Good Templars, as I had 
done last week, was no man at all, and that all of the tem- 
perance such men had could be put in a thimble? Did not 
you say that our society had no right to withhold member- 
ship from the I. 0. G. T. ? 

On. — Yes, Mr. Confere, you told me some things more 
severe than those, and had it not been for this interview, I 
should, perhaps, always have considered this gentleman as 
not being very favorable to temperance. I feel in duty 
bound to defend him whenever I can. I have not said anv- 
thing against him; but have heard a great deal against both 
him and the society to which he belongs, and I claim that 
those who have been so active in censuring him should be 
made to know where he stands, and correct their statements 
concerning his position on temperance. He has not only 
shown what a grand Total Abstinence and Prohibition 
Society he is connected with, but has also shown that the 
Good Templar's pledge has had its bands taken off by the 
Grand Lodge. I am unable to account for the impudence 



20 Borachio's Bo-Peep; or, 

that persists in setting itself in array against such a grand 
society as the one to which he belongs. 

Con. — I can assure you that as soon as his position is fully 
known all further criticisms will come to an end. 

Rep. — I have explained, in brief, our position again and 
again. I have called attention to it from the public stand, 
and through the press; and have conversed with members 
of your lodge quite frequently, and told them where we 
stood upon this question. I have asked them to make a 
statement in open lodge, and set us right before their society, 
but still they have not done so. It is not right that the 
unjust censure alone should cease, but what they have writ- 
ten and spoken should be retracted; and, besides, our true 
position stated, so that in the future we shall be commended 
and not condemned. 

Con. — Perhaps you are expecting too much to be cor- 
rected. 

Rep. — An open acknowledgment of their error, and a plain 
statement of our position will suffice. Will you make them? 

Con. — I have heard that your main objection to the lodge 
is its secrecy. Now, if that be true, they will hardly want 
to make any statements until you explain why you are 
opposed to their secrets. 

Rep. — I see plainly that you are determined to get an 
expression upon that matter. I understand you are not a 
professor of religion ? 

Con. — What has that to do with your answer to the ques- 
tion on secrecy? 

Rep. — My objections to secret societies are based, in part, 
upon their rejection of God's plan to save the lost, and also 
upon their sacriligious ceremonies, instead of "worshiping 
God in spirit and in truth." 

Sim. — i hav bin amung em 11 yeers, an i kno what i sa. 
when i tel u tha r religus in mi lodg. tha pra an sing oads 
until u'de think it wus a meeten hous. an sum time tha 
putty neer preech, but hav tu be stoped. 

On. — Mr. Replicant, since I at first came to you in dis- 
guise, so to speak, not letting you know my real object for 



The Drunkard's Plat with Children. 21 

desiring an interview with you; and because of the confi- 
dence I reposed in the parties who informed me of your 
position, and your plain proof of their misrepresentations, 
and the weakness and futility of their boasted lodge temper- 
ance, I would also like to hear your arguments relating to 
secret societies, believing that you are as able to vindicate 
your position against them, as you were against their temper- 
ance absurdities. 

Rep. — Mr. Ondit, the discussion of the lodge question can 
only be considered here as it bears upon the question of 
temperance. I do object to all secret lodges, but I cannot 
now give my views upon them from several considerations. 
First, because I desire to give my reasons more fully for 
withholding membership from secret temperance lodges; 
second, because we have no time to enter into an examina- 
tion of the real merits and demerits of that matter this 
evening. 

On. — "Would you not be willing to state your objections 
to secrecy as it relates to temperance lodges? 

Con. — Yes, I should like to hear what reasonable objec- 
tions you have to offer against the secrets of the lodge. 
There are no reasonable objections existing against their 
secrets. 

Sim. — u bet! 

Rep. — I should rather not analyze their secrets at this 
time; but would prefer to only draw the curtains aside and 
let you glance in and see for yourself. I think one face-to- 
face look will suffice. And if you shall be able to see what 

I will point out, you, Mr. Confrere, will come out of the 
lodge without delay; and Mr. Ondit will never have any 
desire to enter a lodge room. 

Sim. — i never wil giv up mi lodg for enybody. wher 
wuld i git mi kloas? who'll sit down with me o' nites when 
i'm sik? i kno what i sa when i tel u it is cheeper tu be 
sik in mi lodg than to be wel enywhair els. when i'm sik i 
git muney al the time from mi lodg. tha hev kep it up fur 

II yeers with but litel grumblen bout it. i'm not goen to 
giv em up yet a while. 



22 Borachio's Bo-Peep; or, 

Con. — Mr. Replicant, I am connected with several lodges, 

and I cannot see why 

Sim. — Let me talk, i herd u al the evenen, and now u 
here me a minnit, wil u? 

On. — Mr. Sim, please allow Mr. Confrere to speak. We 
came in this evening to have a conversation with this gen- 
tleman, and trust our interview will not be interrupted. 

Sim. — jis let me giv u a litel akount uv mi xpeerence in 
the lodg tu which i belong, i wont talk long, now jis afore 
i kommens, i want tu sa that mi lodg hez dun evrything fur 
me that kuld be dun fur enybody. now let me tel u what i 
kno to be a fackt. i wuzent konsidered 
respektable til i jined em. i kum within 
1 uv not giten in a-tall. tha thot sfyure i 
kuldent keep it. i hev ben in 11 yeers, 
an never told enything yit. when i went 
in i only wayed 100 and 32 pounds, now 
i way 200 and 2 pounds and a J, and am 
giten biger al time, if i'de leeve em now 
ide luze mi offis as pound master; then 
whatiwuld kum uv the dogs? Klum, mi 
boy, wuld be discharged from the od fel- 
lers' bank in les an a minit, an Nancee, 
my gurl, wuld luze her plais at Mr. Ro- 
man's rite a wa, bekaus he is hie up in 
'the order, afore i went in, i kudent git 
[simple sim.] wurk no whairs; now i kin git mor nor 
i want tu luk at. i'm sik heep uv mi time, an git paid rite 
along, the only thing i kant see thru is that tha dont giv 
me moar than tha du Mr. Slikens. i'm poor, an he's rich, 
now i think tha ottu pa me moar fur be'en sik than tha du 
him, kos he dont nead it lik i du. i told the rest uv em uv 
it 1 nite, an tha told me that i must remember that we wuz 
al alike, that tha made no diference a-tall. that evrybody 
wus jus as good as enybody els, if tha belongd to us. tha 
said that nobody culd brag and bio uv how much beter 
tha wuz nor enybody els, an that the rich kudent git 
moar nor les than the poor fur be'en sik. we, sed tha, r all 




The Drunkard's Play with Children. 23 

ekel and the same, an all belong tu each other, then i wuz 
glad, i tole mi wif nex da that i wuz as gud as Mr. Slikens, 
an that the nex time we boath got sik i'de pruve it tu her. 
she got auful mad, an sed she dident thank us fur be'en all 
alike, she sed "if u r all alike then u r like that Jak Gun- 
nil what izent rite smart; an like Hen Sikler who gits drunk 
an whips his wif; an like that old Mr. Goodos whu cheeted 
mi bruther out uv his farm; an like that old salune keeper 
whu maid our Charlie a drunkard; an like profeser Buschief 
whu is a free luver, an whu has got 2 wimen sumwhair, an 
wants to mary our Kate." now i tel yu i dident kno what 
tu sa. i never thot uv that afore, i reely felt like as if i 
wuz goin to be sik long nuf to git 20 dollers. but mi wif 
she sed, "i'm a shaimed uv miself to think u'd belong to a 
lodg whair sich meen foaks belongs, an then be tole u r al 
alike, there is them men what tended them ingersoul leck- 
ters in the theater; and holered an jus maid fun uv the church 
uv which mi muther wuz a member, an there is them foaks 
what jined the liberell unions at the hall, and hired a man 
to kum evry weak jus to mak fun uv the church, tha all 
belong to yure lodge, them men what rode bi our hous las 
sunda a yipen an holeren, a go'en to the sunda piknik, tha 
al belongs to yure lodg. them bruers and distil ers, and 
moar as 9 salune keepers belongs to yure lodg. then ther 
is the Yants, an the Turlens an the Waldogs, why evry 1 uv 
em is regler infiddels. tha hait the bible an God, an r al 
time maken out that the preechers r the meenest foaks what 
is. tha dont beleeve in heven nor in hell, nor in nuthen gud. 
now tha al belong to yure lodg, an if u haint no beter than 
tha, an u r all jus alike, which maks you az meen as them, 
then i'em a goen to take the children an go whair nobody '11 
kno whair we r. i'em a shaimed to hav u in sich kumpany, 
an then hav foaks pint at me an sa, 'ther goes Mrs. Sim.'" 

i tel yu that gav me trubel sich as i never had afore, i 
dident kno what to sa. What she sed wuz tru, an i knu 
she knowd it. i told her we had a bible in our lodg, an 
that it wuz alwais open at the same plais; an that we praid; 
an that i had herd the prair so often that i knowd it by 



24 Borachio's Bo-Peep; or, 

hart; an that we sung oads fur hims an sams; an talked 
about evrything we kud think uv. i tole her i had be- 
longed tu it 11 yeer, an never herd em talk about religun. i 
told her that mor an 14 times in them 11 yeers persons had 
tu sit down and shut up who wanted tu talk about religun. 
that tha, that is, us, wudent alow it. that it wuz a improper 
debait. but she kried, an kried, an got the childern al to 
krien, an kum within 1 uvagiten me tu kri tu; but i kep 
frum it by thin ken uv how i wuz inisherated. i tel you 
things luked kinder as if we wuz not al alike, i tole her if 
she wud keep stil i wud git her a nue hat the nex time i got 
sik. o, deer, how mad she got. i left, an went to wher tha 
wuz selen speks, tu see if i kudent git a pare wich wud help 
me tu see things in a difrent lite, and found a pare, but 
hadent nuff muney tu git em without giten sik agen, an i 
dident kno how the ole woman wud like tu be bothered 
a giten things tu eat fur them who the lodg wud send tu sit 
down with me a whoal week, so i giv it up and went hoam 
and tole her i wuz boss here. she sed nuthen, but nex 
mornin i notised that the ole kat and i wuz al the census 
taker kud find in the hous. the rest uv us wuz gone, an the 
kat luked as if he dident like it a bit. so i reported mi 
trubel tu the lodg, and tha advized me tu hang on tu it an 
tha wud sune git me a divorce an anuther wife, an if i dide 
tha wud giv me jis sich a funeral as tha gav Mr. Pusher, the 
salune keeper, an Mr. Berderson, the metherdis preecher. 
last fall, tha tole me that sumbody had bin talken tu Mrs. 
Sim, an turnen her agenst us. that sum one had giv her 
xpose buks to reed, an had tole her lize bout us. I tole 
them i gest sum one had, kos i notised she haled me by nik 
naims, sich as fides, an aron, an mozus, and sum others, 
tha tole me tu be stil about it, and i am goen tu be. as long 
as i kin keap sik i'm all rite, but when i'm well mi inkum is 
rather skars. now, i tel u, any lodg that'll du what mi lodg 
has dun, sufered, an alowed, is good enuf fur me tu liv in. 
i'm just as gud as Slikens, the banker, an he has tu hear it 
sed. i never xpected sich honer wud kum tu me. i'm 
sory mi wife an children tuk sich a liken to Kansas; but 



The Drunkard's Play with Children. 25 

then tha left while i wuz in the lodg helpin to inisherate 
Profeser Tung, the man who has bin given the people them 
great leckters on the "bible not inspired." i think he is 
smarter than sum who is in the lodg. they sa ther is sum 
gud thiugs in the kampment degrees, an if ther is, i'm goen 
tu git em. i ask em 1 nite tu giv me sum in site intu what 
tha had in the kampment, but tha had so much tu tend tu 
that nite tha had no time fur misellainyous biznez, and ad- 
journed afore tha got tu it. 

if the things in it aint no better than tha had when i 
kamped in Kansas, in eighteen hundred an 42, then i'll 
only take jis nuff uv it tu keep a be'en like Slikens, the 
banker. 

if mi wif had not emigrated tu Kansas, tha wud hav maid 
a rebekah uv her afore long, then she'd bin jis as gud as 
Mrs. Slikens, the banker's wif. i think she'll rew it afore 
long, i kno she wud hait tu be kalled rebekah. i gave up 
mi naim. tha used tu kail me Elk Sim, now tha kail me 
Mr. Sim, an Bruther Sim, an sumtimes Kurnel Sim, the 
poundmaster. tha kail mi wif Gemima Susan Abagial 
Sim; but rebekah wudn't taik so long tu sa when i git in a 
hurry, deer me, what trubel i hav got. but then i'll stik 
tu the lodg fur the gud it has dun me duren the 11 yeers uv 
mi sikness ever now an then, an fur the hoaps uv giten sich 
a funeral as tha gav Mr. Pusher, the salune keeper, an Mr. 
Berderson, the metherdis preeher, las fall. 

On. — Mr. Replicant, it is getting somewhat late, and you 
are perhaps becoming tired. Could not Mr. Confrere and 
myself come into to-morrow evening and have further con- 
versation with you? 

Con. — I should like to hear you give your views upon the 
lodges ; i. e., upon, as you said, those features of it that bear 
upon temperance. 

Rep. — I am not tired, gentlemen; but if you prefer, will 
be pleased to see you to-morrow evening. 

Con. — I am acquainted with Rev. Mr. H , the pastor 

of the Church, who is a member of several lodges 

in this city, and an active worker in the I. O. G. T. I can- 



26 Borachio's Bo-Peep; or, 

not say that he would consent to come, but in case he should, 
would his coming meet your appropal? 

Sim. — yes, i kno him. he's one uv us; I helped tu inisher- 
ate him. 

Eep. — It would afford me great pleasure to have him pres- 
ent at our next interview. 

Con. — In case he comes, I should like you to make your 
theological argument to him. 

Eep. — Very good. Tell him to come in and spend an 
evening with me in social investigation. 

On. — Our hats, please. 

Con. — Good night. I hope I have not wearied you. 

On. — Good night. Much obliged to you for the informa- 
tion you have given us this evening. 

Sim. — deer me, how i du wish mi wif an children hadent 
taken such a noshun tu Kansas. 

Rep.— Good night, gentlemen. 



CHAPTER III. 

replicant's interview with ondit, CONFRERE, REV. MR. 

H , AND SIMPLE SIM. 

[It is Wednesday evening. Mr. Replicant is expecting a signal 
at the door every moment. At last it is heard, but upon opening 
the door, Mr. Sim alone is there, and is invited in.~\ 

Rep. — Did you see anything of the gentlemen who were 
present last evening? 

Sim. — i dident. i gess Mr. Konfrere is putty mad. i talkd 
plane tu him goen home las nite. he sed i had no bizniz tu 
tel what i did. i em an od feler, an so is he, but i em not 
a gud templer. 

I" The door bell is heard again, and upon opening, three gentle- 
men appear. They are kindly received and seated in the parlor. ~\ 



The Drunkard's Play with Children. 27 

Con. — Mr. Replicant, I take pleasure in inviting you to 

shake hands with Rev. Mr. H , pastor of the church 

of this city. 

Sim. — how du u du, Mr. H ? i kno u. 

H. — (Somewhat dashed.) I am quite well. 

Sim. — dont u rikoleckt me? I helpt to inisherate u intu 
our lodg. i thot sum uv them ingersoul infiddels wuld split 
their sides lafen at u when we got u all fixed up tu kum in 
mung us. i gess u thot u wuz goen tu git kilt, dident u? 

Con. — Hum, hum. This is a delightful evening. 

H. — Very pleasant indeed. We have had a delighful 
Spring. 

Sim. — Mr. H , did u kno mi wif, Mrs. Gemima Susan 

Abigial Sims? she tuk quite noshun tu- 

Con. — Mr. Replicant, I have given the Rev. Mr. H a 

synopsis of our conversation of last evening, and would be 
pleased to have you state to him your objections to joining 
the Good Templars. 

Rep. — Do you wish me to repeat the argument of the 
Grand Lodge of the I. O. G. T.? 

Con. — No, sir; but your arguments against the lodges 
relating to the temperance question. 

H. — I learn you are very much opposed to the Good Temp- 
lars, and I cannot account for it upon any grounds of secrecy. 

Rep. — I have a pen drawing here which I will show you, 
to give you some idea of the territory I shall canvass, to 
show that my position is the only safe one to occupy. 

H. — What is your position? 

Rep. — I hold that moral reform should be commensurate with 
moral evil; and that any society claiming to be moral reformers, 
and offering, either by inferential teaching, or by lessons direct, 
any flattering hopes whatever of a peaceful immortality, must of 
necessity employ the means that Jesus the Christ of God instituted. 
But before entering upon rny argument further, allow me 
to exhibit you the drawing. 



28 



Borachio's Bo-Peep; or, 




mmmiiimmw 



The Drunkard's Play with Children. 29 

Con. — What do you wish to show by it? 

Rep. — Notice, here upon the left a large church edifice. 
In front of it are two men and a boy. There is a road pass- 
ing the church and leading into the interior. To the right 
of it you will notice a fence, several panels of which have 
been taken away. Do you see that man about to pass 
through from the main road to that saloon? You see there 
is a man just entering it. Above it, in prominent charac- 
ters, is a word freighted with all the woes of a drunkard, 
and the sorrows of his unfortunate family. In front of it is 
" The Vortex," in which 60,000 are annually engulfed and 
lost. 

They frequent that saloon until their manhood is lost, 
their reason dethroned, their hard earnings expended, and 
their hopes blasted. They either soon die in a fit of alcohol- 
ism or commit suicide. This saloon has many patrons. It 
has many branch houses also, all of which are doing an 
immense business. They have above 1,500,000 tipplers, and 
600,000 drunkards. They have made 800,000 paupers and 
30,000 maniacs and idiots. 1,000,000 of orphans are sadly 
lingering at the threshhold of Charity, to be taken in and 
cared for by a merciful, or, as is too often the case, by a 
merciless populace. 

Con. — Why do not the churches provide for them? 

Rep. — I will answer your question presently. 

Con.— Why not answer it now? 

Rep. — I promise you to answer it satisfactorily when I 
reach that feature of the argument. But lest your anxiety 
deaden the perceptives of your mind so as to lose all that I 
desire to precede the answer to your question, I will give 
you one answer which you may hold as collateral security 
until I shall announce to you that I am about to consider 
the elevation, amelioration, and salvation of the victims of 
an immoral life. It is this: The lodges have monopolized 
our " healthy" male membership, and exhausted our treas- 
ure to such an extent that our relief committees have not 
the wherewithal with which to supply all who apply for help. 

Con. — Very well. Go on with your explanation. 



30 Borachio's Bo-Peep; or, 

Rep. — Upon the banks of this fearful cesspool 450 persons 
annually take their own lives, and, in death's last agonies, 
roll down over the rugged steep and sink from sight in the 
seething liquid, never to rise again. Between that saloon 
bar and the "vortex" 700 murders are committed during 
the same period of time. No human tongue nor rapid pen 
shall ever be able to recount the deeds of horror, incited by 
the demon who dwells in that brothel. To the right of the 
saloon will be seen another church edifice, and near it a hall, 
which is occupied by the Good Templars. And here, near 
this tree, is a gong dancer, and also a young couple. The 
latter have concluded to "just waltz around a little." It is 
not "lodge night," and if that old woman has a right to 
dance, they certainly need have no fears. Now let us exam- 
ine the vortex. You see there are three men in it. The 
one near us here is in to his waist ; the one above him ,to his 
armpits, and the one to their left, where he cannot touch 
bottom. The first is the tippler; the second the moderate 
drinker, and the third the besotted drunkard. Each and all 
of these should be saved. The boy to the left is looking at 
the men before him. Their example is his ensample. It is 
church night, but they spurn the services of God's house. 
They belong to several lodges; and upon to-morrow evening 
one of them holds forth, and they must not exhaust all of 
their energies in church going, lest it weary them. They 
belong to the Good Templars, and are enjoying a smoke on 
the outside, while the good people inside the church are 
praying. The boy is greatly discouraged. He has seen a 
great deal of the misery of intemperance. His mother died 
of a broken heart, caused through his father's neglect and 
cruelty. His father fell into the vortex last Winter, and was 
lost. Poor boy! He has been over to the Good Templars' 
Hall several times, and wanted to join, but they told him 
that "none under twelve years of age" could be admitted. 
That excluded him. He then told the two men with whom 
he is now conversing, that since they would not let him join, 
they ought to go with him to the church. They ask him 
why he did not join the " Band of Hope." " Why," said the 



The Drunkard's Play with Children. 31 

boy, " I do belong to them, but I am tired of going. They 
keep a saying the same thing over and over, until us boys is 
all tired of it. Then the person who has my class does not 
belong to church. My mother told me so many things about 
Jesus, and about Heaven, that I would like to have some one 
talk to me like she did. The night she died, she told me to 
bring Nellie, my little sister, and Ralphie, the baby — he was 
only a year old — to her bed. I put the baby in her left arm, 
where she said she wanted him, and lifted little Nellie upon 
the bed near her pillow. I then sat down by her side, and 
she told me what to do. She told me to be kind to Nellie 
and the baby. Then she told me and Nellie of Jesus, and 
said that He loved all good children. I never saw her so 
happy. She commenced singing, then, and sang a verse she 
taught Nellie and me to sing while she lay sick. It goes 
this way : 

'I will sing you a song of that beautiful land, 

The far-away home of the soul; 
Where no storms ever beat on the glittering strand, 
And the years of eternity roll.' 

She told us to be good children, and to pray to God every 
night and morning. I promised her never to drink, and to 
always be a good boy, and that just as soon as I got to where 
there was church and Sunday school I would go and take 
Nellie with me; and that when Ralphie got large enough to 
go, Aunt Mary, who took us home after mother died, would 
get him ready, and I would take him along, too. Mother 
then kissed Nellie and me, and said God would help Aunt 
Mary to take care of us. Then she kissed the, baby, and 
said, 'O God, take care of my poor little children.' Then 
she looked at us again, and said, 'Good by, Nellie. Good 
by, Willie. Good by, auntie. Good by, my dear baby.' 
Then Aunt Mary said, ' Your mamma is now dead.' When 
they buried her she had such a sweet smile on her face that 
Aunt Mary said she looked happier than she ever saw her 
look when she was alive. [By this time the company were 
in tears.] After awhile I joined the Band of Hope, and 
thought they would talk to me about Jesus, like my mother 



32 Borachio's Bo-Peep; or, 

did. She used to tell me how good He was to every one He 
met, and how He could save bad men. She said He could 
help them when no one else could do anything for them; 
and that He would help all who would come to Him. I wish 
my father had gone and had Jesus help him, but he is dead. 
They don't talk that way in the Band of Hope, and so I 
thought I would join the Good Templars. I asked one of 
them if I might, and he said I was too young; and so I 
thought I would come away over here and have you take 
me in this church. My mother said she joined when she 
was nine years old. I am eleven, and I think they will take 
me in." 

Con. — What do you mean by that man throwing that rope 
to the man in the vortex ? 

Rep. — Why, that is a member of the Sons of Temperance. 
He is trying to get that man to take hold of it and let him 
pull him out. But you see the man is fast in the dead sands 
below, and knows that if he is drawn to one side or the other 
he will be drowned. His only hope is to be lifted up and 
out at once. The other man is a Good Templar. He has a 
platform built out a few feet from the shore, and has a rope 
attached to an Egyptian gigyard, and has made several efforts 
to draw the man out of the cesspool, but his rope is either 
not a good one, or his task a difficult one, for at each effort 
the rope breaks, and the man sinks deeper in the sands. 
Now let me show you another picture. It is that of 
Boracliio- 




The Drunkard's Play with Children. 33 

What shall we do for this man? 

H. — Why, that is plain enough. We must get him to, 

to . Well, I should try to persuade him to quit drinking 

and lead a sober life. 

Con. — I would get him into the lodge the very first thing; 
then I would try to keep him from drinking. 

Rep. — I would lead the unfortunate victim to the feet of 
Him who "receiveth sinners/' and who would "clothe" him 
and put him in his " right mind." 

On. — If God can save such a man, then I say that his case 
should be submitted to Him at once. 

H. — You have not yet explained the meaning of that little 
boat in the vortex. 

Rep. — I have not forgotten it. It is the " Life Boat." It 
is the only boat that can safely enter the vortex. That life 
boat starts from the church, and hastens to the man who is 
in the greatest danger, first, and after getting him in they 
go after the other two men, and bring them all in safety to 
the shore. You see that cable towing process comes short 
of helping the poor fellow to get out. [Just then Confrere 

gave Rev. H a wink.] That gigyard process, you see, 

is an invention of some child, and no one who in reality 
desires to save those who are in the vortex would slight the 
provision the Great Saviour has made to rescue those who 
are in such imminent danger. 

Con. — Do you not think that the Good Templars save 
some from drinking ? 

Rep. — You have had one answer to that question already. 
Let me ask you to tell me how many do you know who were 
saved through the lodge? 

Con. — Numbers of them. 

Rep. — What church did they join? 

Con. — That has nothing to do with it. 

Rep. — Why, that is not the way you argued with Mr. 
Ondit. He does not drink, but you told him that he ought 
to join the lodge. You said that he would be counted on 
the other side if he did not. 

Con. — Well, the lodge is fighting the whisky traffic, and 
we ought to know where men stand. 



34 Borachio's Bo-Peep; or, 

Rep. — The Church is fighting sin of every grade, of which 
intemperance is but one; and we claim that every saved 
man should come over and help us, so that we may know 
where they stand. Now tell me, please, how many do you 
know to have been thus saved? 

Con. — There is one man in our lodge now who joined the 
church last Winter. 

Rep. — Do you refer to Mr. J . 

Con. — I do. 

Rep. — Why, you mistake; he was converted at the 

Church in December. I was present the night the Lord 
Jesus lifted his feet upon the Rock, and put the "new song 
in his mouth." 

Con. — The Good Templars got him under their influence 
first. 

Rep. — Yes, so did Satan; but it did not relieve him 
at all. 

Con. — Do you not think it made him more thoughtful? 

Rep. — I will tell you what he said the night God saved 
him. As nearly as I can remember his words were these: 
"I now feel that I am saved. I know it. Bless God! No 
one can deny it. I never felt so happy in my life. I have 
been a great sinner. I was a drunkard. I joined the Good 
Templars, and broke my pledge. If I have been reobligated 
once I have been a hundred times. I didn't believe in relig- 
ion, nor in the Bible; but I thought that Christians were all 
hypocrites. I didn't believe in anything. Why, I was one 
of the wickedest men in this city. But I do praise God that 
ever I came to the meeting. I heard Mr. Hallenbeck tell 
how God saved him when he was drinking, and I just 
cried like a child. I came next night, and heard Mr. Whit- 
tle, and he told how 

4 None but Jesus could do helpless sinners good.' 

He made it so plain that I just took the ground of a sinner, 
and believed in Jesus, and all at once my load of sin was 
gone. It is only a few minutes ago, right here in this seat, 
while they were singing 



The Drunkard's Play with Children. 85 

'Nothing but the blood of Jesus.' 

I know that none but Jesus could ever help me. The lodge 
couldn't save me, or I would have been saved long ago; but 
Jesus, praise His name! could and did save me." He has 
stood firm for seven months, and says that he has no desire 
to drink, nor to swear. That God has taken the taste away 
from him, and that he is so thankful that he cannot do 
enough now to express his gratitude. 

Con. — Do you not think that he just quit drinking through 
his own good resolution. 

H. — I think his experience shows that his own resolutions 
did not deliver him from his habits. 

Con. — Do not you think that a person can keep from 
drinking and other bad habits without joining the church? 

Rep. — Yes; but according to your logic that would not 
excuse him from being identified with the church. You 
want Mr. Ondit to join the lodge, although he can remain a 
sober man without it. 

Con. — I do not believe in the church as much as some do. 

Rep. — So I have observed since first I met you. Are you 
not the father of a young and intelligent family of children? 
And do not you encourage them to go to Sunday School and 
to church ? 

Con. — There are so many hypocrites in the church that I 
don't want my children to go near it. I will not put my 
foot inside the door of any church that has so much hypoc- 
risy in it. 

Rep. — Are there not several hypocrites in the several 
Jodges to which you belong? The I. O. G. T. lodge to 
which you belong here has a few of that nauseous class in it, 
have they not ? 

Con. — I have no right to judge them. 

Rep. — You have passed judgment, ex cathedra, upon church 
members. And since you allow your children to belong to 
the Good Templars here, many of whose members are not 
only hypocrites, but avowed infidels, it seems strange to me 
that you should withhold them from the church. 



36 Borachio's Bo-Peep; or, 

H. — It is a lamentable fact that the church and Sunday 
School are slighted, and that there ought to be a change. 
I think the children ought to be encouraged to attend 
the 

Sim. — that's rite, mr. preecher, giv it tu em now, kaus u 
got him in a tite plais, and u kin talk religun tu him hear al 
you want tu ; but if we wuz in our lodg, u kno, u kudent 
talk religun, kaus it wuld be a improper debait. 

Rep. — Before I fold this pen drawing I will call your 
attention to one other feature of it. We have approached 
the scene from the left, which brings the large church edifice 
first into view. Let me tell you that if the counsels given 
from the sacred stand in that church had been heeded, sev- 
eral scenes which appear further on would not form a part in 
the picture. The good people of that church have raised 
their voices against sin of every grade for many years before 
the lodge hall on the opposite side was built. The church 
between the saloon and the hall is a mission church, and is 
sustained by the one on this side. That little church has a 
great battle to fight. The saloon gets up a great many 
dances, and nearly all of the Good Templars will dance, you 
know, and they go to the saloon dance. Then the members 
of the Good Templars get up dances, on what they call their 
"own hook," and the patrons of the lodge also patronize their 
dances. They hate each other on " lodge nights," but at 
other times are on good terms with each other. 

That church has urged the Good Templars again and 
again to separate themselves from the society of the patrons 
of that saloon. They argue, that instead of their being able' 
to counteract the influences of the saloon against the church, 
they were making it a more formidable enemy of the church. 
The pastor also exhorted all who desired the complete over- 
throw of the rum fiend to "come up to the help of the 
Lord against the mighty." The community in which the 
church is located is greatly given to picnics on Sunday, and 
social entertainments nearly every night in the week. They 
have all kinds of social gatherings, and have enlisted so 
many of the young people in them, that their highest ambi- 



The Drunkard's Play with Children. 37 

tiou seems to be the acquirement of vocal and literary 
accomplishments. They have but little or no time nor taste 
for anything else, especially anything which requires that 
they " be spiritually minded." The young people absent 
themselves from the church, except when there are no social 
entertainments elsewhere. Several of the churches #in the 
adjoining community have thought it necessary to adopt 
"church socials," "festivals," "concerts," (a la mode), in 
cantatory style, and with histrionic displays, " grab bags." 
" fish ponds," " prize sacks," " post offices," " waiter girls," 
"twenty-five cents a kiss," theaters in disguise; and, remem- 
ber, all this "for the benefit of their churches." They say 
that if they do not provide social entertainments for the 
young people, they will go where they can have them. 
This little church here has been preaching the " blessed 
Gospel of the Son of God," " warning every man, and 
teaching every man iu all wisdom ; that they might present 
every man perfect in Christ Jesus." They have been plead- 
ing with professors, saying: "Let every one that nameth 
the name of Christ depart from iniquity." " He that will be 
the friend of this world is the enemy of God." "Ye that 
are risen with Christ seek those things which are above." 
" Withdraw thyself from every brother that walketh dis- 
orderly." "Have no fellowship with the unfruitful works 
of darkness, but rather reprove them." 

H. — What denomination is it that holds forth in that 
church ? 

Rep. — They are known as Die Vereinigten Brilder in Christo. 

On. — Is that not the same society you named on last 
evening as having legislated against the liquor traffic 
in 1821? 

Rep. — It is the same. They have also legislated against 
all moral obliquity — " against all ungodliness and worldli- 
ness." 

Con. — Do you believe in preventing all social gatherings 
of the people? 

Rep. — ]N"o, sir. It is written, " Forsake not the assem- 
bling of yourselves together as the manner of some is." 



38 Borachio's Bo-Peep; or, 

Con. — Do you object to social conversation at your gath- 
erings upon subjects of interest ? 

Rep. — We encourage it; for it is written, "They that 
feared the Lord spake often one to another, and the Lord 
harkened and heard it, and a book of remembrance was 
written for them that feared the Lord and that thought upon 
His name." 

On. — Are the quotations you have just given taken from 
the Bible? 

Rep. — Yes, they are. Shall I turn to them for you? 

On. — It is not necessary at all. I simply inquired to sat- 
isfy myself that you were quoting Scripture ? 

Rep. — I should like very much to turn to them, because 
their applicability and force are more plainly seen by- their 
connection with the context. 

H. — Any one who reads the Bible will not question their 
meaning. 



CHAPTER IV. 

THE INVESTIGATION AND DISCUSSION CONTINUES — THE SECRECY 
QUESTION TESTED — THE GODDESS TEMPERANCE DEFILED BY 
A TERPSICHOREAN AND BACCHANALIAN MISCREANT — BACCHA- 
TERPSI, THE VIRTUE WRECKER — ONDIT INDIGNANT — SIMPLE 
SIM AROUSED — LODGE, SALOON & CO.'s MAN-TRAP — THE 
I. 0. G. T. ORPHAN ASYLUM AND THE DANCE QUESTION RE- 
VIEWED — " WHERE IS MY WANDERING BOY TO-NIGHT?" — 
REPLICANT REPLIES. 

Rep. — Gentlemen, you have urged me to tell you why I 
object to the lodges. My reticence in not immediately 
replying to your question was occasioned by a prudential 
prescience, (i. e., prudence before known), which I learned 
after several individual experiences, by coming in contact 
with lodge defenders. The most unkindly and ungentle- 
manly insinuations have been pronounced by lips claiming 



The Drunkard's Plat with Children. 39 

to be moved by impulses of "charity." Now, gentlemen, I 
have no desire to be invective. We are men. Rev. Mr. 

H is an embassador of Christ. You, Mr. Confrere, and 

also Mr. Ondit, do not profess to be Christians. 

On. — I do not, but I believe in it. 

Con. — I believe that if a man lives up to what he believes 
to be right, and does the best he can, he will not be 
cast out. 

H. — Mr. Confrere, you occupy a dangerous position, 
and, as an " embassador of Christ, I beseech you to be 
reconciled to God." 

Rep. — Gentlemen, I am pleased with the pertinent reply 
that this minister of the Gospel has made to the hopeless 
grounds of salvation set forth in the creed of Mr. Con- 
frere. Are you all ready to hear me now upon the lodge 
question ? 

On. — I think we are not only ready but anxious to hear 
you. 

Rep. — To be ready implies a great deal more than you may 
have contemplated in your answer. There are those who 
" have ears to hear, but they hear not, and eyes to see, but 
they see not." If you are ready to hear me, you have 
opened your hearts to receive what is reasonable and just, 
whether it be against you or not. 

Con. — Are you going to expose the secrets of the lodges ? 

Rep. — I can complete the argument appertaining to 
temperance and the lodge without it, and shall not expose 
your sworn secrets, unless any of you should begin to call 
me ignorant of the subject matter I am treating. I have 
been called an " ignoramus," a "fool," a "perjured wretch," 
an " unprincipled hobby rider," quite often, and have had 
occasion to pull on the " cable tow," and shoot an arrow 
from their " quiver " into their " record," and tell them of 
the staleness of their " wampum," and " exhort them to 
depart from iniquity;" but shall not recapitulate, unless 
you make me to abhor a vacuum of ignorance relative to 
these things. 

But, again, when you say you are ready, you must have 



40 Borachio's Bo-Peep: or, 

dismissed all bias from your minds and hearts, and must be 
ready to hear me in my argument from the premises I shall 
assume. You, and each of you, may have premises upon 
which you have framed your arguments; and which, even 
according to the most established principles of logic, are 
correct, and so, also, the conclusions you have arrived at 
through your process of reasoning. The solution of very 
many of the most difficult questions of moral reform, as well 
as those of political reform, cannot be safely determined by 
cross questioning the incidentals of the argument. We have 
a right to examine the correctness and the justice of the 
premises laid down upon which are to be built the edifice of 
logic and of reason, in the labyrinths of which alone shall 
be found the sequel of the relevancy or the irrelevancy of 
the premises we have assumed, and of the arguments, we 
have offered to maintain our position and to defend our 
cause. You have no right to form conclusions from my 
arguments, either -pro or con, unless you also either admit 
or deny my premises. You may examine the parity exist- 
ing between the two, and correct what you perceive to be 
irrelevant. You may show that the propositions of the 
sillogism are incorrect, and that, therefore, the conclusions 
arrived at are not according to the rules of logic. Where 
incompatibility of these foundation principles, through which 
alone we are able to reason correctly, exists, we cannot 
arrive at the same conclusions, however candid we may 
be, or whatever of intellectual research we may have at 
our command. The position I hold has not been taken 
without thought. I know there are men of culture upon 
the side of the lodges as well as against them. Some of the 
most learned men of our day are in them, and are defending 
them. 

Con. — Does not that prove them in the right ? 

Rep. — ISTo, sir. Some of the most learned statesmen and 
soldiers were in the Confederate army, but with all of their 
wealth of learning and of skill they were told that they were 
in the wrong. 

Con. — But are there not good men in the lodges? How 
do you meet that argument? 



The Drunkard's Play with Children. 41 

On. — Are you satisfied that he gave you au unanswerable 
reply to your former question ? 

Con. — Not unless he answers this question with equal 
pertinence. 

Rep. — The answer to your question is, that good men 
have left the lodges, and pronounce them " evil in their 
nature and tendency." 

Con. — No good man would come out of a lodge and then 
say anything against it. 

Rep. — Now apply the rule of reasoning to the statement 
you have just made, and you will see that you " make feath- 
ers heavier than lead." 

Con. — How so ? 

Rep. — You have not qualified the lodge. Suppose we 
were to apply your manner of reasoning to the Klu Klux 
Klan. Let us try it : " No good man would come out of the 
Klu Klux Klan and then say anything against it." Would 
you have me infer that the man who has sworn to affiliate 
with that Klan, and work to advance its interests, is a good 
man? and that to oppose the inimical operations of that 
lodge against the Federal Government by any of its mem- 
bers would be an indication of his loss of manhood, of 
patriotism, and of integrity ? Do you want me to infer that 
the exposition made of the Jesse James gang (lodge) by 
the Ford Brothers, and encouraged by Governor Crittenden, 
of Missouri, is an indication that their act is a legal breach of 
trust, chargeable with perjury? 

Con. — The lodges to which I belong are not like the Klu 
Klux Klan. They are worthy institutions. 

Rep. — Yes; so said they when the Government sent out 
detectives to pry into their secrets. 

Con. — I claim that when a man enters a lodge of his own 
free will, and promises to never reveal its secrets, he perjures 
himself if he afterward exposes it. 

Rep. — The Government offered large rewards to those 
who would expose the Klan. 

Con. — Well, the Government had no they the 

Government was . I mean the Klan was trying to 

break down the Government. 



42 Borachio's Bo-Pebp; or, 

Rep. — I infer, then, that you admit in this one instance 
at least, those who exposed the inner workings of the Klan 
did not perjure themselves, but did the Government good 
service. 

Con. — The detectives may have ferretted out the secrets 
themselves. 

Rep. — How could they, unless some one or more of the 
members first committed perjury in revealing what they 
had sworn forever to conceal? How is it? Did they legal- 
ize their act by honoring their fealty to the Federal Gov- 
ernment, or did the " forever " lose its force by limitation 
of contract ? 

Con. — Well, what of it, any way ? I do not see any use to 
be so exacting in demanding an opinion of me on all of the 
little points that may come up in this discussion. 

Rep. — "It is the little foxes that spoil the vines." 

On. — I think, Mr. Confrere, the point of your logic has 
broken off sooner than you expected. Did it not? 

Cox. — (Excited.) I have no confidence in these men who 
go around prying into other people's business. 

Sim. — nor i. mi wif an childern never wuld hav gone tu 
Kansas if i kud hav kep her frum knoen ail the meen foaks 
what belong to us. 

Rep. — Let me state your proposition correctly, Mr. Con- 
frere : " No good man would remain in an evil lodge, know- 
ino- it to be such; but would come out of it and warn 
others, 'lest their feet also be taken.'" 

Cox. — Why, that's all mixed. 

r ep . — Let me explain, please. Mr. Finney is a good 
man. He knows his lodge to be evil. Therefore, Mr. 
Finney must warn others, " lest their feet also be taken." 

Qox. — How do you know our lodges to be evil ? 

j> EP . — Thank you, thank you, for this your latest and 
most comprehensive question. You see it affords me an 
opportunity to give you an answer based upon premises that 
are compatible with the' premise you have in your mind, and 
which so plainly exhibits itself in your interrogation. I 
would, however, prefer to converse with you in the absence 
of these gentlemen. 



The Drunkard's Plat with Children. 43 

On. — I should like to hear the discussion. 

Rep. — I do not wish to enter the argument only as it re- 
lates to the subject of temperance. 

On. — Why not discuss the whole matter now. I see that 
you have not cared to enter the secrecy argument; but then 
the censure I know you to have received for taking position 
against the lodge is unjust, and you certainly are able to vin- 
dicate any position your candid convictions may prompt 
you to take. 

Rep. — Gentlemen, let me say that it is not my purpose to 
expose the secrets of these lodges at this time. That is 
to say, the things that are not to be made known " upon 
anything movable or immovable, wmereby the," et ccetera. 
There are so many evils connected with the lodges that may 
be .seen by simply looking steadfastly at what they have on 
exhibition, that we need not look further than through the 
show cases on the outside, 

To see what is, and what within must be. 

On. — Did you not say you would give us a view of the 
"Order" by drawing the curtains to one side? 

Rep. — I did; and you will see what was meant by it 
presently. 

H. — Does your objection to the I. O. Gr. T. apply with the 
same weight, if any, to the several other lodges of the city ? 

Rep. — Large bodies, and quite often several little ones put 
together, are weighed avoirdupois, while lesser bodies, al- 
though very fine, go by troy weight. [H mortified.] 

Con. — So the finer the lodge the less number of ounces 
will be required to make up a pound! [Applause.] 

Rep. — Yes, fine things are ordinarily of very little weight. 
[Laughter.] There are, however, the " weightier matters of 
the law," which must not be slighted. Now, in answer to 
the question of Mr. Confrere as to how I know the lodges 
to be evil, let me answer that I have already shown that the 
Independent Order of Good Templars, so far as their pledge 
is concerned, is a farce, and is " easily puffed up," and does 
"behave itself unseemly." Let me notice one of its sins. 



44 Borachio's Bo-Peep; or, 

It is the sin of dancing. You have it in your mind to say 
that the Grand Lodge has settled that question. 

Con. — Of course they have. 

Rep. — How have they settled it? 

Con. — They have forbidden it. 

Rep. — You mistake ; they have not forbidden it. The 
Grand Lodge decided that " the practice of dancing in lodge 
rooms on lodge meeting nights is not justifiable on the part 
of the lodges. — 5th Session, page 25." "Subordinate lodges 
shall not take any action relating; thereto, or associate the 
name of the order with balls or dancing parties of any kind. 
17th Session, page 83." " Our order has nothing to do with 
dancing — no more than the public schools; it is not organ- 
ized for that purpose. The order does not pass upon the 
question whether dancing is right or wrong ; it simply lets 
dancing alone, and insists that dancing let the order alone. 
The rule is fixed that our order cannot have a dance in its 
lodge rooms on the night of the lodge meetings, or in any 
way be a party to a dance. We have invited to our lodges 
Christian people, whose church rules forbid dancing, and we 
have no right to compromise them in the matter. Common 
politeness alone forbids our offending the conscience of any. 
No rule of our order is more clearly settled by our Grand 
Lodge, and we should all yield a cheerful obedience thereto. 
If a lodge persists in violating this established rule, the rem- 
edy is immediate arrest of its charter. — 20th session, page 
95." [See Const. I. O. G. T., Cal., 1882, page 67.] 

H. — You see it is a settled matter. You will not now, 
therefore, attempt to associate the evils of dancing with the 
order any longer. 

Rep. — The matter is only made worse. 

H. — How can you make that appear? 

Rep. — Why, do not you see that dancing, which you 
denominate an "evil," is not prohibited, and the awful sin 
of mendacity is added by that ostensible decision of the 
Grand Lodge. Here, let me read an article from one of the 
leading papers of the Good Templars. It is an editorial 
upon the 



The Drunkard's Plat with Children. • 45 

"Good of the Order. 

"It cannot be too often repeated that oar lodges should be 
educational institutions. The lodge that takes in a new mem- 
ber and especially a young member, and does nothing to 
instruct and elevate that member, forgets its obligation to 
the order and to its membership. 

" It is of very great importance that a lodge should choose 
a high level for its exercises. Xot to put on sentimental and 
sunflower airs and frills, but rigorously to exclude everything 
which would not be tolerated in what is properly called 'good 
society.' And especially should all boisterous and rude and 
rowdy behavior, even in the fun of recess, be discounte- 
nanced. 

"No healthy honest Good Templar asks a lodge to sit sol- 
emnly with amis folded and hands crossed, and listen to a 
funeral dirge, wailed by some antiquated doleful member ; 
but those who have the kindest personal interest in the com- 
fort and welfare of the members, and who have the keenest 
desire that their meeting together in the lodge should be 
always an occasion of the purest and best enjoyment, do 
earnestly wish that the lodge exercises should be of such a 
grade and tone that no one can truly object to them as frivo- 
lous and stupid, or as having a lowering tendency upon the 
morals of the membership. 

"There is always something which ought to be amended 
when a temperance family, who love the cause and order, 
are uneasy and talk of withdrawing or do withdraw their 
children from the lodge because they fear the exercises and 
perhaps the dancing associations may have a demoralizing 
tendency upon them. Two excellent girls are now meditat- 
ing withdrawal from the order because of the dancing rela- 
tions that are encroaching upon their lodge, and it has not 
two members more worthy or estimable in every respect. 

"If dancing was a good thing to promote temperance; if 
we could point to a few lodges that grew up into large mem- 
bership and earnestness and usefulness in the cause because 
they started a dancing department; and if the dancing drove 
out the grogshop and was a helper for education and prohibi- 
tion, those who now oppose it would advocate strenuously a 
four hours' breakdown every night. 

"If dancing had never helped to break up a lodge; if it 
had never harmed a lodge, no matter whether we think it is 
a proper and moral amusement or not, there would be little 
opposition to it in the order. Most of us would say, 'people 
will dance and do dance somewhere, and the best place for 
them to dance is away from the grogshop.' 



46 Borachio's Bo-Peep; or, 

"But we never have to discuss the morality or propriety 
of the act of dancing. There is an immense number of peo- 
ple, church members and not church members, who object to 
the moral aspect of the dance — and because they do, we can 
count up a loag roll of dead lodges that would have been 
prosperous institutions, but dancing, and nothing else, killed 
them dead. And we can point to a roll of still living lodges 
which have adopted the dance movement, and every one of 
them is dead, or dying out fast, as to any interest or success- 
ful work in the cause of temperance. 

" A dancing lodge attracts an incoming membership, who 
don't care a rap for the temperance feature of the order, and 
it repels a better class, who would be earnest workers, from 
ever joining with a lodge, dancing or no dancing — and it 
drives out an outgoing better part of its own membership, 
who get disheartened and go out of the lodge and order. 
And when the lodge has only its dancers left, there is either 
no lodge any more, or it is no longer a temperance organiza- 
tion. 

" There is not a single instance of a lodge that was 'ever 
helped any way by a dance. Hundreds of lodges have tested 
the dance system, and found it fatal. If the whisky interest 
could get one successful apostle of dancing into every lodge, 
they could afford to give themselves no further uneasiness 
as to any harm ever to come to them from our order. — 
Rescue, May 25th, 1882." 

You will notice that the editor of the Rescue does not pro- 
nounce upon the moral character of the dance, but views it 
only in the light of the "good of the order." He does say 
that the "dancers" (who are already in the lodge) "don't 
care a rap for the temperance feature of the order." He 
speaks of dancing lodges being "dead," and says "dancing 
and nothing else killed them dead." He further states that 
he can point to a roll of still living lodges which have 
adopted the dance movement, and every one of them is 

DEAD." 

What paradoxical rhetoric that ! 
What strange antilogy here abounds ! 

" Killed them dead ! " " Living lodges dead ! " Why not turn 
these funny things end about? thusly: "Dead and killed." 
"Dead lodges living." 

Sim. — u r putty pertikuler bout yure talken. i'm shure 



The Drunkard's Play with Children. 47 

if it kild em tha wuz ded, and if sum uv em hadent kep 
alive how kud tha hev tole whu wuz ded? 

Con. — You know what he meant. I do not see any sense 
in criticising his manner of expression. 

On. — Do not you understand the editor to say that these 
dancers don't care a rap for temperance, and that they have 
broken up lodges — that they drive out a better class, and 
that they offend Christians who feel that their social deport- 
ment tends to demoralization? Is it not true that his lan- 
guage is somewhat difficult of understanding? Men claiming 
to be reformers should avoid tautology and ambiguity in both 
their words and in their ideas. 

Rep. — The editor does deserve credit for giving us an 
axiom upon the moral omnipotence of the dance. He says, 
"If the whisky interest could get one successful apostle of 
dancing into every lodge, they could afford to give themselves 
no further uneasiness as to any harm ever to come to them 
from our order." It is evident that the whisky interest has 
many "successful apostles of dancing" in every lodge I 
have ever known. See how the beautiful goddess, Tem- 
perance, is denied by the Bacchanalian and Terpsichorean 
miscreants. The Good Templars admit that the dance is 
an "evil," and, to ease their conscience, eject it from under 
their auspices as such, but not from their membership. 
They hold that their members can dance when and where 
they will, "except in lodge rooms on lodge nights." 

Con. — They have no right to dance on lodge nights. 

Rep. — What difference does it make whether they dance 
on lodge nights or on other nights? The Grand Lodge does 
not, however, forbid their going to some other hall on lodge 
nights to dance. Why do they thus reason and legislate? 
Is dancing an "evil?" Yes. Is drinking an "evil?" Yes. 
Then why not with equal propriety say, "no one shall be 
allowed to drink in a lodge room on lodge nights?" Have 
we a right to excuse an u evil" on any grounds? How dare 
we palliate what we condemn, and mitigate what we abhor? 
Con. — We may not all look at it from the same stand- 
point, and therefore may not arrive at the same conclusions 
concerning it. 



48 Borachio's Bo-Peep; or, 

Rep. — I propose to show why Christians should not be 
connected with an institution that allows its members to 
trample upon their most sacred and long cherished princi- 
ples and usages. I have but one standpoint to look from, 
and that is the one given by Him who, in speaking of the 
Christian's relation to the world, said that they should not 
be " conformed" to this world, but to be " transformed by 
the renewing of their minds." I will here show you a pen 
drawing of one of the agents the saloon has in the field to 
canvass the territory of your temperance lodges. Here he is. 




Baccha-Terpsi, the Virtue Wrecker. 

On.- — He is a lewd looking fellow. What is he doing? 

Rep. — He is dancing. He has a dancing school in the city, 
and some of the Good Templars send their children to him 
to take lessons in the fantastic art. One of the young misses 
came home lately and said to her mother, " Mamma, it is 
perfectly delightful to dance with Prof. Baccha-Terpsi. He 
dances with such graceful movements«that one cannot help 
admiring him. Then he has such a fine mustache, that I do 
really think he is handsome." 

Con.— We may not be able to keep people from dancing, 
but we can and we intend to keep them from dancing in the 
name of the lodge. 

Ref. — Are you acquainted with Prof. Baccha-Terpsi, the 
virtue wrecker? 

Con. — I have met him several times. 



The Drunk ard's Play with Children. 49 

Rep. — Is it true that you are sending two of your children 
to take lessons from him in dancing? 

Con. — I have let them go several times. You know 
young people will not be caged up. They must have some 
enjoyments. 

Rep. — But the professor has the reputation of being a vir- 
tue wrecker. 

Con. — My children are in no danger. They tell their 
mother everything that occurs, and she keeps them guarded 
continually. 

Rep. — Does she go with them to the dancing hall ? 

Con. — No. That is not necessary at all. 

Rep. — Do they attend any of the balls and parties in the 
community? 

Con. — They have attended several of late, but went with 
an escort. 

Rep. — Was the escort a Good Templar? 

Con. — I have two girls that attend dances; one of them 
goes with a Good Templar, the other with a gentleman who 
clerks in the store. 

Rep. — Do you know that they sell liquor in that store ? 

Con. — Yes; but then they have no bar. Nearly all stores 
sell liquor. 

Rep. — Do not you think your daughter is in danger by 
going with a liquor dealer? 

Con. — My girl knows her own business, and she don't 
thank any one for meddling in it. 

Rep. — I have here a sketch of a dancing party and an 
adjacent saloon; let me give you an explanation of it; and 
show you how the lodge and the saloon are allied to each 
other in their work of mischief. It is not intentional upon 
the part of the Good Templars in many instances, while in 
others they insist that " if dancing is immoral, they will 
seek more congenial quarters," where they may dance all 
they desire to. The sketch will give you an idea of the work 
Lodge, Saloon & Co. are doing to advance the interest of the 
latter. , t 

4 



50 



Bokachio's Bo-Peep; or, 




The Drunkard's Play with Children. 51 

On. — What do you wish to show by such a sketch as that ? 

Rep. — Last Tuesday night the Good Templars of held 

a lodge meeting in their hall, during which the subject of 
their annual picnic came up for consideration, and all who 
were present favored it because of the proceeds going to the 
orphans' asylum. They had a dance at the picnic, and 

Con. — You're mistaken; they did not have a dance at the 
picnic. 

Rep. — I may be mistaken. I stand corrected if I am; I 
shall be 

On. — You are not mistaken — they did dance at the picnic 
on that day. 

Con. — I do not deny that there was dancing ; but it was 
not a Good Templars' dance. 

Rep. — Do I understand you correctly — you say it was not 
a Good Templars' picnic ? 

Con. — I said it was not a Good Templars' dance. 

Rep. — Well, then, was it a bad Templars' dance? The 
man who got it up was a Good Templar. The committee on 
arrangements were Good Templars. The speakers were 
Good Templars. One half of the dancers were Good Tem- 
plars, and the " proceeds (were) for the benefit of the Good 
Templars' Home for Orphans." They charged one dollar 
for a ticket from this city to the place, and "Admission to 
Platform," and " Children, Half Price." They did not 
charge so much to desecrate the little ones, as they did the 
adult portion of that throng of terpsichorean sinners. 

Con. — The dancing was done on individual responsibility, 
and the lodge is not to blame for it. 

Rep. — Cain killed Abel on his individual responsibility, 
and told the Lord that he was not his "Brother's keeper;" 
but the Lord put a " mark on Cain," which he carried as a 
"sign of distress" when his " burdens were greater than he 
could bear." Would to God the moral tenderness of the 
lodge would lead it to repentance. And I pray that the 
voice of the "blood upon their garments" may "cry unto 
God," telling of their sins, until a thunder peal will reecho 
and shake their " temples of Moloch," in which they sacri- 



52 Borachio's Bo-Pbep; or, 

fice helpless children, and lead them to cry out, " We have 
sinned, O Lord; we. and all they that are with us." I tell 
you that you are responsible. The minister who opened 
that unholy dance with prayer, and those who danced after 
prayer, are " partakers of each other's sins." 

On. — You seem to know all about that affair. Were you 
present ? 

Rep. — T was not there. I never go to any place where the 
Immaculate Son of God would be grieved, and His Holy 
Spirit taken from me. "He that sinneth, is the servant of 
sin." " To whom ye yield yourselves servants to obey, his 
servants ye are whom you obey." Obedience to sin will 
eventuate in our utter ruin. " Lust, when it hath conceived, 
bringeth forth sin; and sin, when it is finished, bringeth 
forth death." I heard from the picnic, and also read the 
notice of it in the paper. They clothed their notice with 
words of unmistakable import. T have the paper here 
among my scraps somewhere. It reminds me of the sayings 
of an Italian reformer, who organized a religious society, 
which was made up of a little of Congregationalism, and a 
little of Presbyterianism, and a little of Methodism. He 
said it was indeed quite a mixture, but an excellent one, and 
has accomplished a great deal of good since it was first pro- 
jected. But look at this mixture. What a mess of incon- 
gruities! It starts out with temperance and ends with a 
dance. Look at it a moment. 

Prayer. May Pole Waltz. King Bibbler's Army. 
Address by Vanity Fashion, the Itinerating Fashion 
Plate Exhibitor. " Where is My Wandering Boy To- 
night?" An Appeal to the Christian People by One 
from a Far Away Country; Even an Alien prom God 
and a Stranger to Grace — An Acknowledged Eebel 
against the Government of God. Dancing by the Vir- 
gins (?) of Temperance with Baccha-Terpsi, the Virtue 
Wrecker. Benediction by the Chaplain. 

Now add Haggion Selah ! then gather up the wrecks of 
humanity made in one single day "for the benefit of the 
orphans at Vallejo." 



The Drunkard's Play with Children. 53 

Fourth Annual Grand 

PIIICINIl'tC= 



AND 



Temperance Celebration 
#t tammany wove, nmmiut, 

SATURDAY, APRIL 29th. 



The Order of Literary Exercises will be given as follows : 

First — Opening remarks by the President of the Day, Dr. P. H. 
McDonald, of San Francisco. 

Second — Prayer by the Chaplain, Rev. M. C. Briggs, of San 
Francisco. 

Third — Opening Ode, by the audience. 

Fourth — Oration, Hon. T. J. Long, of Kentucky. 

Fifth— Song (solo), " King Bibblers' Army," Mrs. M. E. Richard- 
son, G. Sup't J. W., I. O. G. T., of Murphy's, Calaveras County. 

Sixth— Address, Mrs. Emily Pitt Stevens, G. W. Y. T., I. O. G. T., 
of San Francisco. 

Seventh — Music, First Artillery Band, of Sacramento. 

Eighth — That beautiful pathetic song, "Where is my Wandering 
Boy To-night," Mrs. M. E. Richardson. 

Ninth — -.Dismissal of the audience to enjoy the usual festivities of 
the occasion, among which will be the 

CROWNING THE QUEEN OF MAY, 

In Costume, by the young ladies of Chrysopolis Lodge, I. O. G. T., 
of Woodland, with the honors to the May Queen, including the 
beautiful 

Ceremony of the May Pole Waltz. 



'MUSIC by the First Artillery Band of Sacramento and the 
Ellis Band of Woodland. 



A SPECIAL EXCURSION TRAIN will leave Sacramento at 
8:10 a. m. FARE— Round Trip (including platform), $1 ; Children 
under 14 years of age, Half Price. 



Proceeds for the benefit of the Good Templars' Home for Orphans. 

B. N. HOAG, Manager. 



54 Borachio's Bo-Peep; or, 

H. — There was a lady present who sang the pathetic song, 
"Where is my wandering boy to-night" with such tender- 
ness that many wept. I think it made its impression too ; 
and many a one will be led to think of a mother's anxiety 
for her wandering son. How could any child resist such 
anxious inquiry ? 

Rep. — Was the boy there while she sang it ? 

H. — It is only a song. But then I presume that it fitted 
many a case there, and led them to thinking. 

Rep. — You are undoubtedly aware that quite all of those 
who danced are wanderers ? If the orator of the day was 
not converted during the opening prayer of the chaplain, he 
must have heard, as it w r ere, the plaintive voice of his now 
sainted mother in that song. 

On. — Is he the same man who lectured here last week? 

Rep. — He is the man. You need not smile, Mr. H , 

he seems, at least, to be an obdurate transgressor of the law. 
And you, Mr. Confrere, I see are wearing frowns that seem 
to pain you. Ah ! now you smile. You. remind me of the 
editor who sat in his easy chair when a farmer entered his 
sanctum. The editor expected a usual going over; but upon 
looking saw the farmer appeared good natured. 

" The editor looked him square in the face, 
At first with a frown, then a smile took its place. v 

Con. — I am surprised to find a man of your intelligence 
continually trying to get everybody to come to your line of 
thinking. 

Rep. — Gentlemen, it is written, " If the watchman see the 
sword come and blow not the trumpet, and the people be 
not warned; if the sword come and take away any person 
from among them, he is taken away in his iniquity; but his 

BLOOD WILL I REQUIRE AT THE WATCHMAN'S HAND." I have UO 

" line of thinking " except the one laid down in the Word of 
God. I must not withhold the message God has given me 
for the people, nor in any way say less than the message 
contains. " If the trumpet give an uncertain sound, who 
shall prepare himself to battle." If my thinking is not 



The Drunkard's Play with Children. 



55 



what it ought to be, let it be corrected by the Word of God ; 
but not by an unsanctified man who claims that the guidings 
of the carnal mind are as safe as the leadings of the Holy 
Spirit. 

H. — I have often talked with Mr. Confrere about his iufi- 
del ideas; but he is incorrigible, and will not listen to the 
admonitions of his friends. 

Rep. — Mr. H , I have written a reply to the song you 

named, and shall be pleased to read it in alternate verse with 
its excellent original. 



" WHERE IS MY WANDERING BOY TO-NIGHT !" 

Where is niy wand'ring boy to-night, 

The boy of my tend'rest care. 
The boy that was once my joy and light, 

The child of my love and prayer? 

CHORUS. 

0, where is my boy to-night? 
0, where is my boy to-night? 
My heart o'erflows, for I love him, he 

knows — 
0, where is my boy to-night? 

Once he was pure as the morning dew, 
As he knelt at his mother's knee ; 

No face was so bright, no heart more true, 
And none was so sweet as he. 

0, could I see you now, my boy, 

As fair as in olden time, 
When prattle and smile made home a joy, 

And life was a merry chime ! 

Go for my wand'ring boy to-night : 
Go, search for him where you will : 

But bring him to me with all his blight, 
And tell him I love him still. 



REPLICANT S REPLY. 

He's at a Templar's dance to-night, 
Away from your tend'rest care ; 

"The boy that was onceyour joy and light, 
The child of your love and prayer." 

CHORUS. 

0, pray for your boy to-night ; 
0, pray for your boy to-night ; 
Let the heart overflow, that your love he 

may know, 
0, pray for your boy to-night. * 

He's not now pure as morning dew, 
For he spurns your bended knee ; 

His face is so sad — his heart less true, 
He's no more pure and free. 

Your heart would break to see your boy, 
As he whirls with the whirling train, 

As he shuns those things that gave you joy, 
And does what gives you pain. 

You'll find your wand'ring boy to-night 
At the templar's dancing hall ; 

'Twas the lodge that drew him from your 
sight, 
'Twas the lodere that led to his fall." 



He went from lodge to festive dance ; 

From the dance to the billiard hall, 
Till he heard at last, in sinful trance, 

The siren's sensual call. 

He's lost to heart and home to-night, 
As he sits in the scorner's seat ; 

He's lost ! 0, he's lost I this dark, sad night, 
While his fate we here repeat, 

Let prayer be made for those to-night, 

Who have led your boy astray ; 
0, pray for the words of life and light, 

To lead in a better way. 



0, pray for the lodge to-night; 

0, pray for the lodge to-night ; 

Let your heart o'erflow, that your grief he may know 

0, pray for the lodge to-night. 



56 Borachio's Bo-Peep; or, 

Con. — There may be some truth in your reply; but these 
poets have a large scope — often too large, and put forth 
things that would not be admitted in prose composition. 

On. — So you think the lodge ruined that boy, do you ? 

Rep. — The dance first aroused his animal propensities, 
and created a desire for enjoyment of such a character as 
finally led to his ruin. Let me read you a quotation from 
a letter written to Rev. G. C. Chandler, D. D., of Forest 
Grove, Oregon, at his own request, and who, to give it pub- 
licity, assisted the writer of the letter to publish the tract I 
hold in hand, and from which I am about to read. It is 
from the pen of James A. Wirth, of Oregon City, under date 
of March, 1874 : 



"The dance, as ordinarily practiced, is an exhibition — 
an exhibition of female forms and finery. It is the ally of 
the tyrant, fashion. It is at the dance, especially, that fash- 
ion gathers and exhibits its extravagancies and follies, and 
glories in the worship of its slaves. Hence it has a tendency 
to encourage lavish expenditure. A desire to appear in 
style at su$fei parties, and to give as elegant parties in return, 
is but natural. Yet to do so costs money, and leads multi- 
tudes into the so common sin and misery of living above 
their means. And being an exhibition, the dance is also 
responsible to a great extent for the tendency on the part 
of young ladies to turn themselves into mere shows. How 
many are there who apparently think they have attained 
the chief end of life, when by ornamenting, distorting, and 
overloading their poor bodies, they have succeeded in at- 
tracting the attentions and compliments of a set of brainless 
fops ! Of such material the dance is one of the chief manu- 
facturers, even as it is the arena where the flirt contests for 
the prize. * * Over exertion, hot air, and dust, and light 
dresses within; the raw midnight air without; then lan- 
guor, headache, colds, etc., are a summary of the excellen- 
cies and effects of the dance as a physical exercise. 

"And lastly, when viewed from a moral standpoint, the 
influence of the common social (?) dance must be evil. 
The excited condition of the body, the music, the postures, 
the dress, the close contact of the sexes, must have a ten- 
dency, to say the least, to brush away that delicate sense of 
modesty, innate, more especially in woman. Unless the party 
be extraordinarily select, men who under other circumstances 



The Drunkard's Play with Children. 57 

would be kept at a good distance, have the privilege to 
handle ladies in a way that would be resented as an insult 
anywhere but at the dance. "What a grand field this amuse- 
ment furnishes for the libertine! Who can tell how many a 
fall from virtue may have had its origin at the dance? Per- 
haps it is this very indiscriminate contact of the sexes that 
imparts to the dance its peculiar charm and flavor. Let the 
sexes be separated, and the dance will die of languor. 
Amusements are fascinating in -proportion to their ability to min- 
ister to the sinful propensities of human nature, without falling 
into the domain of criminality. This I state as an axiom; and 
this, I think, explains the immense popularity of card play- 
ing and the dance." 



Dr. Theodore Cuyler asks this pertinent question: "What 
fills the ball room, the gaming house, and the drinking sa- 
loon? The passions for stimulation — the thirst for gross 
enjoyment by those who never taste higher and purer ones. 
A healthy heart no more craves such indulgence than a 
healthy man requires the stimulation of alcohol." He adds: 
"Many of the popular dances — especially those styled ' round 
dances' — bring the two sexes into indelicate familiarities 
with each other. They stimulate animal appetites. Both 
the style of dress and the movements of the dance have a 
tendency to fire the passions. Again, the devotees of the 
ball room keep late hours, and indulge in midnight convivial- 
ities of the table. The preparations for an evening assem- 
bly commonly consume a great deal of money, time, and 
thought; the participation in the gayeties of the dancing 
hall leads to frivolity and passionate excitement; the recol- 
lections of the scenes leaves no pure satisfactions in a healthy 
mind. The ball room is no place to make a young person 
healthier, happier or purer; on the contrary, it has corrupted 
tens of thousands, and driven from their minds every serious 
thought. When Christians are invited or importuned to 
give their countenance to an amusement so stimulating to 
passion, extravagance and frivolity, let them take counsel of 
conscience and the Word of God; and they are always right 
when they can so act as to satisfy both. In disputed ques- 
tions," the Christian's place is on the safe side. There are 



58 Borachio's Bo-Peep; or, 

assuredly quite enough innocent recreations open to a fol- 
lower of Christ without venturing over the line into amuse- 
ments that are dangerous or even doubtful" 

Rev. O. A. Hills once said, that Lot's danger was, that he 
pitched his tent "toward Sodom" of which it is written, "the 
men of Sodom were wicked and sinners before the Lord 
exceedingly.'- He further says: "It is easy to detect the 
blunting of the moral sense in Lot." * * * "The city 
was to him what Pope says of vice : 

'It is a monster of so frightful mien, 
That to be dreaded, needs but to be seen; 
But seen too oft, familiar with her face, 
We first endure, then pity, then embrace.'" 

Con. — Preachers, as a general thing, do not favor dancing. 

Rep. — I have several extracts from Good Templars' author- 
ity I want to read you now relating to the matter of dancing. 
The lodge has in it those who disapprove it, and who say 
some pointed things in favor of reformation in that line. 

H. — I am not in favor of dancing at all, but am at a loss 
to know how we may bring about a change. I have seen 
the evil of it for years. It has a demoralizing tendency. It 
feeds the very propensities that gave it its field of operation; 
they enlarge more and more until they so completely arouse 
the carnal propensities as to be satisfied with nothing less 
than to encroach and feed upon innocence, and make a total 
wreck of virtue. 

Con. — Do you mean to say that my daughters are being 
demoralized by the dance ; and that they are less respectable 
because they attend dances? 

H. — Your daughters may be above encroachment. There 
are those who resent the vile suggestions of the dance, and 
of those who go to it for no other purpose but to prey upon 
the innocent and unsuspecting. Your daughters may be an 
exception to the rule which the experience of close observa- 
tion has given us. 

Rep. — Dr. Herrick Johnson, of Chicago, has made some 
startling revelations upon the social problem, or rather, 
social corruption, which apply to the dance with equal fit- 



The Drunkard's Play with Children. 59 

ness. He says: " Can you take purity with you, and expect 
it to be unsoiled by the uncleanness? Good citizens, can we 
afford to patronize and sanction at all, even on clean nights, 
an institution that thus and so often allows and encourages 
the production of plays that are simply satanic attempts to 
tear down every sacred shield about our homes and hearts? 
Doesn't it seem an awful puerility to be noisily criticising 
the 'indelicacy of speech' in the attack on this foulness of 
filth, when speech should be burning with a righteous indig- 
nation against the foulness itself? Doesn't it seem a miser- 
able and wicked 'cant of culture' to be prating of ' not 
thinking evil ' when that culture can see no impurity in the 
play-house comparable with the impurity that same culture 
'thinks' into the literary style of the arraigner of the play- 
house?" 

H. — The Doctor reasons correctly. 

Rep. — It is evident that when persons take pleasure in 
such amusements, they have lost all desire to imitate virtue. 
That class are never found giving testimony to the power of 
the Gospel unto Salvation. They are not the frequenters of 
the prayer and class room, and are not heard to say "I was 
glad when they said unto me, let us go into the house of the 
Lord." Let me read you an extract taken from the Good 
Templars' Gem, official organ of the order of the State of 
New York, John B. Jackson, editor, under date of April, 
1881. He is discussing the social problem. He says: 

"We believe that more injury has been wrought upon the 
order through the curtailment of the young people's amuse- 
ments than many are willing to admit. Unless you have life 
and amusements in your lodges they will surely die. Nobody 
cares to go to prayer meeting every night in the week. Our 
young members will dance, and if you tell them that danc- 
ing is immoral, they will seek more congenial quarters. 
Besides, how many of our lodges have to act hypocritically 
through this decision of the highest authorities. How 
many socials and dancing parties are continually being held 
really under the auspices of the order, but ostensibly under 
some other name. Is there any sense in thus compelling 
members to cloak and conceal their real designs? How 
many lodges would we have in New York to-day were it not 
for the sisters' socials? 



60 Borachio's Bo-Peep; or, 

"We do not advocate dancing in lodge rooms, nor would 
we advise lodges to appoint committees to arrange for balls 
and parties, for we certainly have members who are unalter- 
ably opposed to dancing, and their opinions must be respected. 
But what we do not oppose, because of our convictions, is 
the placing a ban upon dancing upon the ground of immor- 
ality. If it is immoral, then incorporate it in your obliga- 
tion. Let the initiate know at the start that dancing is 
placed upon a par with drunkenness and profanity." 

On. — He writes as though he favored it. 
Rep. — Mr. G. H. Wheeler replied, and said : 

"It seems to me that you are taking a position entirely 
antagonistic to the well established principles of our order, 
and set up a standard which has ruined many a lodge in 
this and other States, and caused the Good Templars to bow 
their heads with shame." 

The reply of Mr. Wheeler alluded also somewhat to an 
editorial in the March number of the Gem, of which the 
article in the April number was a continuation. The editor 
had been somewhat personal in his remarks. The Board 
of Managers also took action with reference to the editorials 
of Brother Jackson, and on March 25th, 1881, these mana- 
gers of the Grand Lodge of New York, in a resolution, 
said: "We sincerely regret the inadvertency which has per- 
mitted the appearance in the March number of the official 
organ of the Grand Lodge of New York of an article treat- 
ing these improprieties with lightness, and even with ap- 
proval, and denominating as 'fogies' and 'fanatics' the great 
body of our faithful membership who do not believe therein." 

Qn. — Why, they are considerably divided about it, are 
they not? 

Rep. — They have some grand good men among them, 
but they are members of some of the churches, and are 
wasting a great deal of energy contending with those "who 
do not like to retain God in their knowledge." 

Con. — Do you really think they are wasting their energies 
in so good a cause ? 



The Drunkard's Play with Children. 61 

Rep. — They waste them in vague disputations and fruit- 
less efforts "to equally yoke unequal and incompatible ele- 
ments together in this crusade against a mighty foe. It is 
the Church that Jesus Christ founded upon the Rock of 
Ages, against which the gates of hell shall not prevail. 
There is no other power upon earth that shall ever be able 
to contend with and overcome the combined forces of a 
determined enemy. Jesus commissioned her preachers to 
"do the work of evangelists and give full proof of their 
ministry." I think we have no right to subtract an iota 
from the revealed plans of God, through which He pro- 
poses to accomplish the work He has undertaken through 
His Son. 

Con. — Why do you object to anj one doing good besides 
the church ? 

Rep. — I do not object to doing good, but to doing evil. 
You see when societies, i. e , would-be reforming institu- 
tions, make propositions to save their followers from sin, 
and, for its accomplishment make use of means that entirely 
ignore the atonement of Christ, they do evil in the sight of 
God. Their flattery greatly endangers the salvation of their 
adherents. 

Con. — I cannot see how that can be. 

Rep. — Their lifeless ceremonial becomes the substitute of 
religion, and the deluded victims of Satan's guile are led to 
think they have a sure hope of eternal life. The Scriptures 
give an account of a class who "compass land and sea to 
make one proselyte; and when he is made, is two fold 
greater the child of hell than they themselves are." One 
quack doctor can do his patient more injury in a single 
week, or even in a day, than a whole fraternity of medical 
experts can ever overcome. The Apostle Paul once met a 
man who perverted the way God had instituted to save 
men, and said unto him, " 0, full of all subtlety and mis- 
chief, thou child of the devil, thou enemy of all righteous- 
ness, wilt thou not cease to pervert the right ways of the 
Lord?" 

On. — I think you have all forgotten that we were to have 
an explanation of the sketch I have here. 



62 Borachio's Bo-Peep; or, 

Rep. — I have not forgotten my promise, and will now give 
the explanation. Notice here to the left several couples 
dancing. The man nearest the left margin in the sketch 
is Prof. Baccha-Terpsi. He is one of the leading characters 
of the dance. You see he is now dancing with a young 
lady who is a member of the Good Templars lodge. He 
helped to get up the dance, and had his plans well laid. 
It is a matter of great rejoicing to him that the Grand 
Lodge of the I. 0. G. T. has forbidden the subordinate 
lodges to get up dances under their auspices. 

On. — It seems to me he would not rejoice over such a 
decision, but rather seek to thwart their efforts to lessen the 
number who attend his dances. 

Rep. — When the lodges get up their dances they gener- 
ally complete their own arangements without going out- 
side to get help. The Professor was invited to attend their 
dances, but he had no voice in managing the affairs, only as 
he exerted his personal influence over those who prized his 
knowledge in the " light fantastic." But since the Good 
Templars get up their dances upon individual responsibility, 
he has full control over them, and arranges them to suit the 
object of his ambition. While the lodge, as a whole, got 
them up, he found it more difficult to exert an influence 
over them; but since the dance has been committed to the 
most careless members of the lodge — to those " who," says 
the Rescue, "don't care a rap for temperance," and who care 
only to have a gay time, he has no difficulty at all to accom- 
plish his mischievous work. 

On. — Who is this Baccha-Terpsi you have so much to say 
about? 

Rep.— -His father's name is Bacchus; i. e., " the god 
of wine." His mother's name is Terpsichore. She is the 
" Muse who presided over choral song and the dance." He 
is interested in a large firm of common sinners, who have 
him employed as their agent. He holds membership in 
nearly all of the lodges in the city, and is continually busy 
in working up the interests of his employers. He does not 
find much opposition in the lodges to which he belongs, and 



The Drunkard's Play with Children. 63 

has arranged to get nearly all of the brewers, the distillers, 
and the wholesale and retail liquor dealers into the several 
lodges, and into the cherished habit of holding annual 
dances, and numerous other dances, until he has revolu- 
tionized society from Plymouth Rock to Cape Mendocino, 
and even persuaded some modern communicants to step 
out and dance when he pipes. Not long since he secured a 
room in the Masonic Temple, in this city, for a member of 
the liquor firm, and had it "refitted" by a Good Templar 
" for the sale of intoxicating drinks." By close attention 
on lodge nights you can hear them singing in the 
I. O. G. T. lodge— 

"Come rally 'round our banner, 
Come help us in this fight." 

When passing the Masonic Temple you can hear them 

singing — 

"Hail! Masonry Divine. 
Light of the ages, shine!" 

While the voices " above" were still mingling in vesper 
accents, and becoming more and more faint, until at last 
they died away, and all was still, then there came an 
answer from the saloon in the northeast corner of the 
Temple "below" — first, a liquid gurgle, then, the tinkling 
glasses touched to others, with, " Here's to you, gen'el- 
men, (hie) and to the lodge (hie) 'above' that rented 
us the (hie) s'loon 'below.'" 

The liquor dealers finally arranged to set a trap on the 
platforms and in the halls of the Good Templars' dances, to 
catch the unsuspecting. You see here in the front a bar, 
and behind it the bartender. The man with that dog is a 
regular toper, and that dog is his only friend when he is 
drunk. You will also notice a chain fastened to the coun- 
ter, near the bartender. It reaches over to where they are 
dancing on that platform. There is a man-trap attached to 
the end of the chain, and one of the dancers has stepped 
into it and is being drawn into the saloon by one of the 
assistants of the liquor firm. The dance was gotten up by 



64 Borachio's Bo-Peep; or, 

several Good Templars, who were assisted by Baccha- 
Terpsi. His band furnished the music, and quite a number 
of his helpers were stationed about in the grove to take 
notes. Prof. Terpsi kept the floor continually, and danced 
with above one half of the Good Templar women who were 
present. The goddess Temperance was there by common 
consent, and soon brought confusion and shame upon all 
who before prided in her virtue and her holy innocence. 
Fellows of the baser sort danced with her in the " round 
dance" whirl. Fellows with flasks concealed — with blood- 
shot eyes — with hatred in their hearts toward all who would 
attempt to suppress their traffic. They fairly chuckled while 
they whirled with Temperance, and boasted that virtue and 
vice were the friends of mirth and the conservators of the 
public good. The saloon and the lodge got up that dance, 
while the liquor firms set the trap which Baccha-Terpsi 
invented. One of the leading Good Templars advertised 
the dance in his paper, also the saloon, and the Professor's 
dancing school. The firm have arrangements with the 
paper to advertise all matters of interest relating to the 
saloon, and to their protective association. When the City 
Attorney of this city was urged to dismiss the Sunday Law 
cases before the Police Court, he stated among other reasons 
for doing so, that this paper had advised their dismissal. 

On. — Did I understand you to say that the manager of the 
paper that advertised these places of sin and shame, and that 
favored dismissal of the Sunday cases is a Good Templar ? 

K-ep. — Yes, sir. He is a member of their lodge here. He 
is also a member of the Board of Trustees of the Good Tem- 
plars' Home for Orphans, near Vallejo, California. 

On. — Does his paper visit the Home? 

Rep. — Yes, it is taken in the Home. 

On. — I am getting indignant. I never knew of so much 
corruption to exist in any one society. Mr. Confrere, I 
shall set you down either as a stupid tool of the lodge, or as 
the consummate confederate and friend of those who are 
seeking to destroy the innocent and unsuspecttng. I de- 
mand an explanation of you, sir. [Rising from his chair.] 



The Drunkard's Play with Children. 65 

Why did you misrepresent the I. O. G. T. to rne as you did ? 
You are a dangerous man in any community. 

Rep. — Mr. Ondit, do not get angry. Sit down until you 
hear me out. 

On. — I hope you have no more to add to the dark deeds 
of this intemperate institution. Had I joined them my 
daughters would no doubt have been ruined by Baccha- 
Terpsi, to whom the Grand Lodge has given full power to 
act, without, they say, involving them. I say shame on 
such an institution! Mr. Replicant, excuse me; I am 
stirred to the quick. Why do you not publicly make these 
things known? Think of the scores and hundreds that this 
bacchanalian miscreant leads astray during the Good Tem- 
plar festivities that are held to make the lodge popular. 
The dance in the grove you described, and the various 
exercises connected with it, were calculated to arouse young 
hearts, and lead them to enjoy whatever might be sug- 
gested. They were throwu into a mixed company, con- 
sisting of some of the very worst cases the community 
affords. There were men and women there that I would 
not allow to come into the presence of my children, much 

less to associate with them. And you, Rev. Mr. H ■, I 

am all the more astonished at your spirit of toleration. 
You ought to be busy leading the young people to God. 
You preach that "all unrighteousness is sin." Why 
don't you speak out against these things? No wonder the 
world can't see any difference between your church and 
themselves. You are ,so nearly like them that they often 
boast of how favorably they compare with you and your 
people. 

Sim. — i du not think u hav got a rite to talk like u du; u 
don't belong tu nuthen. u ain't no church member, an no 
lodg member, an nuthen. u kudent git in our lodg nohow, 
they'd black baul u. the church az wuld hav u in it wuld 
be kild ded, and eny living church that wuld take u in iz 
alreddy ded. u remind me uv a feller in mi lodg — u remem- 
ber him, Mr. H , u, also, Mr. Konfrere — that feller what iz 

al time talken that there is sumthing what otto be changed 
5 



66 Borachio's Bo-Peep; or, 

an he's got no sens, we, that iz, us, wil hav tu xpel him yit 
if he duzent kwit it sune. 

On. — If your lodges are anything like the Independent 
Order of Good Templars, then deliver me from ever joining 
in with any of them. 

Rep. — You ask me why I do not speak out against these 
things. I have done so, and for my service I have received 
just such pay as has manifested itself in part here, and such 
as I named several evenings ago. When a man sets his face 
against those who " use liberty as an occasion of the flesh, " 
he is brought under censure by all classes of sinners, from 
those who " walk in the counsels of the ungodly," to those 
who "stand in the way of sinners," and "sit in the seat of 
the scornful." 

Con. — You seem to think that these dances are unholy 
things, and that the young are in danger. I do not see that 
they have made my daughters any worse. 

Rep. — A man who is so dead to sense and sin as not to 
see the peril of his own children, is the subject of an 
impending danger which I pray God to revert, and that 
speedily. 

Con. — Do you blame the lodge for the dance and its evil 
tendencies? 

Rep. — The lodge that will not legislate against profanity, 
thereby winks at the taking of the name of the Lord 
in vain. 

Con. — We have legislated against all profanity, and would 
expel any one whom we knew to use profane language. 

Rep. — You have not legislated against dancing. The 
Grand Lodge has not committed itself as being against the 
practice of dancing; but "for the good of the order" will 
not allow it in " lodge rooms on lodge nights." The good 
of the order ought ever to include the good of each individ-^ 
ual of the order. The Grand Lodge says that the lodge 
must not in "any way be a party to a dance," but it allows 
its members to be the proprietors of the dance, and is there- 
fore responsible for it. Blackstone, the eminent juriscon- 
sult, says, " Quod fecit per alium, fecit per se" " What a man 



The Drunkard's Play with Children. 67 

does by another, he does by himself." I say that it is im- 
perative that the Grand Lodge, since they have entered the 
field as moral teachers, and moral reformers, see to it that 
the " Christian people, whose church rules forbid dancing," 
are not compromised in the dance. 

Con. — They are not compromised. 

On. — They are compromised. 

Con. — I tell you they are not. The Grand Lodge won't 
allow it. 

On. — They do allow their members to dance, and nearly 
all of their delegates dance themselves. I have been look- 
ing over a list of names, and find that they are in the 
majority, and dare not legislate against it, because it would 
interfere with their own views and practices. 

Rep. — I think that the Christian people who brought 
about the decision against dancing under the auspices of the 
lodge w r ould favor forbidding it entirely. "What do you think 
of it, Mr. H ? 

H. — I am fully persuaded they would. I have always 
opposed dancing, and the lodge to which I belong knows my 
views upon that matter. I have an extract here from the pen 
of Rev. J. S. Tomlinson, which meets my views upon drink- 
ing and dancing. He says : 

" As certain as the atmosphere around the thermometer 
at zero will freeze things, as certain as the wind in bellying 
the sail will drive the boat, so certain will dancing freeze 
the religious sentiments out of the soul; it will drive its 
devotee away from the church ; it is a wind that blows in 
that direction. * * * Alcohol is the 'spirit' of bever- 
ages. Take it out, and the young men of the land would as 
soon seek a beverage in the swill tub as in the saloon. So 
sex is the spirit of the dance. Take it away, and let the sexes 
dance separately, and dancing would shortly be out of fash- 
ion. Parlor dancing is dangerous. Tippling leads to drunk- 
enness, and parlor dancing leads to ungodly balls. Tip- 
pling and parlor dancing sow to the wind, and both reap 
the whirlwind. Put dancing in the crucible, apply the 
acids, weigh it, and the verdict of reason, morality, and 
religion is, 'Weighed in the balance and found wanting.'" 



68 Borachio's Bo-Peep; or, 

Rep. — Those are also my sentiments, and I do wish the 
lodge could see it as we do. Let me read yon what the 
A. O. U. W. are doing in the direction of solving the prob- 
lem of social evil among them. They do not seem to be 
ready to commit themselves upon the dance question; but 
are beginning to view the evils of drinking among their 
membership. In the report of their G. M. W., W. H. 
Barnes, which appeared in their official organ, The Pacific 
States Watchman, April 4th, 1882, he says : 

" I believe the A. 0. IT. W. is as free from drunkards as 
any association of like character in the world, and yet the 
general social customs of the day and age are surely sapping 
the vitality of many of our membership. Men have turned 
from stronger liquors to beer, flattering themselves that there 
is no danger in the cheap and seemingly harmless beverage, 
yet the fearful increase of kidney and liver diseases, and 
deaths from seemingly trifling hurts, are directly traceable 
to cheap beer. 

"A large proportion of our accidents aud suicides, intem- 
perance is directly responsible for, to say nothing of blasted 
reputations, broken homes, and mourning families. As 
long as men invite and encourage each other to drink, so 
long will the curse continue to afflict our race. We are 
very particular about evidences of consumption, heart dis- 
ease, what a man's parents died of, how the respiration and 
pulsation stands, but men propose and doctors indorse those 
who are known to be regular drinkers without scarcely a 
question, and if a man who is in the liquor business has his 
beneficiary certificate declined, because his examination 
shows that under the instructions of medical examiners, he 
ought to be rejected, a fiery protest is received, or a long 
argument made, or a numerously signed petition by every 
member of the lodge, asking that the decision be rescinded, 
as the applicant is 'such a good man.' Although, personally, 
I wish that no man ever drank a drop of any kind of liquor; 
although I know that the death rate among moderate drink- 
ers is largely in excess of that among total abstainers, yet I 
have never rejected an applicant simply from this cause, 
unless his medical examination showed him to be a dan- 
gerous risk, and his habits such as unfitted him for a place 
among us. 

" Standing here to-day as your Chief Executive, I say to 
you it is not consumption, heart disease, or Bright's disease 



The Drunkard's Plat with Children. 69 

that you need spend hours in debating how to guard against, 
but the great evil overshadowing all of these is liquor and 
beer drinking, which leads not only to all manner of disease, 
but also to accidents, suicides, and murders. 

"Solve this problem, and the rest is easy. I place more 
faith in the earnest aud fraternal efforts of man with man 
than I do in acts of legislation on this subject. If every Work- 
man will resolve that as far as he is concerned, hereafter, 
there shall be reform in this particular, and that he will do 
what he can to aid his brother, at least 15,000 men will be 
free from this evil, and there will be certainly 15,000 happy 
homes in California. Is it not worth the effort?" 

On. — I am glad to notice that Mr. H takes the posi- 
tion he does, but cannot see how he can be identified with an 
institution so full of corruption. 

Con.- — Why, may not he be able to reform its members by 
staying in it? 

On. — He might, if he would speak out against it as he 
ought. 

Rep. — He is not allowed to speak out as he ought. 

On. — Cannot he, as a minister of the Gospel, preach 
against it? I learn he is the Worthy Chaplain of the lodge; 
and do you mean to say that the chaplain is not allowed to 
speak out in the lodge? 

Rep. — He must remain within bounds. When the candi- 
dates are initiated he makes his speeches, but they are all 
written and printed in a book of order, so that what he says 
must and does always harmonize with Section 1, of Article 
IX, of their By-Laws. 

On. — What is the section ? Will you please read it? 

Rep. — "Xo subject of a religious or sectarian character 
shall be discussed in this lodge." 

Con. — That means doctrinal differences that may exist 
among members. 

Rep. — Suppose an Atheist wanted to join, and the chap- 
lain thought he could not properly answer the test question 
upon his belief in the existence of a personal God, what lib- 
erty has he to inquire into his case? 

Con. — Why, I should think he had the right to learn the 
facts in the case. 



70 Borachio's Bo-Peep; or, 

Rep. — The Grand Lodge [21st session, page 26] decided 
that "the declaration of non-belief in the existence of God 
must be tested by the answers of the candidate to the ques- 
tions found in the ritual." Now, you see, the ritual is very 
indefinite, and when an indefinite answer is given, the real 
belief of the initiate is not known. 

Con — How would you put the question? 

Rep. — " Bo you believe in God, the Creator of the world, 
and in Jesus Christ, His Son, and in the Holy Spirit? and 
that this triune God is to be worshipped and glorified?" I 
would add to it man's condition as a sinner and his need of 
" repentance toward God and faith toward the Lord Jesus 
Christ." 

Con. — You would make a church of it at once, and drive 
everybody out who would not subscribe to your creed. - 

Rep. — Any man who denies the Son of God, or the Holy 
Spirit, or the blood of the atonement, is anti-Christ, how- 
ever much or little of belief he may have in the Great Ruler 
of the world. 

On. — Do not the Good Templars believe in Jesus Christ 
and in the Holy Spirit? 

Rep. — They do not recognize Jesus as a Saviour, nor the 
Holy Spirit as the Convincer of sins and the Guide into all 
truth. 

Con. — They are not a religious institution, and do not 
pretend to adopt any creed by which to be governed. 

Rep. — They have a creed. They demand belief in the 
"existence of Almighty God, the Ruler and Governor of all 
things." Their chaplain says to the candidate, " I charge 
you to love God and keep his commandments." The P. C. 
T. exhorts him and says, "Abide with us. Here you are 
safe." Dr. Blanchard says, " He is received by prayer, is 
pledged before an altar, and is addressed as a Brother." 
He adds, " If this order is not professedly a religious organi- 
zation, it is difficult to conceive what would constitute one. 
But its religion is not the religion of Christ. The omission 
of Christ from its creed at the door is the omission of Chris- 
tianity from all beyond." 



The Drunkard's Plat with Children. 71 

On. — [Rising in an angry mood.] I can no longer suffer 
the inexcusable indignity of Mr. Confrere ; and I shall de- 
mand an explanation for treating me as he has. You had 
no business to do it! [Turning to Confrere.] Any man who 
would use his influence to secure membership for such an 
iniquitous lodge has "the poison of asps under his tongue." 
If you are ignorant of these abominations which have been 
shown here from your own authorities, you may have an 
excuse to offer, but if not, I demand an apology from you 
now and here. 

Rep. — Gentlemen, be calm. You can never come together 
by repulsion. If any one has occasion to feel hurt about 
this matter, would not you rather expect the frown upon 
my brow? I have endured much abuse for years from the 
lodges; and even since we have been arguing pro and con 
here, I have had several sarcastic thrusts given me by those 
who came to defend their fraternities. I have not been 
allowed at any one fime to proceed with my argument, but 
have been halted and asked to explain matters that had 
nothing to do with the subject at all. I turned aside in 
each instance, and answered their queries, lest they should 
afterwards report that they asked me questions I could not 
answer. I have allowed them to bring to the front what- 
ever seemed pertinent to them, however impertinent it 
appeared to me. 

Con. — Gentlemen, I have, as matter of course, taken sides 
against Mr. Replicant. When I first came in, I had consider- 
able prejudice in my heart. I could not see how any intelli- 
gent man could take the position he did ; and it was my 
purpose to explode his argument and put him to shame. 
But when I found that he manifested such an excellent 
spirit, and showed no disposition to say unreasonable things 
about the lodge, I concluded to manifest just enough of my 
combativeness to invite him into a hand-to-hand combat of 
words, and learn his grounds of objection and the relevancy 
of his proofs. I am frank to confess my ignorance; lam 
too near-sighted. It is with shame that I confess my utter 
ignorance of the harm the lodge was doing. I can now see 



72 Borachio's Bo-Peep; or, 

my mistake. You, Rev. Mr. H , [rising and taking 

him by the hand] have often invited me to bring my chil- 
dren to your Sunday School and to your church service; 
but I obstinately refused. I beg your pardon for doing as 
I have done. My feelings overcome me — I cannot now 
explain further. When Mr. Replicant read the reply to 
that beautiful and pathetic song, I thought my heart would 
break. I have a boy who is very wild. His mother is a 
Christian, and I know how she is grieved over his wayward- 
ness. I have often heard her pray for him. and for me, 
when she was not aware that I heard her. Excuse me; 
[weeping] I do owe you all an apology. 

H. — It is getting late, and I must be going home. I feel 
that I have been paid for coming in. There are, however, 
some things that I do not understand, and should be pleased 
to hear Mr. Replicant explain them at greater length and 
with more clearness than has appeared thus far in the con- 
sideration of this subject. 

Rep. — Since it is somewhat late, and you desire to hear 
me give my views further, you will please come in a little 
earlier to-morrow evening than you did this evening. 

H. — Do you know what I refer to? 

Rep. — Yes, sir ; I do. 

[ The company bid good night, and are off.~] 



CHAPTEE V. 

ON. MAKES AN APOLOGY REPLICANT REVIEWS THE GROUND OF 

ARGUMENTATION— HE ANSWERS NUMEROUS QUESTIONS — 
THE NOVENARIAN MAGNATE EXHIBITED — HIS HEADS EX- 
AMINED — DISSECTION OP BODY AND ANALYZATION OF BLOOD — 
LODGE CHARITY CONSIDERED — TEMPERANCE SPEECHES BY 
THE HEADS OF THE MAGNATE — MORE ANON — SIMPLE SIM 
COMES IN — MASKED TU RAID. 

[It is Thursday evening, eight o'clock. The company are 
all seated in Mr. Replicant 9 s parlor, except Simple Sim.'] 



The Drunkard's Play with Children. 73 

On. — Gentlemen, I am sorry that I allowed myself to 
become aroused last night. I beg your pardon. I am not a 
stranger to what is due from one gentleman to another; but 
having such an attachment for my family, and desiring 
their comfort and happiness as I do, led me to think of how 
I might have been the means of their ruin through the mis- 
representations of the lodge. I was myself, in part, to 
blame. I shall never again be influenced by any one belong- 
ing to a closed-door society. I can now see that where the 
inner workings are in secret, and the degree work still more 
secret, being kept from all except the degree brothers, there 
will be a difference in the source and extent of the informa- 
tion given, and also in the spirit in which it is given. 

Con. — I did not blame you for feeling as you did, after 
hearing so many things against the Good Templars. In 
fact, I knew that there were very many things practiced 
among us which are not right, and I have called attention to 
them several times in open lodge, but there were those pres- 
ent who differed with me, and so to avoid strife I submitted 
to their opinions. 

Rep. — Do you think you did right in the presence of the 
young people who were there to fall in with whatever the 
majority decided to do? Your own children were influ- 
enced by your submission to wrong doing. 

Con. — I did wrong. I know I did the very thing I should 
not have done. I shall never repeat it. 

On. — You ought to make an open statement of your pres- 
ent convictions to the lodge, ought you not ? 

Con. — I would only be laughed at if I did. I will let the 
past be past, and take the right side in the future. 

On. — Very good; but you will find that they will remind 
you that you are unusually unyielding, and you will not be 
able to avoid making an explanation of your rigid position. 
Will you be firm to your present convictions ? 

Con. — Nothing shall ever again be able to cause me to 
remain passive when matters come up which involve moral 
character. 

Rep. — Gentlemen, I am now ready to give you a brief 



74 Borachio's Bo-Peep; or, 

review of our conversation, and especially of the various 
points that I promised to speak of in their place. It has 
already been stated by Mr. Ondit, that his objections to the 
Good Templars were that they were too much involved with 
other issues that made them repulsive to the good sense of 
very many of the most prominent citizens of the community. 
I have already stated that any society claiming to be moral 
reformers, and therefor anticipating a peaceful immortality, 
must incorporate the atonement in their creed. The vague- 
ness of their efforts, their vices, and their sins have been 
shown — their pompous show and empty and foolish forms of 
worship. You have all admitted more than I immediately 
asked you to admit. It has also been shown that while the 
Good Templars preach total abstinence and legal prohibition, 
they tolerate what they ostensibly coudemn, and orienly 
encourage what they privately forbid. 

Con. — What do you mean by openly encouraging what 
they privately forbid? 

Rep. — They openly encourage prohibition, but privately 
forbid its discussion in their lodges. 

Con. — I still do not understand you. Please explain. 

Rep. — I have reference to Section 1 of Article IX of their 
By-Laws, viz: "JSTo subject of a political party character 
shall be discussed in this lodge." 

Con. — That need not prevent discussing political subjects 
independently of political parties. 

Rep. — Did you ever hear of a political party without poli- 
tics in it; or of politics without a political party? They are 
scarcely found separately. The Good Templars have entered 
the political arena and declared in favor of prohibition, and 
when they discuss it in the lodge, they do unavoidably favor 
the party which adopts their plank on temperance. 

Con. — Do you object to prohibition? 

Rep. — I do not. I favor it with all my heart, and will cast 
my vote in its favor. 

H. — Then why do you object to the Good Templars' posi- 
tion? 

Rep. — It is their inconsistency I object to. They are go- 



The Drunkard's Play with Children. 75 

ing into party politics, and at the same time forbid "political 
party subjects" to be discussed in the very place where it 
ought to be agitated at every gathering. 

H. — Excuse me, I did not see your point before. 

Con. — Well, well, who ever heard of such sickly nonsense. 
I can now better understand why you, Mr. Replicant, thought 
their whole lodge service to be a children's play of " bo-peep" 
and, "Simon says, thumbs up!" 

Rep. — The same thing applies to their "religious idea." 
They claim to be somewhat religious, but say, "No subject 
of a religious character shall be discussed in this lodge." 

Con. — You know t*hat men and women of different creeds 
join in the temperance movement, and that to allow religious 
discussion in the lodge would break it up. 

Rep. — If that is the reason the lodge assigns for not allow- 
ing it, then the various doctrinal differences peculiar to the 
orthodox denominations of the land must be inimical to and 
destructive of the object and aim of the churches. Are not 
the religious societies prospering? 

Con. — We simply mean that they are not to discuss their 
differences in the lodge. 

Rep. — You mistake. You forbid " subjects of a religious 
and sectarian character" to be discussed in the lodge. The 
"sectarian subjects" relate to the doctrinal differences that 
exist between the churches; but the "religious subjects" 
strike at the foundation of our Holy Christianity. The 
Atonement, Redemption, Justification, Sanctification, etc., 
are religious subjects, and to forbid them is to close your 
doors against the Church of the Living God. It is equal to 
saying, "Let us break their bands asunder, and cast away 
their cords from us." Isaiah says, "Let the wicked forsake 
his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; and let 
him return unto the Lord, and He will have mercy upon 
him; and to our God for He will abundantly pardon." But 
the lodge says, "Let the wicked drunkard forsake his cup, 
and retain his wicked thoughts, and turn into the lodge 
where ALL religious and sectarian discussion is forbidden. 
Let the infidel come. Invite the Spiritualist, the Materialist, 



76 Borachio's Bo-Peep; or, 

the Free Lover, the Mohammedan, the Turk and the Jew. 
Let them all come in. Also the unbelievers of every grade, 
who only need to acknowledge a Unitarian belief in God. 
Invite the Swedenborgians, the Liberal Unions, the Masons, 
the Odd Fellows, and all of the fraternities in. Tell them 
that their faith and practice will never be questioned, and 
that their ' non-belief in the existence of God must be tested by the 
answers of the candidate to the question found in the ritual.' 
Then invite the Latitudinarians, and tell your guests that 
while their religious and sectarian views have vast differences 
when contrasted, yet they SHALL, every one, be protected 
by the lodge. 'Woolen and linen' SHALL be put together. 
The 'ox' SHALL 'plow with the ass.' 'Light' SHALL 
'have communion with darkness.' 'Righteousness' SHALL 
'have fellowship with unrighteousness.' 'Christ' SHALL 
'have concord with Belial.' 'He that believeth,' SHALL 
'have part with infidels,' and 'the temple of God' SHALL 
'have agreement with idols.' Tell them they need never be 
separate from these. They never need 'to come out from 
among them, and be a separate people.'" What say you to 
that? Nature teaches us that opposite elements either neu- 
tralize or else destroy each other; and Divine Revelation, 
corroborated by human experience, shows us that Christ and 
Belial have no part with each other. The very elements 
that make the distinctions that exist between the individuals 
of the various societies, are, of themselves, the strongest 
proofs why their amalgamation should not be attempted. 
Then I do positively object to being yoked with such a class 
of persons by solemn affirmations, the force of which cannot 
be equally binding, from the fact that both candor and con- 
viction have their root in the heart, and are valued more or 
less as the reverence of the individual toward God is great 
or small. When you bind a good man to an evil one, as 
they do in these lodges, and then say to the good man that 
he shall not be allowed to use his religious influence upon 
that man by teaching the way of life and salvation, you just 
simply yield the palm to him, and thereby bring religion 
into disrepute, and also sanction the very spirit against which 



The Drunkard's Flay with Children. 77 

you pretend to make your protest. But let me review a 
little further. It has been shown that the lodge is detri- 
mental in its influence upon the Christian community, be- 
cause they invite the young people of the churches, and also 
those under their influence, into it, then, upon the one hand, 
forbid the declaration of their Christian principles, and npon 
the other, allow their members to do those things against 
which the churches have had to legislate and enforce disci- 
pline repeatedly. The influence of the Good Templar lodges, 
with few exceptions, crushes spirituality out of the heart, 
and destroys the harmony and power of the Church. Their 
fruitless efforts and vainly expended energies have been 
shown. Also their cable tow processes and the Egyptian 
gigyard hoist. What nonsense ! The secrecy question has 
been somewhat ventilated, and shall soon have a little more 
light let into it. I have also shown that my position upon 
temperance is a good one. Some of you both admired and 
approved it, while the silence of the gentlemen who pre- 
ferred to be quiet, is only a proof that my position is com- 
mendable, and that our society is one among the grandest 
organizations upon the earth for the overthrow of the rum 
fiend, and the salvation of his numerous supporters. I am 
opposed to all secret societies. Secret political associations 
should be prohibited by law. I will here read you an article 
clipped from the Cincinnati Commercial under date of May, 
1878. The editor says: 

" Men who value their own independence of thought and 
who propose to keep thern as among their most valued 
rights, will avoid all secret political organizations. If they 
want the power of association, it can be found in the existing 
political parties, and, if these do not suit they can unite and 
form other political organizations. But it is not wholesome 
to identify one's self with political associations that will not 
bear the calcium light of public opinion. One secret political 
society begets others of like nature, and a people who will 
give themselves up to them are moved by unseen forces to 
unanticipated ends. The assassin covets the dark. The 
honest man faces the sun." 

H. — You are very much opposed to secret societies, I see. 



78 Borachio's Bo-Peep; or, 

Your church, I believe, does not admit members of secret 
lodges into it, do they? You and the Catholics are the only 
churches that are so eccentric, are you not ? 

Rep. — I have another pen drawing here which I will ex- 
hibit and explain to you presently. I wish, however, first to 
give you several quotations upon secret societies from some 
of the wisest and best men in the Christian Church. The 
extracts are taken from the ''Address to the American 
Pastors on Secret Societies." It was adopted at the Elev- 
enth Convention of the National Christian Association 
opposed to secret societies, which met in Worcester, Mass., 
November, 1878. You will notice that these extracts are 
against Masonry. Mr. Moody includes all secret societies 
in his remarks. I will* give you his opinion upon the Good 
Templars after I have shown you how the I. 0. G. T T is 
hitched up with several very intemperate institutions. I 
will now read these extracts : 

Prof. Moses Stuart, D. D., Andover (Mass.) Theological 
Seminary, 1834, says: 

u For a long time I neither knew nor cared about the sub- 
ject [Masonry] ; but recent attention to it has filled me with 
astonishment; as to some things contained in it, with hor- 
ror. The trifling with oaths and with the awful name of the 
ever blessed God, is a feature which I cannot contemplate 
but with the deepest distress." 

Pastor Fisch, D. D., of Paris, 1873, says: 

" The church in America must stand as one man against 
Masonry or be destroyed." 

Rev. Joel Swartz, D. D., a seceding Mason, says: 

"Its [Freemasonry's] religion is anti-Christian. * * * 
The prayers are blasphemous. * * * Its use of the 
Bible is sacriligious. * * * The whole is a compound 
of Judaism and Paganism." 

Rev. Nathaniel Colver, former pastor Tremont Temple 
(Baptist), Boston, extract from a letter to a brother Mason, 
1867, says: 



The Drunkard's Play with Children. 79 

" I am free to say that it is my deliberate opinion that the 
vicious character of Masonry and its guilt concealing and 
barbarous oaths are such as not only to release all men from 
their bonds, but also to lay upon them the solemn obligation 
to tear off its covering and expose its enormity. I regard it 
as Satan's masterpiece, a terrible snare to men. It sits at 
this moment as a nightmare on all the moral energies of our 
Government, and utterly paralyzes the arm of justice." 

Albert Barnes, 1849, says : 

" Any good cause, I think, can be promoted openly; any 
secret association is liable, at least, to abuse and danger." 

D. L. Moody, December 14th, 1876, at a Bible Beading in 
Farwell Hall, Chicago, says: 

" I do not see how any Christian, most of all a Christian 
minister, can go into these secret lodges with unbelievers. 
They say they can have more influence for good ; but I say 
they can have more influence for good by staying out of 
them, and then reproving their evil deeds. Abraham had 
more influence for good in Sodom than Lot had. If twenty- 
five Christians go into a secret lodge with fifty who are not 
Christians, the fifty can vote anything they please, and the 
twenty-five will be partakers of their sins. They are un- 
equally yoked with unbelievers. * * * Give them the 
truth any way, and if they would rather leave their churches 
than their lodges, the sooner they get out of the churches 
the better. I would rather have ten members who were 
separated from the world than a thousand such members. 
Come out from the lodge. Better one with God than a 
thousand without Him. We must walk with God, and if 
only one or two go with us it is all right. Do not let down 
the standard to suit men who love their secret lodges or 
have some darling sin they will not give up." 

Bishop Hamline (M. E. Church) in his Diary, 1848, says: 

"North Ohio Conference has progressed very rapidly 
till this time, but Masonry and Odd Fellowship have 
arrested us." At another time: "I have enjoyed and suf- 
fered much during its session. Masonry and Odd Fellow- 
ship, a bane in the midst of us, have done us much evil." — 
[Life, pp. 323-4. 



80 Borachio's Bo-Peep; or, 

Now let me introduce to your notice the great mystagogue, 




The Novenarian Magnate. 

On. — Why, I never saw anything like that in my life. 
What do you intend to show by that awful looking thing? 
Rep. — The abbreviations are explained as follows : 
L. D. P. A. — "Liquor Dealers' Protective Association.'' 
L. U. — "Liberal Union," which is anti-Christ. 
F. and A. M. — "Free and Accepted Masons." 
U. A. 0. D.— "United Ancient Order of Druids." 
I. 0. G. T.— "Independent Order of Good Templars." 
TO LET — that is to say, the magnate lets heads out to 
those who are in need of them. K. B. — The doctrines and 
practices of these heads are said not. to interfere with the 
duties of any one to HIS god and country. Each head pro- 



The Drunkard's Play with Children. 81 

duced by the magnate wants it emphatically understood that 
"Home Protection" is the aim and object of its existence. 
When confusion threatens the poly-headed giant, the F. and 
A. M. head cries with a voice that shakes the very earth 
under his colossal stature, and says: " Shall any of these 
heads say to any other one, ' I have no need of thee?' If all 
the heads were L. D. P. A., what need would there be for the 
I. 0. G. T.? If all were U. A. 0. D., what need would there 
be for the L. IT.? Shall any of my numerous heads say: 
6 Because I am not the L. D. P. A., or the L. U., or the TJ. 
A. 0. D., or the I. O. G. T., therefore I am not of the body? 
Are not WE many heads in ONE body?'" 

ECCLESI-A-A— That is to say, "The Church is de- 
funct — she is not doing her duty. The lodges exist because 
of necessity. 

The insults of the lodge to the Church of the Lord Jesus 
Christ will be reviewed, and the charge of her "failure " to 
meet the exigencies of human want will be laid at the door 
of the Christless institutions, but for whose unholy centers 
of attraction, and social monopolies of both her health and 
her wealth, as it relates to membership, she would speed- 
ily revolutionize society, and gather into her fold the multi- 
tudes that bow at their heathen altars, and allow themselves 
to be nattered with hopes beyond the grave, merited through 
a " compass," or by daubing life's imperfections with a 
"trowel." 

H. — What has that to do with temperance? 

Rep. — I will tell you presently. You asked me about our 
society not admitting persons who belong to the lodge. 
Now, please tell me which of the heads of the Magnate have 
I a right to admit ? 

Con. — What of it, any way? I cannot see what that has 
to do with temperance. 

Rep. — You were all anxious last evening to have me enter 
the lodge argument, and you, Mr. Confrere, seemed very 
much impressed with the exposition of the Good Templars. 
I surely thought you were an abiding convert to your candid 
convictions. I know that I have asked you a very close 
C 



82 Borachio's Bo-Peep; or, 

question, but answer me fairly, and without fear of the 
sequel, and I will soon show that we have a right to main- 
tain our position on the secrecy question. I will now tell 
you that the same reasons that cause these close-door socie- 
ties to shut me out are, in part, the conditions of their en- 
trance into our society. Whenever a Christless society arro- 
gates to itself the right to close its doors against the Church of 
the Living God, it becomes the ally of Satan, and ought to be 
shut out of all the Christian churches of the land, until it 
repents of its sins and meekly says, "Blessed is he that 
cometh in the name of the Lord." Which head do you say ? 
I am anxious to conclude the arguments. 

H. — Let me learn your objection to the I. 0. G. T. 

On. — It seems to me you have heard enough of it to sat- 
isfy you that it ought to be disbanded. 

Con. — I am satisfied that the I. 0. G. T. and your society 
differ very materially, and that your rules are not too strict 
as it relates to them. That is, if what you said of your tem- 
perance position is true. 

H. — I should like to hear what objection you have to offer 
against them. 

Rep. — Oar society will not admit any one who counte- 
nances the traffic of rum in any way. The Good Templars 
can "gather grapes to be made into wine," " make glasses 
to be used in liquor saloons," "print labels for beer barrels," 
" issue license to rum sellers," " sell liquor " under the 
hammer, " sell town lots, knowing they will be used for the 
sale of intoxicating liquors," and " refit buildings, knowing 
that they will be used for the sale of intoxicating drinks." 

H. — How do you know they can do this ? 

E-ep. — I just simply know it. What my own eyes and 
ears see and hear, I do most positively know. 

H. — I never can believe that the Good Templars do, or 
allow any such thing. 

R EP . — Well they do; and because of it they cannot enter 
our society. There are many other reasons, as I have already 
shown, why they should not be permitted to enter the 
Church of the Lord Jesus. 



The Drunkard's Play with Children. 83 

H. — If you will give me unimpeachable evidences of your 
assertions and charges against the order as you have stated 
them, then I have no more to say concerning your society 
making them a test of entrance into it. 

Rep. — Here is the book. [Hands him a copy of Constitu- 
tion, By-Laws, Rules of Order, Digest of Decisions, etc., of 
the I. O. G. T. of the State of California, 1882.] Please 
turn to pages 62 and 63. 

H. — [After reading them over and over.] Is it possible? 
Mr. Confrere, have you read them? 

Con. — Yes, sir. They were analyzed the evening before 
you came, and I am fully satisfied that we are very incon- 
sistent, and that Mr. Replicant is in the right. The society 
to which he belongs is certainly more worthy of sympathy 
and patronage than the order he so justly censures. 

H. — What objections do you offer to that head under the 
Magnate's arm? 

Rep. — If that was your head and you had "free speech," 
or "free press" allowed you, you would offer your own ob- 
jections. Cannot you understand? That is the Church 
crushed by the lodge. All the "healthy" members of his 
Church are in the lodge. The young people are in the 
" minor orders." The celebrations, picnics, anniversaries, 
festivals, bal masques, theaters, concerts and hoop-a-doo-dle- 
do's of these different lodges, have exhausted the treasure of 
his members, absorbed their zeal, expended their energies, 
and compromised them with the "unfruitful works of dark- 
ness." The Holy Spirit has withdrawn from his Church. 
The pews are empty. The altar is deserted. Class and 
prayer meetings are sparsely attended, and as that poor man, 
commissioned by the Eternal, to " declare ALL the counsel 
of God, and clear his garments from the blood of all men," 
goes from his home to the church, he meets his members 
going to lodge, and away from church. He hears the sound 
of stringed instruments as he treads along to the house of 
God, where he finds a few faithful sisters, and a still less 
number of brethren, who are too feeble to be admitted into 
the lodges where charity(?) is made a plea and boast. Poor 



84 Borachio's Bo-Peep; or, 

man! He has a hard place. Last Sunday he talked plain, 
and told his people that "They should not forsake the as- 
sembling of themselves together, as the manner of some is." 
He called attention to the manner in which they were de- 
serting the altars of God's house, and plead with them to 
"come out from among them — the ungodly — and be a sepa- 
rate people." At the close of his sermon some one handed 
him a note to read to the congregation, the import of which 
was this : 

"There will be an entertainment given by the 4 of 

— — Church, in the basement of their Church next Thurs- 
day evening, for the benefit of the Church. The exer- 
cises will consist of banjo solos and sentimental songs. Mr. 
and Mrs. BaschifF will sing ' Joe Anderson My Joe John.' 
Miss will sing f Coming through the Rye.' The tab- 
leaux will be a side splitting scene. Lunch will be served 
at the close of the exercises, and a general good time is an- 
ticipated. The proceeds will go to the ladies' fund for liqui- 
dating the indebtedness of the Church. Come One! Come 
All!!" 

On. — Did he read it? 

Rep. — He looked it over while the choir were singing, 

"Here I give my all to Thee, 

Friends, and time, and earthly store; 
Soul and body Thine to be — 
Wholly Thine for ever more." 

On. — Did he read it then? 

Rep. — He arose with tears running down his cheeks and 
said, "Brethren, Thursday evening has always been kept 
sacred by this Church as an evening of prayer, and I shall 
feel loth to give it up for any other service." 

On. — He did just right; and I cannot see how he could 
do otherwise. 

Rep. — Sister Hillings arose and said they thought of that, 
but that all of the other nights of the week were taken up, 
and that the ladies thought they could omit the prayer meet- 
ing one night much easier, and with less hurt to the cause, 
than their regular monthly social. Then, besides, Mr. Har- 



The Drunkard's Play with Children. 85 

monica was engaged on Wednesday night to play at the Odd 

Fellows' Bal Masque and could only be had on Thursday 

evening. She said he was such an excellent banjo player 

that he would draw a crowd for them, and had volunteered 

his services. The minister wanted them to pray over the 

matter until the next evening, and then see how they felt 

about it. But they utterly refused to do so, and one of the 

committee on socials took the paper and read. Then the 

choir sang, 

"Hide me, O, my Saviour hide, 
'Till the storm of life is past; 
Safe into Thy haven guide, 
O, receive my soul at last." 

The pastor pronounced a benediction, and the meeting 
broke up in confusion. 

On. — That was enough to confuse anything. 

Rep. — When the lodges got to hear that the minister's 
remarks were intended for them, and the social looseness 
their shaky creeds had engendered, they at once commenced 
to find fault. Some said he was a " hobby rider;" others 
said he was a "perjured wretch," and some said he had 
been "black-balled," and did this to retaliate upon the lodges. 

On. — That is just like them. I have heard them say the 
same things against you. 

Con. — What has that to do with temperance? 

H. — Yes; I am anxious to hear you on temperance. 

Rep. — What is temperance? [They answered him not a 
word.] "Be ye temperate in all things," and "let your 
moderation be known unto all men." You see, gentlemen, 
that the church is crushed by these vicious societies that 
encourage the popular evils of the day, and then conceal 
from her gaze, by closed doors, and fearful oaths, and ques- 
tionable affirmations, the dark deeds hidden away in their 
hearts, and the still darker forms of Belial worship prac- 
ticed in, they say — 

"A temple where no narrow creed 
Protects a chosen few," 
But, "holds alike deserved meed 
To Christian, Turk, or Jew," 



86 Borachio's Bo-Peep; or, 

Please, Mr. H , choose the head you want me to take 

into my society, and let me show you that we have a right 
to exclude him. Do not be afraid. You said on last night 
you were ready to hear my argument; now, do make a 
choice of one of these heads. 

Con. — You haven't got any Odd Fellows' heads, have you? 

Rep. — I think there are two of them here. 

Con. — I cannot see them. Can you, Mr. H- ? 

H. — I cannot, and am at a loss to know what he means. 

Rep. — It is a mysterious fact. There are two Odd Fel- 
lows' heads here. I can see them plainly, and so can Mr. 
Ondit, but each of you can only see one of them. 

H. — What do you mean ? Why cannot we see them ? 

Rep. — Are not you both Odd Fellows ? 

On. — Ha, ha, ha. I see the point. They are both Odd 
Fellows, and can only see each other's heads, while we can 
look at both of them. Ha, ha, ha-a. 

H. — I don't thank you for your nonsense at all. 

Rep. — You know, gentlemen, that a " little nonsense now 
and" 

Con, — Well; but there is no use in being too personal. 

Rep. — Do you want me to make an argument on the pro- 
priety of letting you in as Odd Fellows? 

H. — Make your argument, and don't employ so much 
circumlocution in getting at the point. Explain the heads 
you have in this pen drawing. 

Rep. — I have tried to proceed a score of times, but you 
have intercepted me as often. I will now give you an ex- 
planation of the Magnate, and his heads. Rut, lest I forget 
it, I will first tell you that the Magnate imparts to each off- 
spring of a head, both his native blood corpuscles, and his 
exact anatomy, and you will always recognize his offspring 
by the similarity existing in their titles of distinction, and in 
their forms of worship. The Magnate is constituted like a 
bulbiferous plant that grows its species from its main body. 
He gets up heads to sell or to let. I will explain how he 
manages it. 

Con. — Does this bear upon the temperance question? 



The Drunkard's Play with Children. 87 

Rep. — Yes, sir, it does, and you will soon see that the 
temperance question ought to bear on it. Let us notice 
those heads which are 

TO LET. 

That is to say, there are two classes of men in some com- 
munities, that seem peculiarly made to build their nests 
together. The first of these lack both genius and common 
sense. The other have, they say, an abundance of both, and 
offer to aid the unfortunate dupes with much money at great 
price out of a heart profaned and love without dissimilarity. 
The second class have everything to furnish for the first 
class, from brain expnlgations financial, to immortality and 
eternal life, through the sap of a green "acacia twig." 
Hence, any one not having head enough to manage his own 
affairs, and unwilling to be led by the Blessed Spirit of the 
Eternal, is urged to rent one of these heads. They are 
gotten up to order, and are kept animated by the Magnate 
in whom they hive, rove, and have their submissive seeing. 
The heads are both contractible and expansive, so that the 
renter can take his religion and his patriotism in with him 
and be forever protected from the cruel tyrants who would 
have him live up to either. The lessor who furnished the 
head, will also furnish the "altar and the priest," and the 
"saber and the flag;" so that the lessee, or renter, gets an 
outfit fit out to fit and more fit than the fit he had when he 
thought fit to exchange his fit for the gotten-up-to-order fit. 
There has been a great demand for these heads. N". B. — Per- 
sons desiring to rent a head, or any number of heads, will 
be held responsible for any damage done them, except dam- 
ages arising from wear and tear. Provided, however, that 
those who desire to occupy the F. and A. M. head, are bound 
to remain its occupants until either they or the head are 
worn out. 

On. — It seems to me the heads would die if they are not 
already dead, being detached from the body. 

Rep. — Sampson like, their strength is in their hair. The 
Magnate has taken them off at their spinal joints to exhibit 



88 Borachio's Bo-Peep; or, 

them. They are, of their kind, like a duck of its kind — 
they can live "in or out" of the water for a period without 
suffering. 

On. — If T should rent one of them, would I be obliged to 
connect it with the Magnate's body? 

Rep. — Most assuredly. Now notice these heads above his 

shoulders. Tell me, Mr. H , would you urge me to let 

the L. D. P. A. into my Church ? 

H.— No, Sir. 

Rep. — Shall I invite the L. U. to come in? 

H. — I would not invite him, because he is anti-Christ. 

Rep. — Shall I invite the F. and A. M. to come in? 

H. — I can see no objection to his coming in. 

Rep. — What difference do you make between him and the 
L. D. P. A.? 

H. — They are the Liquor Dealers' Protective Association, 
and the Church is, or ought to be, total abstainers, and 

LEGAL PROHIBITIONISTS. 

Rep. — Then you think that unless a society takes the 
ground of " total abstinence and legal prohibition," they 
ought not (i. e. their members), to be admitted into the 
Church which does hold that position? 

H. — I do hold to just such views ; and cannot see how the 
Church can be consistent without it. 

Rep. — Do you, Mr. Confrere, think the reverend gentle- 
man's position to be a plausible one? 

Con. — If you claim to be a temperance church, be one, 
and do not trifle with those who are against the complete 
overthrow of the traffic. I took position against the Good 
Templars last night, and am not a going to allow you to 
swerve from the position you then assumed. 

Rep. — Mr. Confrere, you remind me of a story of an 
Irishman, who saw a mad bull pawing and throwing up the 
dust. The animal was standing near a fence, and filled the 
air with dust clouds until he was almost hidden from sight. 
The Irishman thought it would be great sport to slip up 
quietly and catch him by the horns and rub his nose in the 
dirt. The thought of it was very amusing and laughable \ 



The Drunkard's Flay with Children. 89 

and laugh he did. How he did laugh! He fairly held his 
sides and laughed, then he looked at the victim of his fun 
again and laughed until he brought the tears of wit to his 
cheeks. "Ah!" said he, "but I'll hev a bit of fun wid the 
crature now." So he went up to him and took hold of his 
horns, and, no sooner than he had touched them, he found 
himself ou the other side of the fence on all fours with his 
back badly wrenched. He got up slowly and in great pain, 
and looked across the fence to where the creature was en- 
gaged in his dusty entertainment. After easing himself a 
moment he said, " What a blissid ting 'twas that I had my 
laugh before I stharted in." You came in several evenings 
ago with considerable certainty that you would, as you have 
admitted, "explode my arguments and put me to shame;" 
but you utterly failed to do so, and frankly admitted your 
error, and confessed your ignorance. Now, you are again 
becoming a little too positive. Let me tell you that you have 
only sanctioned my own opinion, and now, if you and Mr. 

H will not retract what you have said, you will soon 

admit the justice of my claims and adopt the position I have 
taken. 

Con. — I do not quite get your meaning. 

Rep. — I will complete the examination of the three heads 
I have introduced, and you will not fail to see the point. 
The L. D. P. A., you say, ought not to come into our soci- 
ety, because they sell liquor, and the L. XJ. are anti-Christ, 
and you know they both sell and drink liquor. Now, if I 
shall be able to prove to you that the F. and A. M. sell 
liquor, or, that they do not legislate against the sale and 
consumption of it, will you admit that they should alike be 
excluded from our society ? 

Con. — They should not be held responsible for what their 
members do upon their individual responsibility. You must 
look at their principles, and not at the actions of a few of 
their members. 

Rep. — Then if a Church member or a Good Templar gets 
drunk, I must not look at the man in the ditch, but at the 
grand principles of the Church or lodge that winks at drunk- 
enness. 



90 Borachio's Bo-Peep; or, 

H. — That will not do, Mr. Confrere. You cannot thwart 
the claims of justice in that way. Every society is responsi- 
ble for the deportment of its members. If it were not so, 
the object of society would be defeated, You know that 
your position will not stand the test. 

Con. — Well, if we admit his premise, we will have to 
accept the very conclusion that I had hoped to avoid. 

H. — Logic is logic, and if I have not reasoned correctly, I 
am ready to commence now. I cannot and will not allow 
my prejudice to so completely chloroform my senses and 
my judgment as to lessen the dignity due a gentleman, or 
sacrifice a moral principle. 

Rep. — Gentlemen, one word further. The F. and A. M. 
head has a saloon in the northeast corner of his Temple in 
this city, and a great many of the bartenders and the brew- 
ers and the distillers are his fraternal consociates. Let me 
read to you from one of their authors. He starts out by 
emphasizing the word Temperance, then calls it " one of the 
cardinal virtues." He further says : 

" And lest any brother should forget the danger to which 
he is exposed in the unguarded hours of dissipation, the vir- 
tue of Temperance is wisely impressed upon his memory, 
by its reference to one of the most solemn portions of the 
ceremony of initiation. Some Masons, very properly con- 
demning the vice of intemperance, and abhoring its effects, 
have been unwisely led to confound temperance with total ab- 
stinence in a Masonic application, and resolutions have some 
times been proposed in Grand Lodges which declare the use 
of stimulating liquors in any quantity a Masonic offense. 
But the law of Masonry authorizes no such regulation. It 
leaves to every man the indulgence of his own tastes within 
due limits, and demands not abstinence, but only modera- 
tion and temperance in anything not actually wrong." 

H. — What book is that you were reading from? 

Rep. — It is Mackey's Encyclopaedia of Freemasonry. [See 
page 792.] 

H. — I am satisfied. I have no more to say. You have 
proved your position. I never knew they opposed total 
abstinence before. 



The Drunkard's Play with Children. 91 

Con. — What about the other two heads of the Magnate ? 

Rep. — The U. A. O. D. make great pretensions. They 
boast of their origin and ancestors, of their doctrines and 
practices ; but, alas ! you need but call the roll once, and 
notice those who answer to their names. Where are some 
of the supporters of Ingersoll, of Prof. Denton, and the 
School of Free Thought? Are not they among the Druids? 
On the 14th of May, 1882, ON" SUNDAY, they held their 
picnic at East Park Grove. They announced " Games! 
Dancing! Prizes!" They added, "No disreputable persons 
will be allowed on the grounds." What contradiction of 
terms! How can any one retain a character of good repute 
and at the same time desecrate the Holy Sabbath, and even 
offer prizes to those who are the greatest experts in that 
line of Satan's cunning work. How, pray tell me, can any 
one be of good repute who plays games for amusement and 
entertainment on the Day the Lord of Glory arose from the 
dead, in which we are to be "glad and rejoice." Dance 
and revel on that sacred day ! How shameful ! How dis- 
reputable! Shame! Shame! And again I say, Shame! 

Who keeps that bar at K Street? A Druid. Who 

drives that brewer's wagon? A Druid. Who made that 
calorific speech at the meeting of the Liquor Dealers' 
Protective Association? A Druid. Shall I take him in? 
I have examined the I. O. G. T, head several times, but 
for your sakes will wake up the somnolent dreamer, and 
interrogate him briefly. 

On. — What say you, gentlemen ; should the IT. A. 0. D. 
head be let into Mr. Replicant's society ? 

H. — I think not. Sabbath desecrators are unfriendly to 
the churches. 

Rep. — Notice these heads a moment. The L. D. P. A. 
head has a countenance like a vicious debauchee. The L. 
U. looks like a profligate bawd, i. <?., one who promotes 
loose morals. These two sensualists belong to each other's 
societies without mental or moral reservation. The F. and 
A. M. head has no ears, and dare not use his tongue under 
no less penalty than that of losing it. The two libertines to 



92 Borachio's Bo-Peep; or, 

his left can join his society, and simultaneously retain their 
respective views and liberal sentiments. He, the F. and A. 
M., can also join either or both of them, without violating 
his obligation or lowering the standard of his piety. The 
U. A. O. D. head is a half brother to the F. and A. M. 
They are having some little contention as to whose birth 
should precede the other upon their family record. Now, 
these four heads can belong to each other separately, con- 
jointly, or cooperatively, as the polygenous firm shall decide. 

On. — Are you not forgetting the other head? 

Rep. — I am not. But I will wake him up and start him 
around. Say! You, there! Hallo! I. 0. G. T., wake up! 
Wake up! [He opens his eyes.] Do you belong to the IT. 
A. O. D.? [He answers, y-a-s.] Do you belong to the F. 
and A. M. ? [He answers, I reckon I do.] Do you belong 
to the L. U. ? [He answers, who said I didn't?] Do you 
belong to the L. D. P. A.? [He gets greatly excited, and 
says, "not I; I hate him."j Now gentlemen, I take the 
position that he is the consociate of the man he hates. He 
belongs to three lodges that harbor him, and which will not 
allow a word to be said against him at their altars. How 
can he be the companion of those who, as has been shown, 
are his most formidable enemies? ~No wonder he sleeps so 
much. He is under the influence of social ether. He is 
the most stupid dupe I ever saw. Do tell him of it. Make 
him angry. Throw something at him. Do not let him 
sleep so much. Let the U. A. 0. D. throw a " philosophy 
rule" at him. Tell the F. and A. M. to strike him with 
their " square." Urge the L. U. to cry unto him that "Free 
thought is the bulwark of American liberty." If that does 
not wake him up, then let the L. D. P. A. roll a barrel over 
him; and if he still shows no signs of activity, pronounce 
him "twice dead and plucked up by the roots," and bury 
him where the tides ebb and flow as their manner is. 

H. — It is now plain to me that we cannot accomplish the 
work while we are so compromised with those who oppose 
us. But what shall we do? 

Hep. — One more quotation and I shall, for the present, 



The Drunkard's Play with Children. 93 

leave this feature of the argument. I cannot admit any of 
these heads into my society, because I do not believe in social 
polygamy. Take Masonry. Mackey says [Encyclopaedia of 
Freemasonry, page 594]: "Freemasonry is a religious insti- 
tution, and hence its regulations inculcate the use of prayer 
'as a proper tribute of gratitude to the beneficent Author of 
Life/" So I might say, Methodism is a religious institu- 
tion, and hence its regulations inculcate the use of prayer, as 
a proper tribute of gratitude to the beneficent Author of Life. 

Con. — Would you reject the Methodists on that ground? 

Rep. — I would not. But if they desired to join my society, 
I would demand of them that they withdraw from the Meth- 
odist Church — severing their connection from it entirely — 
and that they subscribe to the rules and government of our 
society, before I could or would admit them. The Metho- 
dists will not take any one into their society, no matter what 
church he belongs to, until he severs his connection with it. 
I never heard of a church that would allow its members to 
belong to any other church, no matter how orthodox their 
plea, and at the same time retain their connection with them. 
If Masonry is a religious institution — and they say it is — 
then it should not look for greater liberties to be extended 
to it than any and all other religious institutions. 

Con. — Doe3 your argument apply to the other lodges rep- 
resented here? 

Rep. — It does. All societies having religious forms of 
worship come under the head of either orthodox or hetoro- 
dox religious societies. 

Con. — So the Masons are religious? 

Rep. — They are religious, but not Christians. St. James 
tells us of "pure religion." Paul, of the "Jew's religion," 
and, in his defense before Agrippa, he said, "After the most 
straitest sect of our religion I lived a Pharisee." About 
two years later he wrote to the Philippians and told them of 
his former Jewish religion. He told them that he was " cir- 
cumcised the eighth day, of the stock of Israel, of the tribe 
of Benjamin, an Hebrew of the Hebrews; as touching the 
law a Pharisee." But he adds, "I count it all loss for the 



94 Borachio's Bo-Peep; or, 

excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord : for 
whom I suffer the loss of all things, and do count them but 
dung that I may win Christ." Oh, Blessed Christ! "He is 
ALL in all." 

On. — You have almost persuaded me to be a Christian. 

Rep. — Let me fully persuade you to "win Christ." 0, 
win him now. The Blessed and Adorable Jesus is NOW 
ready to save you, the purchase of His blood, and sway over 
you the Sceptre of His righteous Sovereignty, until, redeemed 
from these earthly relations, you shall have waved over you 
the immortal palms of victory. How His name thrills every 
fiber of my being! and how His majestic sweetness pene- 
trates every recess of my exultant soul ! 

H. — I rejoice with you. You are in the right. I am a 
non-affiliating Mason. I have not been inside of a lodge for 
nine years. 

Rep. — Mackey, the Masonic Jurisconsult, says, [Encyclo- 
pedia, page 442,] " Non-affiliation is a Masonic offense." 

H. — I want it distinctly understood that "I am not a son 
of the bond-woman, but of the free." 

Rep. — Let me tell you that the I. O. G. T. come under 
the same rule as do the Masons. Says John M. Ross, L. L. 
D., in the "Globe Cyclopaedia of Universal Information," of 
the Good Templars' lodge : " It is professedly a religious 
body, with an evangelical ritual, and takes its name from a 
fancied resemblance between its object and that of the 
Knights Templars, who warred with the Saracens in defense 
of the Holy Sepulchre. It is characterized by a showy cere- 
monial, a lavish use of high sounding titles, and a system of 
secret signs, analagous to that of the Freemasons." When 
Mr. Moody gave his opinion on secret societies, at Farwell 
Hall, Chicago, to which I have already referred, and read 
you an extract, he added: "But," says some one, "what 
do you say about these secret temperance orders?' I say 
the same thing. Do not evil that good may come. You 
never can reform anything by unequally yoking yourselves 
with ungodly men. True reformers separate themselves 
from the world. 'But,' you say, 'you had one of them in 



The Drunkard's Play with Children. 95 

your church.' So I did, but when I found out what it was 
I cleaned it out like a cage of unclean birds. They drew in 
a lot of young men of the church in the name of temperance, 
and then got up a dance and kept them out until after twelve 
at night. I was a partaker of their sin because I let them 
get into the church; but they were cleaned out, and never came 
back. This idea of promoting temperance by yoking one's 
self up in that way with ungodly men is abominable. The 
most abominable meeting I ever attended was a temperance 
meeting in England. It was full of secret societies, and 
there was no Christianity about it. I felt as though I had 
got into Sodom, and got out as soon as I could. A man res- 
cued from intemperance by a society not working on Gospel 
principles gets filled with pride and boasts about reforming 
himself. Such a man is harder to save than a drunkard." 

Con. — Have not the Good Templars done a great work in 
this State? They have 18,000 members in California, and 
do not you think they will make the political parties come 
to time? 

Rep. — That plank in the Democratic manifesto last week 
looks as if their Good Templars had not succeeded. Will 
they leave each other, or will they say, "Eternal vigilance 
is the price of liberty," and still adhere and watch each 
other ? 

Con. — Are not the lodges charitable'? 

Rep. — This political question first, please. You say there 

are 18,000 Good Templars in California. There would not 

be above 4,000 voters among them. We are safe in saying 

that there will be 150,000 votes cast this Fall. Look at it. 

4,000 to 150,000. If I was certain that the 1,000 would 

sw T allow up the mighty troop, I would write a poem on it, 

and immortalize my name. For my theme I would choose 

these lines — 

"Through the valley of Bacchus 
Rode the four hundred." 

You asked me about their having charity. I just simply 
deny it. Their orphan asylum is largely supported by the 



96 Borachio's Bo-Peep; or, 

State, and Jew and Gentile are taxed alike. Their school 
in connection with the district school, is largely supported 
by it. There is some additional expense incurred, which is, 
in part, secured by taxes, per capita, not charity per " as God 
has prospered them." The remainder is secured by Baccha- 
Terpsi in various ways for the " benefit of their Home for 
Orphans." Poor orphans ! " Pure religion, and undefiled 
before God and the Father is this, to visit the fatherless and 
widows in their affliction, and to KEEP HIMSELF UN- 
SPOTTED FROM THE WORLD." Note that, please: 
''UNSPOTTED FROM THE WORLD." Your temper- 
ance politics reminds me of a profile in the Manuscript, 
showing how politicians are surveying the field. Here it is: 




Iff 




MR. NASAL SWAN. 



Con. — How do you explain it? 

Rep. — It is explained. Do not you recognize it? If not, 
more anon. The Manuscript also contained a statement of 
what the Good Templars are doing. I will read it: 



i. o. g. t. energies. 



The following report shows the work done by the I. 0. 
G. T. of California for the social year, ending after the 
Holidays : 



The Drunkard's Play with Children. 97 

Lecturers in the field (converted) 3 

Lecturers in the field (unconverted) 4 

Number of lodges built alongside of churches 1 

Number of churches supplanted 18 

Number of proselytes made 700 

Number of backsliders made . 976 

Number of dances held 180 

Number of homes saddened by it 350 

Sermons to the ungodly 

Number detracted from prayer meetings 976 

Number converted to God 

Number of "spots in their feasts of charity." — [See Jude, 
10-13.] 

Money expended by State $8,000 

Money expended by district ,. 700 

Money expended for regalia, etc 2,000 

Money expended for dances 6,200 

Contributed for Bible cause 

Contributed for Home, Frontier, and Foreign Mis- 
sions 

Died 18 

Dropped, expelled, and withdrawn 976 

Preachers initiated 8 

Preachers cleared out 11 

Lodges held on Sunday nights ; 7 

Drunkards invited to Jesus 

Political situation. [See Home Protection.] 
Religious status. [See I. O. G. T. Constitution, Sec. 1, Art. 
IX, or page 74 of this book.] 

Total — To be summed up in that "Day when men shall 
give an account of deeds done in the body." For further 
information examine the records of their heart tablets in 
their Confession of Faith. 

On. — That is quite an itemized account. 
Con. — Are you not too severe? You will get people 
down on you. 

Rep. — Facts are stubborn things. I urge the Christian 

7 



98 Borachio's Bo-Pebp; or, 

people of the lodges to come out of them and stand by their 
churches. 

H. — I think there would be more accomplished if Chris- 
tians would put forth Christian efforts to lead sinners to 
Christ. 

On. — I am fully persuaded that you will succeed just as 
well. I have heard more of Christ in these few evenings 
than I ever heard from these would-be reformers. 

[Just then the door bell is heard, and upon opening it Simple 
Sim comes in.~\ 

Sim. — how du u du? i wus at the od fellers mask tu raid 
ball tu nite, an kep a luken on until i thot evrything wuz 
agoen around, an i came away, tu see if it wuz me or them 
that went around. 

Rep. — I was just about to conclude my argument when 
you came in, and will proceed with it. I want you to hear 
the Magnate talk. The L. D. P. A. says: "I believe in the 
freedom of man, and will support no party that legislates 
against my liberties." The L. U. says: "I am the Apostle 
of Free Thought. No man shall make of me a serf. Let 
Nature have her delights and she is happy." The F. and A. 
M. says: u ¥e leave to every man the indulgence of his own 
tastes within proper limits — not abstinence, but moderation." 
The U. A. 0. D. says: "Our philosophy and religion does 
not make man the slave of the church parish. Let him eat 
and drink ere he die." The I. O. G. T. says: "I favor 
keeping awake on all issues, and putting men into the field 
who will not hurt the field. Prohibition! Total Absti- 
nence! Anything to give us the long looked for jubilee, 
when we can put in more time on social entertainments." 
The other heads have nothing to say. 

Sim. — how tha did dans at the od fellers' ball, there wuz 
a pursen there what wuz kloased like old nik. he wuz 
kloased in blak, an he luked like the person what neerly 
skeered me tu deth when i wuz inisherated 11 years ago. 
then, tha kalled him the i. g. there wuz anuther pursen 
there — tha sed it wuz a gurl — she wuz kloased like a hoi- 



The Drunkard's Play with Children. 99 

lowhauk. them 2, tha dansed around, an around, until i got 
dizy. i thot tha wuld git dizy tu, but i guess tha had no 
time tu git that wa. tha wuz masked tu raid, tha did not 
kno who each other wuz; but a man who knu'them boath 
tole me the man wuz a salune keeper, and the gurl a gud 
templer. tha luked mor od nor us od fellers with all uv our 
fixen up on. 

Rep. — What dance was it? 

Sim. — The od fellers' mask tu raid. 

Rep. — Yes; I understand you. They are masked to raid 
on the virtues of the unsuspecting, and on the domestic re- 
lations of the homes and hearts of the people. But then I 
presume that one of their cardinal virtues, " Charity," will 
"cover the multitude of sins." Gentlemen, who is respon- 
sible for the immoral entertainments of these modern virtue 
wreckers? Let me answer from Holy Writ: "He that 
sinneth is of the devil;" and, " The soul that sinneth, it shall 
die." 

On. — Mr. Replicant, how would you like to deliver a lec- 
ture on popular evils, and give the public the advantage of 
the information you have given us during this interview. 

Rep. — I would not be kindly received by a great many. 

H. — I think it would be just what this community needs. 

Con. — I am in favor of it, although you might be led to 
infer that I was opposed to what you said of the lodges. But 
to be frank with you, I am fully convinced that you are in 
the right. « 

H. — Since you have such abiding convictions upon this 
question, you ought by all means to make them known. 

Rep. — I have spoken publicly upon them before. 

H. — Speak again, and we will come and stand by you. 

Sim. — not i. the od fellers wuld quit setten down with 
me o' nites if i did, an i wuld be bankrupt in less an a 3 
weeks; an yu, mr. preecher, will git xpeled; and u tu, mr. 
Konfrere. now u see. u better take heed an hear, an be in- 
strukted or, [giving him the sign of caution], u will rew it 
mor nor ever mi wif an children ever did fur goen tu Kansas. 

Rep. — If you will complete the arrangements, I will lee- 



100 



Borachio's Bo-Peep; or, 



ture on next Tuesday evening, D. V., at 
may announce me thusly : 



Hall. You 







The Novenarian Magnate. 



-BY 



EARNEST REPLICANT, of Otnemareas, 



ON- 



At 



TUESDAY EVENING, Next Week, 

HALL, Commencing at 8 o'clock, sharp, 



SUBJECT 



TEMPERANCE INTOXICATED! 



All are Invited. No Admittance Fee at the Door, 
\The company bid good night, and exit.\ 



The Drunkard's Play with Children. 101 

CHAPTER VI. 

LECTURE BY EARNEST REPLICANT, OF OTNEMARCAS — DELIVERED 

AT HALL, AS PER ANNOUNCEMENT, ON THE GREAT 

SUBJECT OF TEMPERANCE INTOXICATED. 

[Mr. Onclit secured the hall, and announced the lecture both 
through The Manuscript and by dodgers and personal solicita- 
tions, in which the Clergyman and Mr. Confrere took an active 
part. They choose Mr. Ondit Chairman of the meeting. At the 
appointed hour the hall was filled to overflowing. Mr. Ondit in- 
troduced the speaker in the following words: "Ladies and gentle- 
man — It is with more than an ordinary concern for your interest 
and for the interest of the rising generation, that I appear before 
you at this time. The gentlemen who are with me upon the plat- 
form are known to you, except, perhaps, the speaker, whom I 
am about to introduce. We have just closed a discussion of five 
evenings* continuance upon the great moral and, social questions 
that are threatening the overthrow of the very bulwarks of our 
civilization. The speaker has consented to address you upon 
that issue. I now have the pleasure of introducing to you the 
uncompromising dialogist, Earnest Replicant."] 

Mr. Chairman, Ladies, and Gentlemen: When George 
Washington delivered his Farewell Address to his countrvr 
men, he said among other things relative to the " efficacious 
management of their common concerns," that "All obstruc- 
tions to the execution of the laws; all combinations and 
associations, under whatever plausible character, with the 
real design to direct, control, counteract or awe the regu- 
lar deliberation and action of the constituted authorities, 
are destructive of this fundamental principle, and of fatal 
tendency. They serve to organize factions, to give it an 
artful and extraordinary force; to put in the place of the 
delegated will of the nation the will of a party, often a small 
but artful and enterprising minority of the community; and 
according to the alternate triumphs of different parties, to 
make the public administration the mission of the ill-con- 
certed and incongruous projects of faction, rather than the 



102 Borachio's Bo-Peep; or, 

organ of consistent and wholesome plans, digested by common 
councils, and modified by mutual interests." 

George Washington was a patriot. [Cheers.] He was a 
hero — a patriotic, Christian hero. [Cheers, and prolonged 
applause.] He was the grandest and best statesman, soldier, 
and patriot upon which man ever conferred the honors of 
public trust. No laurels of fame have ever decorated the 
brow of mortal man which had in them one half the signifi- 
cance still seen in the withered wreaths, the fragrance of 
which is ever fresh in the patriotic atmosphere, which inflates 
the lungs and inspires the hearts of every true citizen of 
America to this very day. [Cheers.] As a statesman, he 
conceived the idea of true national independence, and of do- 
mestic felicity. As a soldier, he faced the rattling and 
clashing musketry of the enraged " British lion," and when 
the continent rocked as if a volcano had threatened its usual 
quiet, he stood by the cannon's mouth, and with undaunted 
heroism bade the Americans to storm the forts of the 
assailants, and unfurl our flag upon the very battlements 
of the enemy who came to wrest it from the patriot's grasp. 
As a patriot, he held his allegiance to his country next to 
his fealty to God. And as a Christian, he humbled himself 
before "The Lord and His Christ," and "sought His 
counsel in all his ways." Such, ladies and gentlemen, is 
but a fraction, comparatively, of what might be pronounced 
as an apostrophe to the character of George Washington. 
[Applause.] The language I have quoted was spoken by 
him near the close of his life, and comes to us from one 
whose maturity, being so replete with the various expe- 
riences of Revolutionary times, make him peculiarly com- 
petent to predict the danger which threatened the safety 
of the people. He foresaw the " artful factions " whose 
" obstructions" to the execution of the laws were " destruc- 
tive of their fundamental principles, and of fatal tendency." 
Hear him again as he speaks of the " conduct, religion and 
morality enjoins." He says: "Can it be that Providence 
has not connected the permanent felicity of a nation with 
its virtues? The experiment, at least, is recommended by 



The Drunkard's Play with Children. 103 

every sentiment which ennobles human nature. Alas ! is it 
rendered impossible by its vices?" He also gave expression 
to a sentiment which has given us the secret of his great and 
good life. Said he, "Let us with caution indulge the sup- 
position that morality can be maintained without religion." 
My appearance before this large and intelligent audience 
to-night is to give expression to a sentiment not at all unlike 
the one voiced by the great hero of our country. The pre- 
dictions of Washington, with all their fearful sequences, are 
upon us, and we are to-day being duped by factions as dan- 
gerous to our civilization as were ever the Jesuits to the 
advancement of religious and civil freedom upon the conti- 
nent of Europe. Corporations have thwarted the purposes 
of the Federal Constitution. We have corporations, with 
corporate powers, which bid defiance to the laws that be. 
It has been well said that, " When bad men combine, the 
good must associate." A prophet in Israel once said, "I 
have not gone in with the wicked, nor sat with dissemblers." 
We have to-day whisky corporations, lodge corporations, 
or, rather, corporate lodges, and capital stock corporations. 
They are secret and destructive of the fundamental princi- 
ples of the government. They strike at the root of both 
civil and religious liberty, and endanger the fabric of na- 
tional independence and of individual security. When Gen- 
eral Lafayette reviewed the situation of the Americans, he 
told them they had but two things to fear. The one was 
the danger arising from the Roman Catholics, the other, 
from secret societies. A large number of my fellow citi- 
zens may not have given the subject sufficient thought to be 
conversant with the portentous danger which lingers at the 
threshhold of the Republic. I have here a cartoon, which 
will aid me in giving you a more intelligent glance at the 
situation of affairs. It is the 



104 



Borachio's Bo-Peep; or, 




Tree of Corporations. 

This tree has but three living branches, the remainder 
have died and are withering. You will here observe a man 
in the top of the tree ; and here is one at the root of the 
tree. These two men differ very materially as to how the 
corporations should be dealt with. One of the living 
branches draws its life from the whisky corporations; one 
from the secret lodges, and the other one from the capital 
stock corporations. You will notice the absence of many 
living limbs and branches that are usually seen in trees of 
that shape. If you will observe closely, you will see that 
the living branches are parasitic, and that they have sapped 
the vitality of the other branches and thus caused their 
death. This tree is a mysterious one, and has led to more 
inquiries than any other product of the forest. You will 
notice that the trunk of the tree is hollow, and that it is 
animated by living anthropoids. These creatures are giving 



The Drunkard's Play with Children. 105 

life to their branches at the expense of every other branch 
the tree has grown. These corporations are united in body, 
but seek multiform ways to carry their plans into execution. 
The whisky corporation can belong to the capital stock cor- 
poration, and to the lodge corporation simultaneously, and 
vice versa all around. They are like the heathen trinity 
with the lodge in the first person. 

The whisky and capital stock corporations manage their 
affairs without seeking the Divine aid; but the lodge feels 
itself unable to succeed without suggestions from the Su- 
preme Architect of the Universe. The\^ conduct their 
business through orisons offered to their deity from their 
sequestered altars, and from the lips of their priests whose 
pockets are big with the proceeds of capital stock, and whose 
animality daily demands a libation from the cellar to 
strengthen them in the "due performance" of their priestly 
functions in the "garret." There is not a sin known to 
the catalogue of total depravity, these corporations are not 
guilty of. All of the misery that is entailed upon us, is 
resultant from the activities of these most formidable ene- 
mies of our race. In the lodge, nothing is demanded but to 
enhance its interests. In the saloon, nothing craved but to 
patronize its industries and to protect its magna charta. In 
the capital stock concern, nothing, at the present, is to be 
expected, but to submit to its herculean mandates and toil 
day and night to supply the treasuries of its subsidiary 
demands. Now take another glance at the tree. The man 
in the top is determined to destroy the tree. His intentions 
are good; but his lack of sense is not difficult to be seen. 
The man below is pointing to an ax, and giving him the 
words of the Great Reformer who lived in the days of the 
Csesars, viz: "Behold the ax is laid at the root of the tree. 
Every tree which bringeth not forth good fruit, is hewn down 
and cast into the fire." That man up there is chopping 
away at dead issues. I must commend him for his zeal and 
good intentions ; but I do nevertheless, notwithstanding, 
feel it my duty to censure his modus operandi, and his con- 
summate bigotry. 



106 Borachio's Bo-Peep; or, 

The solution of this great problem will be found in the 
language of Washington when he spoke of the "perma- 
nency" of the government. Said he, "It is requisite, not 
only that you steadily discountenance irregular oppositions 
to its acknowledged authority, but also that you resist with 
care the spirit of innovation upon its principles, however 
specious the pretext." Those, then, who seek to destroy 
the permanency of the government, are the ones who per- 
sistently refuse to acknowledge its highest authority; and 
those who support and even defend the alien traitors of the 
land, deserve the fate due those whom they harbor. Who 
is there in this audience that dares to announce himself the 
confederate of a traitor? If he is here, let him rise in his 
place that you all may see him. Fellow citizens, every 
principle, every enterprise and every faction, which does/not 
recognize and seek to encourage "life, liberty, and the pur- 
suit of happiness," for which the government was instituted, 
is the certain enemy of both the government and the indi- 
vidual. [Applause.] The published statements of the whisky 
corporations are at once destructive of the fundamental 
principals of the government, and proceed from hearts whose 
motives are of a sinister character. To harbor them, is to 
partake of their evil deeds. The capital stock corporations 
are abundantly able to satisfy their office seeking constitu- 
ents, so that they will lay the key of the house of Coin upon 
the shoulders of their money hoarding masters. The lodge 
entertains the members of the corporate Concision. Let me 
say to you, "Beware of the Concision!" There are those 
in the Concision who would gladly come out, but alas! the 
mystic chain that binds them was forged by a smith whose 
colossal proportions are indicative of the useless task, and 
whose defiant look makes them succumb and yield to endure 
what they cannot well escape. 

But how shall these corporations be disbanded? Can any 
one of them be annihilated without curtailing the cooperative 
influences of the other? Are not the persons of this danger- 
ous trinity interdependent? Is not their life like those of 
the Siamese twins, and may it not so occur that when the 



The Drunkard's Play with Children. 107 

first person in the unholy trinity dies, the others will soon 
expire, either of mortality fright, or because of the great 
pulmonic life-supplyer having closed the valves of his arte- 
rial fountain? [Laughter.] For one I favor the suppression 
of every society that obstructs either the Church or the 
State. To the patriots of the State should be committed the 
legislative, the judicial and the executive affairs of the gov- 
ernment, and to the Christian should be given the sacradotal 
prerogatives of Christianity. The former should not be left 
in the hands of the arch-fiends of the nation's moral con- 
servators, and the latter should not be encouraged at the 
altar where sacrilegious homage is of daily occurrence. 

But what are the moral, social, and political aspects of this 
question? Do they not all center in the virtues or in the 
vices of the people? Is it possible for us to have a closer 
regard paid to the moral principles of good government 
while certain factions are disregarding these same principles 
and demanding their overthrow? What we want is separation. 
"Good men must combine." But how can they expect to 
succeed here in moral reform, while yonder they are person- 
ally identified with those who seek to paralyze the arms of 
the government? [Voices — That is true.l Can a man be 
said to be the friend of the Federal Government who affili- 
ates with the Klu Klux Klan? [Voices — No, never.] Can 
a man be said to be the friend of this government who is 
personally identified with the various associations that are 
conceiving mischief and bringing forth the fruits of a for- 
eign polity, and fostering a generation of bandits? [Voices — 
No.] Your answ r er is in the negative. Why is it, my fel- 
low citizens, that you answer me in the negative? It is be- 
cause you are patriots. [Cheers.] It is because you have 
resolved that the purity and fidelity of the national compact 
shall never be wrested from the patriot's grasp. [Applause.] 
You have given your hands and your hearts to this senti- 
ment; and, in the language of the revolutionary Fathers, you 
have written upon the banners of your invincible corps, 
" Victory or death!" But this is not of necessity a mortal 
combat. "We wrestle not against flesh and blood, but 



108 Borachio's Bo-Peep; or, 

against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of 
the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in 
high places." — [Eph. 6: 12.] We must also bear in mind 
that the "weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty 
through God to the pulling down of strongholds." — [II. Cor. 
X: 4.] There is a social vampire in our midst. He is an 
extortioner whose oppression knows no bounds. It is, how- 
ever, in our power to eject the invader, and rid the commu- 
nity of his merciless exactions. Shall we do it? You ask 
how can we drive him from the land? My answer is, cease 
to affiliate with him, and withhold from him your patronage, 
and your sympathy, and I assure you that before another 
decade shall have passed, you will be able to write his de- 
mise upon the records of necrology. But unless we have 
the internal virtue necessary to accomplish so great a task, 
we will not, we cannot succeed. So long as men will be 
allied to these unruly factions, just so long will they be de- 
feated. "Their vices will render it impossible." 

I have been requested to give my views upon the political 
outlook of the temperance question. You will find them in 
what I have already said. So long as temperance men and 
women will retain their connection with societies that are not 
prohibitionists, nor in sympathy with total abstinence prin- 
ciples, they cannot carry their resolutions into execution. 
Whenever you take morality and religion out of the tem- 
perance question, you defeat it entirely. It is true that 
politics has something to do with it in the present crisis ; 
but were the principles of total abstinence universally car- 
ried out practically, there would be no necessity for the 
enactment of prohibitory laws. No man, however intelli- 
gent, can be of material moral value in the suppression of 
the traffic, whose example is on the side against which we 
contend. Prohibition is abstinence, but the latter can be 
secured without the former, if the a good will combine." 
Says S. B. Chase, of the R. W. Grand Lodge of North 
America, in his book on the " Good of the Order," page 16 : 
" With my present views, if ever again privileged to prepare 
an obligation for our order, after the present pledge, I 



The Drunkard's Play with Children. 109 

would add, And you also promise forever to abandon all your 
old associates and all places where intoxicating beverages are 
sold. This would strike a key-note that would lead our 
brothers to successful reformation." 

Preceding this, he says: "The great difficulty lies in the 
fact that our members who have been slaves to the intoxi- 
cating bowl do not abandon their old haunts of dissipation 
and former companions." The remarks of Brother Chase 
are in place. I wonder if he is connected with any of the 
"haunts" he censures? Name to me a lodge in all the 
catalogue of lodges in this country, except the temperance 
lodges, that favor and practice total abstinence. What Mr. 
Chase says of the companions of rum may be said with 
equal propriety of those who are guilty of all manner of 
moral obliquity. Mr. G. H. Wheeler, of the I. O. G. T. 
Grand Lodge of New York, in a letter to the Gem, their 
official organ, under date of April, 1881, said: "Every in- 
telligent reader will at once recognize the fact that intem- 
perance and dancing are so closely allied, that the temper- 
ance reformer, in order to secure success, must set his face 
against this evil of dancing, as well as against the use of 
alcoholic beverages." The community have had too much 
of this social marmalade to eat. They pronounce it sweet 
to the palate; but it is as narcotic as is hemlock, and as 
dangerous to the moral system as the poison cup would be 
to the physical. This attempt to imitate virtue is nonsense. 
Be virtuous, then your own character will be the highest 
ideal of virtue itself. Men and women must not com- 
promise the demands of virtue with the energies of vice. 
They cannot afford in this great moral movement to operate 
without morality. But what a spirit of resentment is often 
found among those who claim to have the morale of society 
in view. The following letter will explain how the modern 
ecclesiarch, whose name it bears, reviewed one of the most 
successful temperance workers in the world : 

"Eds. Record- Union : In your report of the revival meet- 
ings this morning [Jan. 12, 1882], you quote Hallenbeck as 
saying that 'he had no confidence in human resolves and 



110 Borachio's Bo-Peep; or, 

efforts alone to overcome the power of a fixed appetite, for 
he knew from personal experience that the only effective 
and lasting remedy was the religion of Jesus Christ and the 
aid of Almighty God, which he urged them to accept.' I do 
not see why Mr. Halienbeck should feel called upon to thus 
discourage the efforts of temperance societies and Orders. 
If Mr. Halienbeck is right and no confidence is to be placed 
in human efforts and resolves, then the principles upon which 
the Order of Good Templars is founded are wrong and falla- 
cious. But the experience of moral reformers plainly con- 
tradicts the statement of Mr. Halienbeck. Thousands of 
men have, by the strength of their own resolution, com- 
pletely cured themselves of the appetite for strong drink. 
Mr. Halienbeck' s own personal experience will not serve as 
a standard of judgment for all men. There are those to 
whom the obligations of a pledge are held sacred. There 
are those who, acting from an enlightened self interest, cor- 
rect the vices of habit. If Mr. Halienbeck is right in saying 
that the only effective remedy for vice is the religion of 
Jesus Christ, then there could be no virtue among Moham- 
medans, Buddhists, Brahmins and other great religious 
divisions of the human race, and yet everybody except Mr. 
Halienbeck knows that the Mohammedans are a more sober 
people than the Christians, and that, as a fact, there is more 
drunkenness among the nations calling themselves Christian, 
than among the peoples holding to other religious faiths. 
But Mr. Halienbeck is not right, and his statements should 
not discourage the efforts of temperance people, who are 
engaged in that work as moral reformers. Mr. Hallen beck's 
statements were made under circumstances naturally calling 
forth that extravagantly zealous form of expression never 
wholly true and seldom sincere. F. H. & C." 

Who. is this mysterious F. H. & C? How would u Faith 
Hope and Charity," answer to his name, with alias F. H. & C. ? 

Had not the lodges better abandon their prayers alto- 
gether? Consistency, at least, would demand that they 
either invite this individual to believe in the " religion of 
Jesus Christ," and seek the "aid of Almighty God," or join 
the Brahmins, whose religion he pronounced superior to the 
religion of Christ. What right has a Christian in an insti- 
tution which harbors such a man? " Withdraw thyself from 
every brother that waiketh disorderly," is the Divine in- 
junction. David said: "I have not sat with vain persons, 



The Drunkard's Play with Children. Ill 

neither will I go in with dissemblers." "I have hated the 
congregation of evil doers, and will not sit with the wicked/' 
(Psa., 26: 4, 5.] Jeremiah says: " I sat not in the assembly 
of the mockers, nor rejoiced; I sat alone, because of thy hand: 
for thou has tilled me with indignation." — [Jer. 15: 17.] 
Solomon has well said: ''My son, if sinners entice thee, con- 
sent thou not. If they say come in with us, * * * cast 
thy lot with us; let us all have one purse. My son, walk not 
thou in the way with them ; refrain thy foot from their path." 
[Prov. 1: 10, 11, and 14, 15.] 

This social question needs to be washed and ironed out in 
both the church and the lodge. The churches ought to re- 
dedicate and reconsecrate their houses of worship to the care 
and keeping and most solemn worship of God, then keep them 
as" houses of prayer," and not make them "a den of thieves." 
Dedicate them, I say, audience room, basement and entrance, 
all told, from the top of the steeple down to the old red 
sandstone, and then forever "behave themselves in the 
house of God, which is the pillar and ground of truth." 
[1 Tim. 3: 15.] 

Pope Leo X, in order to complete St. Peter's at Rome, 
granted indulgences to be sold at the following prices: 

s. d. 
For simony 10 6 

For sacrilege 10 6 

For taking a false oath in a criminal case 9 

For robbing 12 

For burning a neighbor's house 12 

For [an unmentionable sin] 9 

For murdering a layman 7 Q 

For keeping a concubine 10 6 

For laying violent hands on a clergyman , 10 6 

— [Hawies's Church Hist., Vol. Ill, p. 147.] 



Modern indulgences are granted upon the following con- 
siderations: 

For mock-marriages at Sunday school entertainments, the 



door admittance, 50 cents. 



112 Borachio's Bo-Peep; or, 

For theatrical stages upon the sacred altar in God's house, 
and histrionic performances by a member of the church, 
$37, towards church indebtedness. 

For sacrilege of sacred song, $21 50, to be paid toward 
the pastor's salary. 

For grab bags, fish ponds, etc., at the east entrance of the 
temple, $17 80, to be appropriated to the mission in Japan. 

For one kiss of u pretty girl " at 25 cents each, $42 25, 
towards the distribution of the Bible in China. 

For literary entertainments on the regularly established 
nights of prayer, $39, toward the Theological Colleges of 
the church. 

For hiring a fool to desecrate the house of prayer by a 
multitude of "foolish and unlearned" words, $50, more or 
less, as the deficit shall demand, to send the fool on his way 
rejoicing. [See files of private diary.] 

For dressing in clown suits and ostensibly putting on con- 
tatory expressions to sing the most sacred hymns of the 
church in the church, for the amusement of the pleasure 
loving auditors, $66 70, to the Y. M. C. A. 

Other indulgences according to their par value in the 
market of applause. 

At the San Francisco Preachers' Meeting several weeks 
ago, the following was adopted against the too frequent par- 
odies upon sacred themes. We hope Sacramento will step 
to the front next: 

"Whereas, The spirit of worldliness and frivolity is espe- 
cially rife in California, and is a serious hindrance to true 
religion, manifesting itself not only in places of theatrical 
amusement, and in plays which parody the most sacred 
themes, but also in the disposition of Churches themselves 
to cater to depraved or frivolous tastes, in connection with 
tableaux, concerts, and dramatic entertainments, even in 
houses of worship, to the grief of the spiritually minded 
and the injurious diversion of the young from the spirit of 
piety; therefore, 

" Resolved, That as Christian pastors who are under solemn 
obligations to give warning to the Churches of approaching 
dangers, we bear testimony against the growing desire of 
many of oar Churches to occupy the places of divine wor- 



The Drunkard's Play with Children. 113 

ship with amusements which cannot be used 'in the name 
of the Lord Jesus,' since they minister to the elevation of 
neither mind nor heart. 

" Resolved, That while we do not sympathize with the spirit 
of fault finding, nor join the cry against recreations, and 
while we believe that the Church should furnish real and 
satisfactory nourishment to the social and mental as well as 
religious needs of humanity, we are clearly of the opinion 
that the design of the Divine Founder of the Church was to 
promote religion, and that nothing inconsistent with piety 
should be permitted in our places of worship. 

" Resolved, That we will read this preamble and resolutions 
from our pulpits and comment on the same, so as to warn 
our people against an evil which has already seriously com- 
promised the Churches on this coast, and threatens utterly to 
destroy our influence. 

"(Signed) J. H. Wythe, lcommittee _„ 



A. J. Wells 



*.}c, 



Alas! How sad to see the churches of the land falling 
into this sleep of the soul, and at the same time into the 
elating pleasures of the world. Oh, must it be written of 
them, that "they are lovers of pleasure more than lovers of 
God!" Let me hold up a pure and virtuous community as 
the noblest and grandest society that God has ever honored 
with the great work of Christian philanthropy. 

The Psalmest desired to have the world know the beauty 
and moral excellence of the Church. He said, "Walk 
about Zion, go round about her; tell the towers thereof. 
Mark ye well her bulwarks, consider her palaces, that ye 
may tell it to generations following." 

If you want to settle this question of popular evil, give 
the evil doer the Gospel. If jo\x want to save men from 
moral destruction give them the Gospel. In short: If you 
want to revolutionize society so that the " sword and the 
spear" will be turned into u pruning hooks and plowshares," 
give it the < Gospel. 

Since you have asked me to give my views upon the tem- 
perance question, I will read you the following resolution 
copied from the Occident, which I fully indorse, and close my 
remarks: 
8 



114 Borachio's Bo-Peep. 

In 1878 the General Assembly of the Presbyterian Church 
appointed a committee to confer with similar committees 
from other evangelical churches upon the subject of Tem- 
perance. The committee reported the following resolutions, 
and recommended them to all the evangelical churches of 
the land, as the combined testimony of the Church of Christ 
on the subject of Temperance: 

" First — Drunkenness is an evil of great proportions, hav- 
ing inherent and appaling malignity. It is strongly en- 
trenched by custom, cupidity and appetite. It works wide- 
spread ruin in society and destroys men's souls and bodies. 

" Second — The manufacture, sale and nse of intoxicating 
liquors, except for medicinal, mechanical, or scientific pur- 
poses, are venomed evils, dishonoring to God, and destruct- 
ive to men. 

" Third — -To aid either of these great evils by selling grain 
or hops to brewers or distillers, by making machinery for brew- 
ing or distilling, or casks to contain liquor, by leasing prop- 
erty on which intoxicating liquors may be made or sold or 
drunk, or by any other way, is to criminally participate in 
this most abhorrent sin. 

" Fourth — While in certain instances it results from inher- 
ited infirmity, drunkenness may be regarded as a misfortune, 
it is at the same time a sin against God and one's own body, 
and also a crime against society. 

" Fifth — Human power alone, whether as a pledge, an or- 
ganization, a profession, or otherwise, is entirely inadequate 
to the complete or permanent reformation of the drunkard. 
Reformation from drunkenness or any other immorality to 
be effectual must combine human effort and divine influence. 

" Sixth — The Christian Church sympathizes and should sym- 
pathize heartily and actively with all honest intelligent effort 
to reform inebriates and prevent and suppress intemperance. 

" Seventh — Christians must oppose the manufacture, sale, 
and use of intoxicating beverages by any practical methods. 
Legal prohibition, moral suasion, and the practice of total 
abstinence are demanded. 

u Eighth— The Church of Jesus Christ is an adequate en- 
ergy, if faithfully consecrated to the endeavor, for the reforma- 
tion of inebriates and the suppression of intemperance." 

Ladies and gentlemen, I thank you for your presence and 
decorum, and bid you good-night. 




BORACHIO. 



